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Fantasy » alt.fan.tolkien » Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney
Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #105196] Sa, 06 August 2005 19:01
androgynouspauly  
When we were young, Jonathan Muff, plump lad, hated the fact that I was
Tom's mate. Whenever Tom was round Jonathan's house he would try to
keep him away from me. He would stand behind his gate next to Tom,
leering and sneering at me like a silly little pathetic selfish idiot.
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #105198 ] Sa, 06 August 2005 20:03
nopspam  
"Then I laughed as one fey and said..." <androgynouspauly [at] yahoo.co.uk>
wrote in news:1123340695.944628.165060 [at] g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:

> When we were young, Jonathan Muff, plump lad, hated the fact that I was
> Tom's mate. Whenever Tom was round Jonathan's house he would try to
> keep him away from me. He would stand behind his gate next to Tom,
> leering and sneering at me like a silly little pathetic selfish idiot.

It doesn't seem that little Jonathan was one of the school bullies you
usually write your bitter posts about, some thirteen years after the events
as you have told me. Now you rather sound like a school bully yourself.
Maybe you were a Nick Ludgater too? Just a thought.

--
Mästerkatten
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #105269 ] Mo, 08 August 2005 11:59
androgynouspauly  
M=E4sterkatten wrote:
> "Then I laughed as one fey and said..." <androgynouspauly [at] yahoo.co.uk>
> wrote in news:1123340695.944628.165060 [at] g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>
> > When we were young, Jonathan Muff, plump lad, hated the fact that I was
> > Tom's mate. Whenever Tom was round Jonathan's house he would try to
> > keep him away from me. He would stand behind his gate next to Tom,
> > leering and sneering at me like a silly little pathetic selfish idiot.
>
> It doesn't seem that little Jonathan was one of the school bullies you
> usually write your bitter posts about, some thirteen years after the even=
ts
> as you have told me. Now you rather sound like a school bully yourself.
> Maybe you were a Nick Ludgater too? Just a thought.
>


What?? Me a school bully?? Nooo noo, my good man. I was too shy to ever
be a school bully. And you should know that I am far far to beautiful
to ever be compared to the hideous monstrosity that is Nick Ludgater.
No, Jonathan, you see, was sort of my mate once in pre-high school
days, but he wanted Tom for himself (this is the same Tom that Ludgater
was ass-licking when we were teenagers). Once upon a time, Jonathan,
Tom and myself all went out down the local lakes for Tom's birthday and
his mum invented a little game whereby whoever finds a bird's nest with
eggs in wins a bar of chocolate. Well, I was the first to find one and
Jonathan just sooooo hated it. During the whole trip I could feel a bad
atmosphere, particularly when I was talking to Tom. Jonathan was such a
selfish little fatso, he hated me being mates with Tom.

It's funny that you should mention Nick Ludgater again though because I
was only thinking about him the other day, wondering if he's pooing his
pants in case I ever totally lose the mental plot and go looking for
him. Ha ha serves him right. You shouldn't mess with people's minds
because you never know when they might turn up again in the future...
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #105273 ] Mo, 08 August 2005 13:06
nopspam  
"Then I laughed as one fey and said..."wrote:

> Mästerkatten wrote:
>> "Then I laughed as one fey and said..." wrote:
>>
>> > When we were young, Jonathan Muff, plump lad, hated the fact that I
>> > was Tom's mate. Whenever Tom was round Jonathan's house he would
>> > try to keep him away from me. He would stand behind his gate next
>> > to Tom, leering and sneering at me like a silly little pathetic
>> > selfish idiot.
>>
>> It doesn't seem that little Jonathan was one of the school bullies
>> you usually write your bitter posts about, some thirteen years after
>> the events
>> as you have told me. Now you rather sound like a school bully
>> yourself. Maybe you were a Nick Ludgater too? Just a thought.
>
> What?? Me a school bully?? Nooo noo, my good man. I was too shy to
> ever be a school bully.

But today you are scorning a person because of your rivalry over a third
boy's friendship - thirteen years ago?!

