| Script of SNL Gays In Space skit #3 05/07/2005 renamed to Visitors From Another Planet [message #28572] |
Mo, 09 Mai 2005 07:04 |
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[Saturday Night Live "Gays In Space" skit #3 05/07/2005
renamed to "Visitors From Another Planet" ?! ]
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>>> Welcome back to channel 5's late-night movie,
"Visitors From Another Planet."
>> Zebulon, I brought earthling that I captured earlier today.
>> Excellent work, zarton.
>> I can't believe I got kidnapped by martians.
>> Martians?
No.
We are from the planet plargon 7.
>> I told you that they weren't a very intelligent species.
>> Fear not, human.We are a peaceful people,
and I'm sure you must have many questions.
>> Yes, did you guys build the pyramids?
>> Yes. We helped to construct your great
pyramids many thousands of years ago.
>> How about those crop circles?
>> The crop circles you speak of are manmade.
>> Hmm.
Oh, I got a good question.
Why do you guys always anally probe people?
[ Laughter ]
>> What's that?
>> You know, when someone gets abducted,
they always get anally probed. Why?
>> We don't anally probe people.
>> Q and A is over.
We should get out of here, ace.
>> Zarton, what is he talking about?
>> I don't know.
He's probably got some type of space sickness.
Don't worry. I'll get him out of here.
>> I want to know why I got probed?
>> Wait. You were anally probed?
>> Yeah, he said it was some kind of medical experience.
>> Zarton?
>> Why would I be doing a medical experiment?
I'm not a doctor.
>> Yeah, he used that long metallic testing tube
that he carries in his spacesuit.
>> Bad news. That wasn't a test tube.
>> Oh, well, that explains the scented candles
and kenny rogers music.
>> Oh, man, you are so busted.
>> All right, but look how he was dressed.
He was asking for it.
>> He's wearing overalls.
>> Yeah, but he had one strap hanging down
, he was looking over his shoulder like that.
>> This is inexcusable, zarton.
>> Give me a break.
I thought what happened on earth stayed on earth.
>> Don't they have females on earth?
>> Yes, but they are 100 feet tall and too strong to catch.
Just go with me on this one.
>> I'm not covering for you.
You probed me.
>> You are a disgrace, zarton.
Consider yourself on immediate suspension from the plargon fleet.
>> Ha, ha, you got busted.
>> I don't know what
you laughing about.
You the one that got probed.
[ Laughter ]
>> Enough.
Earthling, we will now send you back to your planet.
>> Okay, I'll take him back.
>> Not you, zarton.
I'm talking to jackson.
>> You got it, boss.
>> But before you go, earthling,
I am sorry for any trouble that zarton has caused.
And as a show of good faith,
I will grant you the knowledge
to solve the hunger problem that plagues your planet.
>> Thank you, zebulon.
And even though we are from different planets, you've
shown me that good will can
exist across the universe.
>> Just go with jackson in the library, and he'll
provide you with all that you need.
>> Why are there so many candles in here?
"Lady, I'm your knight in shining armor and I love you"
>>
Kenny rogers music always puts me in the mood.
>> I told you these earthlings are gullible.
>> Good job, zarton.
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