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Science Fiction » alt.startrek » OT: Intro to "Lost" For Star Trek Fans :-)
| OT: Intro to "Lost" For Star Trek Fans :-) [message #78481] |
Do, 14 Juli 2005 04:07 |
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To bring newbies up to speed on the TV show "Lost," here is an
introduction of what's happened in Season One. (I amended it to add
some of the newest stuff.)
A bunch of people miraculously survive a plane crash on a tropical
island.
How did they survive? Why?
The pilot just got eaten by a giant monster!
A giant monster? What is it? How did it get there?
There’s a transmitter on the island!
What’s powering it? Why is it there?
The dog lived!
Huh? How did it manage that?
Locke used to be paralyzed, and now he isn’t!
Did the island do that? Something about the crash? How did that happen?
Hey, fresh water!
Um, right.
And mummified bodies!
Of who?
Someone knocked out Sayid while he was looking for the source of the
transmission!
Who? Why?
Sayid found some crazy French chick in the jungle!
Crazy French chick? Why is she crazy? What the fuck?
A psychic predicted the crash to Claire!
A psychic? You mean they’re not all fakes?
Ethan wasn’t on the plane!
Wait a second. Then how did he get there? What’s he doing?
Charlie’s been killed! No, wait, he’s still alive.
Why isn’t he dead? Is it because he was in that Lord of the Rings movie?
Look, a locked briefcase. And a hatch.
A hatch? What the fucking fuck?
Oh, wait, the island, it also manufactures hallucinations.
It does? How? Why?
Another polar bear!
Crap. Where did this one come from?
And Walt has magic powers.
Why? What can he do? What has this got to do with ANYTHING?
Claire’s back.
What happened to her while she was away?
Sawyer’s hearing voices. And there’s this boar which is really pissed
at him.
Voices? Intelligent boar? What next?
Hurley won the lottery before the crash. And his numbers are printed
on the side of the hatch.
Uh huh. Why are there numbers on there? How is this all connected?
There’s another plane crashed on the island.
Another plane. How did it get there? Why is it still there?
Locke is paralyzed again!
Boone is dying!
Locke is not paralyzed again!
The hatch lights up!
What the fucking fuck, I mean, fuck!
And Locke was the one who whomped Sayid on the head way back. Feels
like years ago, don’t it?
Why would Locke do that?
The French lady is back. The Others are coming!
Double crap. Who are the Others?
The Black Rock is a sailing ship!
Okaaaaay. How did it get there? Why do we care?
They sail on a raft.
The Others kidnap Walt! Why? Who the fuck knows?
They blow up the hatch!
To Be Continued In Season Two!!!
http://tinyurl.com/8h6o5
--
Steven D. Litvintchouk
Email: sdlitvin [at] earthlinkNOSPAM.net
Remove the NOSPAM before replying to me.
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| Re: OT: Intro to "Lost" For Star Trek Fans :-) [message #78511 ] |
Do, 14 Juli 2005 14:00 |
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*snerk*
That was hilarious! It achieve total heaviocity. It almost made sitting
through that show worth it. But only almost...
in article WNjBe.7802$8f7.1262 [at] newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net, Steven L.
at sdlitvin [at] earthlinkNOSPAM.net wrote on 7/13/05 9:07 PM:
> To bring newbies up to speed on the TV show "Lost," here is an
> introduction of what's happened in Season One. (I amended it to add
> some of the newest stuff.)
>
> A bunch of people miraculously survive a plane crash on a tropical
> island.
>
> How did they survive? Why?
>
> The pilot just got eaten by a giant monster!
>
> A giant monster? What is it? How did it get there?
>
> There¹s a transmitter on the island!
>
> What¹s powering it? Why is it there?
>
> The dog lived!
>
> Huh? How did it manage that?
>
> Locke used to be paralyzed, and now he isn¹t!
>
> Did the island do that? Something about the crash? How did that happen?
>
> Hey, fresh water!
>
> Um, right.
>
> And mummified bodies!