> And you should know that I am far far to
> beautiful to ever be compared to the hideous monstrosity that is Nick
> Ludgater.

I'm not talking about your looks.

> No, Jonathan, you see, was sort of my mate once in pre-high
> school days, but he wanted Tom for himself (this is the same Tom that
> Ludgater was ass-licking when we were teenagers). Once upon a time,
> Jonathan, Tom and myself all went out down the local lakes for Tom's
> birthday and his mum invented a little game whereby whoever finds a
> bird's nest with eggs in wins a bar of chocolate. Well, I was the
> first to find one and Jonathan just sooooo hated it. During the whole
> trip I could feel a bad atmosphere, particularly when I was talking to
> Tom. Jonathan was such a selfish little fatso, he hated me being mates
> with Tom.

Seriously, I don't understand why you even care after so many years. And
even less do I understand why you insist on humiliating yourself by
bringing up this kind of petty stories all the time in a public forum. If
you feel that Ludgater & Co. were degrading you in school, what is the
logic in a revenge where you voluntarily continue their work a decade
later?

[snip]

--
Mästerkatten
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #105274 ] Mo, 08 August 2005 13:25
androgynouspauly  
M=E4sterkatten wrote:
> "Then I laughed as one fey and said..."wrote:
>
> > M=E4sterkatten wrote:
> >> "Then I laughed as one fey and said..." wrote:
> >>
> >> > When we were young, Jonathan Muff, plump lad, hated the fact that I
> >> > was Tom's mate. Whenever Tom was round Jonathan's house he would
> >> > try to keep him away from me. He would stand behind his gate next
> >> > to Tom, leering and sneering at me like a silly little pathetic
> >> > selfish idiot.
> >>
> >> It doesn't seem that little Jonathan was one of the school bullies
> >> you usually write your bitter posts about, some thirteen years after
> >> the events
> >> as you have told me. Now you rather sound like a school bully
> >> yourself. Maybe you were a Nick Ludgater too? Just a thought.
> >
> > What?? Me a school bully?? Nooo noo, my good man. I was too shy to
> > ever be a school bully.
>
> But today you are scorning a person because of your rivalry over a third
> boy's friendship - thirteen years ago?!
>


No this was about 21 years ago.



> > And you should know that I am far far to
> > beautiful to ever be compared to the hideous monstrosity that is Nick
> > Ludgater.
>
> I'm not talking about your looks.
>
> > No, Jonathan, you see, was sort of my mate once in pre-high
> > school days, but he wanted Tom for himself (this is the same Tom that
> > Ludgater was ass-licking when we were teenagers). Once upon a time,
> > Jonathan, Tom and myself all went out down the local lakes for Tom's
> > birthday and his mum invented a little game whereby whoever finds a
> > bird's nest with eggs in wins a bar of chocolate. Well, I was the
> > first to find one and Jonathan just sooooo hated it. During the whole
> > trip I could feel a bad atmosphere, particularly when I was talking to
> > Tom. Jonathan was such a selfish little fatso, he hated me being mates
> > with Tom.
>
> Seriously, I don't understand why you even care after so many years. And
> even less do I understand why you insist on humiliating yourself by
> bringing up this kind of petty stories all the time in a public forum. If
> you feel that Ludgater & Co. were degrading you in school, what is the
> logic in a revenge where you voluntarily continue their work a decade
> later?
>


