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Science Fiction » alt.fan.douglas-adams » Producer & Director Better Find that Cabin in Alaska
Producer & Director Better Find that Cabin in Alaska [message #23544] Fr, 29 April 2005 09:17
Aphelion  
Just saw the midnight showing in my local cinema and...

*SPOILERS*






















































.... the scuttlebutt is true. The movie is pretty bad. I'd give it *1/2 out
of ****. It'll last two weeks in theaters and be on DVD in July. Word of
mouth will kill it quickly. I was enjoying it near the beginning despite
the rapid-fire pace of events and severe shaving of key moments in the book.
I was willing to let some things slide. After all, it's a flick. But then
it blazes past the towel explanation (meanwhile we have Ford using the towel
for everything, general audiences have got to be wondering what the hell
he's doing). In fact, for a movie that tries so hard to have a broad appeal
(Arthur/Trillian romance, several "action" scenes), it does a really lousy
job of conveying the story (i.e., what is intact from the book). I don't
think I would have been able to follow the plot for a millisecond had I not
just come off of reading the book. As noted, I saw the midnight showing,
and these things don't consist of any shlub off the street with $8.50, these
were the Hitchhiker FANS, the hardcore folks. Some giggling during the
opening dolphin bit had all but dissipated once the "song and dance" number
began. Yikes. There are so many things wrong with the movie, but I'll
start with what's right:

-Freeman, Def, and Rockwell were perfectly cast.

-There are some great visual effects.

-The Guide design is cool, and the Narrator has a British accent.

-The best (maybe the only good) part in the movie is when the Guide is
revealed amid the title theme from the 1981 miniseries.

Now for the gripes:

-Ford distracts the construction workers with beer and peanuts. What?

-They didn't film Zaphod's hijacking of the Heart of Gold in real time?
Actually there are some lame bits as part of news footage). That chapter in
the book was one of the most cinematic; it was *begging* to be shot. I mean
come on, Zaphod activating the freeze bomb and plowing through the crowd?
That could have been phenomenal!

-The Improbability Drive is used too many times before the movie finally
explains what it is. Another general audience killer. Plus, it isn't fully
exploited. Remember the great trippy scene when Arthur and Ford and rescued
and endure the Imp Drive's aftereffects in the HoG's bay? Reduced to a
single shot of two talking sofas. This, with today's CGI possibilties, is a
crime.

-Why does alien text (such as the T-shirts on Magrathea during the Deep
Thought scene) and in Slartibartfast's lab appear as English?

-Slartibartfast totally doesn't work. The miniseries did it much better.
In fact, the entire Deep Thought backstory was pushed towards the beginning
of the movie, shown as exposition on a HoG monitor. The "42" gag, probably
the most memorable one from HHG, the most notoriously brilliant, is
relegated to just that... a short gag. This is a crime. This is a
climactic moment that should have been left for Slarti to reveal to Arthur.

-Why are the Deep Thought interactees played by children? This is foolish,
since it's distracting and part of one of the most key moments of the lore
(did I mention it lasts like two minutes?) Then, after the 4 million or
whatever years pass, and Deep Thought is pressed for the answer, it appears
to be the same children actors playing the descendants (mind you everyone
else in the crowd scenes are adults).

-What's with the cartoony-voiced crab things?

-What's with the fly swatters?

-They keep the bowl of petunias bit, verbatim from the book, but they can't
put a line in about why towels are so nifty?

My two major bitches, however:

-Trillian is so woefully misinterpreted in the movie. I got the impression
that she was of exotic ethnicity, possibly Indian, because I believe Adams
referenced her as dark-skinned a couple of times. If they wanted to
completely Hollywood-ize the character, okay, fine, whatever, but jeez, what
a wasted opportunity to push the envelope. And of course, I thought the
romance was unnecessary and cumbersome. There was enough straightforward
story in the novel that they didn't need to cram in all this love
triangle/rescue bullshit.

-The Vogons are used WAY too much. They should have had them disappear
after the airlock scene, as in the book, and kept them as supporting
characters. Instead we get unnecessarily protracted, expensive-looking yet
dull exposition scenes with the Vogons and Helen Mirren (who is wasted I
might add). The Vogons aren't interesting, and may I point out that the
movie kills the poetry scene. It just doesn't work here. Plus, we go to
the Vogon planet (I think) for some reason, and it's terrible. That entire
Trillian rescue episode was a real killer.

So wanna hear the worst part? My fellow midnight audience of Douglas Adams
fans didn't laugh once, I kid you not. After the dolphins, that was it.
Nothin'. Nadda. Just completely pervasive uncomfortable silence from one
misfired gag to the next. No applause during the credits. As I was walking
out of the theater, a teary-eyed woman was telling her husband, "What a
waste. It felt like a funeral. Beloved material dying right before my
eyes." OMG!!! That hit me HARD. I was ready to shrug it off and go home,
but that punched me in the gut. The material she speaks of is a masterwork
and may forever by synonymous with this goofy mess. Like Frank Herbert's
Dune versus the Lynch film. A total confusing disappointment, for all time.


Aphelion
Re: Producer & Director Better Find that Cabin in Alaska [message #23549 ] Fr, 29 April 2005 09:32
nacey  
Aphelion wrote:

> Just saw the midnight showing in my local cinema and...
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> So wanna hear the worst part? My fellow midnight audience of Douglas Adams
> fans didn't laugh once, I kid you not. After the dolphins, that was it.
> Nothin'. Nadda. Just completely pervasive uncomfortable silence from one
> misfired gag to the next. No applause during the credits. As I was walking
> out of the theater, a teary-eyed woman was telling her husband, "What a
> waste. It felt like a funeral. Beloved material dying right before my
> eyes." OMG!!! That hit me HARD. I was ready to shrug it off and go home,
> but that punched me in the gut. The material she speaks of is a masterwork
> and may forever by synonymous with this goofy mess. Like Frank Herbert's
> Dune versus the Lynch film. A total confusing disappointment, for all time.
>
>
> Aphelion

My sister and I were bereft. Tina was seriously upset. So was I. We
just walked out of there, and I started ranting, madly ranting, to
anyone that would listen. I gripped onto the memory Guide Reveal and my
happy teary-eyed joy at seeing that bit - for a brief moment, I thought
it would all be okay...

And then the rest of the movie happened. *disheartened sigh* When I
got home, I watched the TV series DVD. *hugs it to her chest*

-Nancy.
Re: Producer & Director Better Find that Cabin in Alaska [message #23559 ] Fr, 29 April 2005 11:43
grantkemp  
Aph, I feel your pain, This movie should have been delayed, reshot and
reassembled. Right now I feel like doing the same to the directors and
producers, without the delayed and reassembled bits.
Re: Producer & Director Better Find that Cabin in Alaska [message #26827 ] Mo, 02 Mai 2005 17:52
nacey  
springbok wrote:

> Aph, I feel your pain, This movie should have been delayed, reshot and
> reassembled. Right now I feel like doing the same to the directors and
> producers, without the delayed and reassembled bits.

What those bastards need is the Total Perspective Vortex. Jerks.

Oh - and you know what? I was accused of being 'pedantic' about it all.
Which really is quite lovely. *sniff*

Nancy.
Vorheriges Thema:How to Fix This Zarking Film
Nächstes Thema:The movie was like a school child's plagiaristic short story assignment
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