>
> Of who?
>
> Someone knocked out Sayid while he was looking for the source of the
> transmission!
>
> Who? Why?
>
> Sayid found some crazy French chick in the jungle!
>
> Crazy French chick? Why is she crazy? What the fuck?
>
> A psychic predicted the crash to Claire!
>
> A psychic? You mean they¹re not all fakes?
>
> Ethan wasn¹t on the plane!
>
> Wait a second. Then how did he get there? What¹s he doing?
>
> Charlie¹s been killed! No, wait, he¹s still alive.
>
> Why isn¹t he dead? Is it because he was in that Lord of the Rings movie?
>
> Look, a locked briefcase. And a hatch.
>
> A hatch? What the fucking fuck?
>
> Oh, wait, the island, it also manufactures hallucinations.
>
> It does? How? Why?
>
> Another polar bear!
>
> Crap. Where did this one come from?
>
> And Walt has magic powers.
>
> Why? What can he do? What has this got to do with ANYTHING?
>
> Claire¹s back.
>
> What happened to her while she was away?
>
> Sawyer¹s hearing voices. And there¹s this boar which is really pissed
> at him.
>
> Voices? Intelligent boar? What next?
>
> Hurley won the lottery before the crash. And his numbers are printed
> on the side of the hatch.
>
> Uh huh. Why are there numbers on there? How is this all connected?
>
> There¹s another plane crashed on the island.
>
> Another plane. How did it get there? Why is it still there?
>
> Locke is paralyzed again!
>
> Boone is dying!
>
> Locke is not paralyzed again!
>
> The hatch lights up!
>
> What the fucking fuck, I mean, fuck!
>
> And Locke was the one who whomped Sayid on the head way back. Feels
> like years ago, don¹t it?
>
> Why would Locke do that?
>
> The French lady is back. The Others are coming!
>
> Double crap. Who are the Others?
>
> The Black Rock is a sailing ship!
>
> Okaaaaay. How did it get there? Why do we care?
>
> They sail on a raft.
>
> The Others kidnap Walt! Why? Who the fuck knows?
>
> They blow up the hatch!
>
> To Be Continued In Season Two!!!
>
> http://tinyurl.com/8h6o5
>
--
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
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| Re: OT: Intro to "Lost" For Star Trek Fans :-) [message #80434 ] |
Sa, 16 Juli 2005 03:23 |
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You're going to need a *lot* more treknobabble (you *have* to
reconfigure something to make it emit some new particle we'll never
hear of again, at *least*) to explain "Lost" to trekkies.
Steven L. wrote:
> To bring newbies up to speed on the TV show "Lost," here is an
> introduction of what's happened in Season One. (I amended it to add
> some of the newest stuff.)
>
> A bunch of people miraculously survive a plane crash on a tropical
> island.
That *is* miraculous: If you watch way too many made-for-TV disaster
movies you'll realize just how amazing it was for an "Oceanic Airlines"
flight to be as successful as this one was.
>
> How did they survive? Why?
If they hadn't survived, the cast would be bitching about their lack of
lines and how they're having to spend ever-increasing lengths of time
in make-up before filming...
>
> The pilot just got eaten by a giant monster!
Guest stars: The Other White Meat!!
>
> A giant monster? What is it? How did it get there?
It's obviously shy; I'm guessing it settled on a remote island to get
away from people who always tend to judge others by how many of their
family members they consumed...
>
> There's a transmitter on the island!
"You're listening to KOOK; all crazy French chick, all the time..."
>
> What's powering it? Why is it there?
There's a polar bear running in a huge wheel after a frozen Klondike
Bar hanging just outside; this powers an *enormous* conveyer belt that
brings in specially trained pelicans from the mainland which are
genetically engineered to fly out and pick up batteries for the French
chick's transmitter.
>
> The dog lived!
>
> Huh? How did it manage that?
Boxey must have his daggit.
>
> Locke used to be paralyzed, and now he isn't!