I'm not continuing their work...I'm gaining revenge by sniping at them
from afar. The world must be aware of their evil.
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #105294 ] Mo, 08 August 2005 18:02
nopspam  
"Then I laughed as one fey and said..." <androgynouspauly [at] yahoo.co.uk>
wrote in news:1123500322.086827.314250 [at] g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> Mästerkatten wrote:
>> "Then I laughed as one fey and said..."wrote:
>> > Mästerkatten wrote:
>> >> "Then I laughed as one fey and said..." wrote:
>> >>
>> >> > When we were young, Jonathan Muff, plump lad, hated the fact
>> >> > that I was Tom's mate. Whenever Tom was round Jonathan's house
>> >> > he would try to keep him away from me. He would stand behind his
>> >> > gate next to Tom, leering and sneering at me like a silly little
>> >> > pathetic selfish idiot.
>> >>
>> >> It doesn't seem that little Jonathan was one of the school bullies
>> >> you usually write your bitter posts about, some thirteen years
>> >> after the events
>> >> as you have told me. Now you rather sound like a school bully
>> >> yourself. Maybe you were a Nick Ludgater too? Just a thought.
>> >
>> > What?? Me a school bully?? Nooo noo, my good man. I was too shy to
>> > ever be a school bully.
>>
>> But today you are scorning a person because of your rivalry over a
>> third boy's friendship - thirteen years ago?!
>
> No this was about 21 years ago.

So much worse.

>> > And you should know that I am far far to
>> > beautiful to ever be compared to the hideous monstrosity that is
>> > Nick Ludgater.
>>
>> I'm not talking about your looks.
>>
>> > No, Jonathan, you see, was sort of my mate once in pre-high
>> > school days, but he wanted Tom for himself (this is the same Tom
>> > that Ludgater was ass-licking when we were teenagers). Once upon a
>> > time, Jonathan, Tom and myself all went out down the local lakes
>> > for Tom's birthday and his mum invented a little game whereby
>> > whoever finds a bird's nest with eggs in wins a bar of chocolate.
>> > Well, I was the first to find one and Jonathan just sooooo hated
>> > it. During the whole trip I could feel a bad atmosphere,
>> > particularly when I was talking to Tom. Jonathan was such a selfish
>> > little fatso, he hated me being mates with Tom.
>>
>> Seriously, I don't understand why you even care after so many years.
>> And even less do I understand why you insist on humiliating yourself
>> by bringing up this kind of petty stories all the time in a public
>> forum. If you feel that Ludgater & Co. were degrading you in school,
>> what is the logic in a revenge where you voluntarily continue their
>> work a decade later?
>
> I'm not continuing their work...I'm gaining revenge by sniping at them
> from afar.

I fail to see what triumph lies in this kind of "revenge". Looks rather
petty to me.

> The world must be aware of their evil.

And of the evil of little Jonathan too? Of his "leering and sneering" at
you? Come on.

--
Mästerkatten
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #105299 ] Mo, 08 August 2005 19:58
androgynouspauly  
M=E4sterkatten wrote:
> "Then I laughed as one fey and said..." <androgynouspauly [at] yahoo.co.uk>
> wrote in news:1123500322.086827.314250 [at] g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> > M=E4sterkatten wrote:
> >> "Then I laughed as one fey and said..."wrote:
> >> > M=E4sterkatten wrote:
> >> >> "Then I laughed as one fey and said..." wrote:
>
> >
> > I'm not continuing their work...I'm gaining revenge by sniping at them
> > from afar.
>
> I fail to see what triumph lies in this kind of "revenge". Looks rather
> petty to me.
>
> > The world must be aware of their evil.
>
> And of the evil of little Jonathan too? Of his "leering and sneering" at
> you? Come on.
>
> --
> M=E4sterkatten


Oh I think you take me too seriously. I could just post "Jonathan Muff
was a mean kid in the early eighties" but I thought I'd add a little
(true) story just to make for more interesting reading. But Ludgater
truly was evil. I mean to try any lowdown rotten dirty tricks to spoil
someone's happiness...that's just not cricket is it. When I was
indulging in bizarre "offensive" behaviour as an adolescent, it was out
of my control...just a channeling out of the evil that Nick Ludgater
was channeling in...into my mind and into my life. Nicholas Robert
Ludgater caused that unfortunate behaviour, of that I'm certain. He
fully deserves his public humiliation. I hope his "girlfriend" doesn't
breed with him. Christ just imagine if his malevolent genes are passed
on to the future of mankind...
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #105315 ] Di, 09 August 2005 00:45
Flame of the West  
Then I laughed as one fey and said... wrote:

> Nicholas Robert
> Ludgater caused that unfortunate behaviour, of that I'm certain. He
> fully deserves his public humiliation. I hope his "girlfriend" doesn't
> breed with him.