>
By Season Three Chris Carter was just making up shit for the Millennium
Group all the time.
> Did the island do that? Something about the crash? How did that happen?
>
> Hey, fresh water!
>
> Um, right.
Yeah, it's not like we ever see it raining there...
>
> And mummified bodies!
>
> Of who?
>
> Someone knocked out Sayid while he was looking for the source of the
> transmission!
>
> Who? Why?
The producers; they wanted to carry the show past a half-dozen eps.
>
> Sayid found some crazy French chick in the jungle!
>
> Crazy French chick? Why is she crazy? What the fuck?
Yes. She saw her beloved John Sheridan in "Snakehead Terror." I don't
want to meet the person who still has all their marbles after that!!
>
> A psychic predicted the crash to Claire!
>
> A psychic? You mean they're not all fakes?
>
Look for the psychic who's made a hobby of winning the lottery.
> Ethan wasn't on the plane!
>
> Wait a second. Then how did he get there? What's he doing?
>
> Charlie's been killed! No, wait, he's still alive.
>
> Why isn't he dead? Is it because he was in that Lord of the Rings movie?
>
He was only mostly dead.
> Look, a locked briefcase. And a hatch.
>
> A hatch? What the fucking fuck?
They've finally found where Hussein hid his WMDs.
>
> Oh, wait, the island, it also manufactures hallucinations.
>
> It does? How? Why?
You've obviously never smoked any Hawaiin Redbud.
>
> Another polar bear!
>
> Crap. Where did this one come from?
When a mommy polar bear and a dady polar bear like each other in that
*special* way...
>
> And Walt has magic powers.
>
> Why? What can he do? What has this got to do with ANYTHING?
Maybe Hogwarts has a Community College on the island.
>
> Claire's back.
>
> What happened to her while she was away?
Someone painted funny "Maximum Occupancy" warning signs on her belly.
>
> Sawyer's hearing voices. And there's this boar which is really pissed
> at him.
>
Who isn't pissed at Sawyer??
> Voices? Intelligent boar? What next?
>
> Hurley won the lottery before the crash. And his numbers are printed
> on the side of the hatch.
>
> Uh huh. Why are there numbers on there? How is this all connected?
A manufactured object with ***NUMBERS*** on it???????????????????? How
far-out freaky-deaky can you get??????????
>
> There's another plane crashed on the island.
>
> Another plane. How did it get there? Why is it still there?
Gravity... and gravity.
>
> Locke is paralyzed again!
>
> Boone is dying!
>
> Locke is not paralyzed again!
>
> The hatch lights up!
>
> What the fucking fuck, I mean, fuck!
>
> And Locke was the one who whomped Sayid on the head way back. Feels
> like years ago, don't it?
>
> Why would Locke do that?
Locke is an Owl, Sahid was a Rooster.
>
> The French lady is back. The Others are coming!
>
> Double crap. Who are the Others?
>
> The Black Rock is a sailing ship!
>
> Okaaaaay. How did it get there? Why do we care?
You know how those three-hour tours go...
>
> They sail on a raft.
>
> The Others kidnap Walt! Why? Who the fuck knows?
>
> They blow up the hatch!
>
> To Be Continued In Season Two!!!
>
> http://tinyurl.com/8h6o5
>
We'll see in a few months: Either the producers are working to some
intricate Plan and the show will continue, or they're just pulling
weird shit out of their asses week after week, in which case don't
pre-order the Season Three DVDs.
*****
The Joker in the Eeeeeeevil Cabal Deck of Cards.
Once we lose magnetic containment, Mr. Antimatter is no longer our
friend.
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| Re: OT: Intro to "Lost" For Star Trek Fans :-) [message #80450 ] |
Sa, 16 Juli 2005 06:38 |
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"Bozo the Evil Klown" <Evilklowwn [at] aol.com> wrote in message
news:1121476990.361771.146100 [at] g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> You're going to need a *lot* more treknobabble (you *have* to
> reconfigure something to make it emit some new particle we'll never
> hear of again, at *least*) to explain "Lost" to trekkies.