Why is "girlfriend" in quotes?


-- FotW

Reality is for those who cannot cope with Middle-earth.
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #110501 ] Mo, 15 August 2005 18:56
androgynouspauly  
>Why is "girlfriend" in quotes?

>-- FotW


Dunno. Just is. Hey, I wonder if I could retrospectivly sue Ludgater.
Sue him for "deliberate mental and social oppression from the age of 16
to 19". Is there such a crime? If not, then there should be.
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #110502 ] Mo, 15 August 2005 20:26
Dan C  
On Mon, 15 Aug 2005 09:56:47 -0700, Then I laughed as one fey and said...
wrote:

> Dunno. Just is. Hey, I wonder if I could retrospectivly sue Ludgater.
> Sue him for "deliberate mental and social oppression from the age of 16
> to 19". Is there such a crime? If not, then there should be.

Why don't you put a gun barrel in your mouth and pull the trigger, instead.

--
If you're not on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
Linux Registered User #327951
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #110521 ] Di, 16 August 2005 11:30
nopspam  
Dan C <youmustbejoking [at] invalid.lan> wrote in
news:pan.2005.08.15.18.26.03.864117 [at] invalid.lan:

> On Mon, 15 Aug 2005 09:56:47 -0700, Then I laughed as one fey and
> said... wrote:
>
>> Dunno. Just is. Hey, I wonder if I could retrospectivly sue Ludgater.
>> Sue him for "deliberate mental and social oppression from the age of
>> 16 to 19". Is there such a crime? If not, then there should be.
>
> Why don't you put a gun barrel in your mouth and pull the trigger,
> instead.

Because he wouldn't know what they say about him afterwards? Maybe he finds
his present method of self-destruction more entertaining.

--
Mästerkatten
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #110522 ] Di, 16 August 2005 13:35
androgynouspauly  
Dan C wrote:
> On Mon, 15 Aug 2005 09:56:47 -0700, Then I laughed as one fey and said...
> wrote:
>
> > Dunno. Just is. Hey, I wonder if I could retrospectivly sue Ludgater.
> > Sue him for "deliberate mental and social oppression from the age of 16
> > to 19". Is there such a crime? If not, then there should be.
>
> Why don't you put a gun barrel in your mouth and pull the trigger, instead.
>


Ludgater's mouth would be a better place for a gun. Anyway, why don't
you, Dan Cretin, switch off your tv set and do something less boring
instead? WHY DON'T YOU?!
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #113487 ] Di, 16 August 2005 19:49
Dan C  
On Tue, 16 Aug 2005 04:35:19 -0700, Then I laughed as one fey and said...
wrote:

>> > Dunno. Just is. Hey, I wonder if I could retrospectivly sue Ludgater.
>> > Sue him for "deliberate mental and social oppression from the age of
>> > 16 to 19". Is there such a crime? If not, then there should be.

>> Why don't you put a gun barrel in your mouth and pull the trigger,
>> instead.

> Ludgater's mouth would be a better place for a gun.

Whatever. Blow him away first, and then yourself.

> Anyway, why don't you, Dan Cretin, switch off your tv set and do
> something less boring instead? WHY DON'T YOU?!

My TV isn't on, and I'm not bored. Why don't you run along and get your
jollies somewhere else, you fucking ignorant psychopath?

--
If you're not on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
Linux Registered User #327951
Re: Jonathan Muff, engineer with May Gurney [message #113488 ] Di, 16 August 2005 20:11
androgynouspauly  
Daniel C wrote this...

> My TV isn't on, and I'm not bored. Why don't you run along and get your
> jollies somewhere else, you ------- ignorant psychopath?
>


I am part of the fabric of this group, Daniel son. I've been posting
here since October 1999. It would not be the same without me.
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