<snip>
I think they are just gearing up for the "Lost: Fire WalksWith Me" feature
film.
jdn
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| Re: OT: Intro to "Lost" For Star Trek Fans :-) [message #80451 ] |
Sa, 16 Juli 2005 06:42 |
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In article <UqKdnV9kJpH6EkXfRVn-pg [at] speakeasy.net>,
"jdn" <kingcrim [at] earthlink.net> wrote:
> "Bozo the Evil Klown" <Evilklowwn [at] aol.com> wrote in message
> news:1121476990.361771.146100 [at] g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> > You're going to need a *lot* more treknobabble (you *have* to
> > reconfigure something to make it emit some new particle we'll never
> > hear of again, at *least*) to explain "Lost" to trekkies.
>
> <snip>
>
> I think they are just gearing up for the "Lost: Fire WalksWith Me" feature
> film.
>
> jdn
Or maybe getting ready for the sequel: "Found."
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| Re: OT: Intro to "Lost" For Star Trek Fans :-) [message #80468 ] |
Sa, 16 Juli 2005 13:49 |
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On Fri, 15 Jul 2005 23:38:55 -0500, "jdn" <kingcrim [at] earthlink.net>
wrote:
>
>"Bozo the Evil Klown" <Evilklowwn [at] aol.com> wrote in message
>news:1121476990.361771.146100 [at] g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>> You're going to need a *lot* more treknobabble (you *have* to
>> reconfigure something to make it emit some new particle we'll never
>> hear of again, at *least*) to explain "Lost" to trekkies.
>
><snip>
>
>I think they are just gearing up for the "Lost: Fire WalksWith Me" feature
>film.
Will they finally find out who murdered Sarah Palmer?
Cheers,
Jaime
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| Re: OT: Intro to "Lost" For Star Trek Fans :-) [message #80517 ] |
So, 17 Juli 2005 05:14 |
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Jaime M. de Castellvi (3cjmd [at] comcast.net) wrote:
: On Fri, 15 Jul 2005 23:38:55 -0500, "jdn" <kingcrim [at] earthlink.net>
: wrote:
: >
: >"Bozo the Evil Klown" <Evilklowwn [at] aol.com> wrote in message
: >news:1121476990.361771.146100 [at] g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
: >> You're going to need a *lot* more treknobabble (you *have* to
: >> reconfigure something to make it emit some new particle we'll never
: >> hear of again, at *least*) to explain "Lost" to trekkies.
: >
: ><snip>
: >
: >I think they are just gearing up for the "Lost: Fire WalksWith Me" feature
: >film.
: Will they finally find out who murdered Sarah Palmer?
It was Kristin Shepherd! No, wait a minute, she shot J.R. Ewing. I meant
to say Maggie Simpson.
Brad
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| Re: OT: Intro to "Lost" For Star Trek Fans :-) [message #80558 ] |
Mo, 18 Juli 2005 06:27 |
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Brad Filippone wrote:
> Jaime M. de Castellvi (3cjmd [at] comcast.net) wrote:
> : On Fri, 15 Jul 2005 23:38:55 -0500, "jdn" <kingcrim [at] earthlink.net>
> : wrote:
>
> : >
> : >"Bozo the Evil Klown" <Evilklowwn [at] aol.com> wrote in message
> : >news:1121476990.361771.146100 [at] g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> : >> You're going to need a *lot* more treknobabble (you *have* to
> : >> reconfigure something to make it emit some new particle we'll never
> : >> hear of again, at *least*) to explain "Lost" to trekkies.
> : >
> : ><snip>
> : >
> : >I think they are just gearing up for the "Lost: Fire WalksWith Me" feature
> : >film.
>
> : Will they finally find out who murdered Sarah Palmer?
>
> It was Kristin Shepherd! No, wait a minute, she shot J.R. Ewing. I meant
> to say Maggie Simpson.
>
> Brad
I thought it was "Laura" Palmer?
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