| The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300441] |
So, 16 Juli 2006 00:28 |
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The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete sense
of humour. One never reads of a Balrog who offered Saruman an exploding
cigar or slapped Gandalf on the back and told thim a story about two
Irishmen called Pat and Mike. They were no fun at all at parties, useful
only for setting fire to the plum pudding at Christmas. One suspects their
present-day descendants are low-level civil servants.
Öjevind
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300442 ] |
So, 16 Juli 2006 00:33 |
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=D6jevind L=E5ng wrote:
> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete sense
> of humour. One never reads of a Balrog who offered Saruman an exploding
> cigar or slapped Gandalf on the back and told thim a story about two
> Irishmen called Pat and Mike. They were no fun at all at parties, useful
> only for setting fire to the plum pudding at Christmas. One suspects their
> present-day descendants are low-level civil servants.
>
They also hated Yule. The paper hats they tried to wear always burst
into flame before they could take humorous photos of one another.
Neil Anderson
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300443 ] |
So, 16 Juli 2006 01:18 |
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"Öjevind Lång" <bredband.net [at] ojevind.lang> skrev i meddelandet
news:4ht8h5F166jsU1 [at] individual.net...
> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete lack
> of a sense of humour. One never reads of a Balrog who offered Saruman an
> exploding cigar or slapped Gandalf on the back and told thim a story about
> two Irishmen called Pat and Mike. They were no fun at all at parties,
> useful only for setting fire to the plum pudding at Christmas. One
> suspects their present-day descendants are low-level civil servants.
I noticed I had skipped the words "lack of a" and have included them now.
Öjevind
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300446 ] |
So, 16 Juli 2006 01:39 |
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nanderson [at] transact.bm <nanderson [at] transact.bm> wrote:
> Öjevind Lång wrote:
>> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete
>> sense of humour. One never reads of a Balrog who offered Saruman an
>> exploding cigar or slapped Gandalf on the back and told thim a story
>> about two Irishmen called Pat and Mike. They were no fun at all at
>> parties, useful only for setting fire to the plum pudding at
>> Christmas. One suspects their present-day descendants are low-level
>> civil servants.
>>
> They also hated Yule. The paper hats they tried to wear always burst
> into flame before they could take humorous photos of one another.
LOL! That _would_ be a real downer, wouldn't it?
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300447 ] |
So, 16 Juli 2006 02:04 |
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Öjevind Lång wrote:
> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete sense
> of humour. One never reads of a Balrog who offered Saruman an exploding
> cigar or slapped Gandalf on the back and told thim a story about two
> Irishmen called Pat and Mike. They were no fun at all at parties, useful
> only for setting fire to the plum pudding at Christmas. One suspects their
> present-day descendants are low-level civil servants.
>
> Öjevind
>
>
Although there was that one in the HoME series in v. XI that told the
Olaf and Sven story.....
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300451 ] |
So, 16 Juli 2006 03:23 |
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=D6jevind L=E5ng wrote:
> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete sense
> of humour. One never reads of a Balrog who offered Saruman an exploding
> cigar or slapped Gandalf on the back and told thim a story about two
> Irishmen called Pat and Mike.
that's because *our* sense of humour actually has some subtlety.
>They were no fun at all at parties, useful
> only for setting fire to the plum pudding at Christmas. One suspects their
> present-day descendants are low-level civil servants.
that is a slander of horus-engelsian magnitude. we are severely
displeased at this insult!
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300455 ] |
So, 16 Juli 2006 06:54 |
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Öjevind Lång wrote:
> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete sense
> of humour. One never reads of a Balrog who offered Saruman an exploding
> cigar or slapped Gandalf on the back and told thim a story about two
> Irishmen called Pat and Mike. They were no fun at all at parties, useful
> only for setting fire to the plum pudding at Christmas. One suspects their
> present-day descendants are low-level civil servants.
A repost:
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.tolkien/msg/fe0df4cfd fc86353
O'Neill Quigley wrote:
>Phlip <new_em... [at] see.web.page> wrote in article
><6vekc0$... [at] chronicle.concentric.net>...
>> Iain Singer wrote: This newsgroup cannot provide comfort for those who
>> would argue about absolute truth even when tricked into debating about
>> whether Balrogs have balls.
>Slime-covered balls....
Under water, yes. But in air you get:
--> Great Balls of Fire <--
--
Phlip
http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?ZeekLand <-- NOT a blog!!!
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300457 ] |
So, 16 Juli 2006 07:17 |
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Öjevind Lång wrote:
> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete sense
> of humour.
And again:
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.books.tolkien/msg/f5 c534bd0e4fba4c
The question was raised whether Durin's Bane slept during the millenia, or
lurked awake.
Michael Martinez wrote:
> What would a Balrog think about in its cave,
> passing away the millenia?
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves...
"Kill dwarves..."
--
Phlip
http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?ZeekLand <-- NOT a blog!!!
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300483 ] |
So, 16 Juli 2006 23:20 |
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* Öjevind Lång wrote:
> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete sense
> of humour.
Not at all. Balrogs had a sense of humor... it just wasn't a very pleasant
one. :]
"Then the Lord of Hell lying-hearted
to where Hurin hung hastened swiftly,
and the Balrogs about him brazen-handed
with flails of flame and forged iron
there laughed as they looked on his lonely woe;"
LoB, The Lay of the Children of Hurin (second version)
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300487 ] |
Mo, 17 Juli 2006 00:16 |
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=D6jevind L=E5ng wrote:
> One suspects their present-day descendants are low-level civil servants.
Do you doubt it? After all, can there be a better position to occupy=20
if your desire is to inflict refined torture upon large numbers of vile=20
mortals?
regards,
Cadwalader Balrog-Humphries
Acting Director=20
The Valaurakar Institute
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300490 ] |
Mo, 17 Juli 2006 00:35 |
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Cadwalader Balrog-Humphries wrote:
Öjevind Lång wrote:
> > One suspects their present-day descendants are low-level civil
> > servants.
> Do you doubt it? After all, can there be a better position to occupy
> if your desire is to inflict refined torture upon large numbers of vile
> mortals?
Reality TV show producers?
--
Phlip
http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?ZeekLand <-- NOT a blog!!!
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300493 ] |
Mo, 17 Juli 2006 01:00 |
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Conrad Dunkerson <conrad.dunkerson [at] att.net> wrote:
> * Öjevind Lång wrote:
>> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete
>> sense of humour.
>
> Not at all. Balrogs had a sense of humor... it just wasn't a very
> pleasant one. :]
>
> "Then the Lord of Hell lying-hearted
> to where Hurin hung hastened swiftly,
> and the Balrogs about him brazen-handed
> with flails of flame and forged iron
> there laughed as they looked on his lonely woe;"
> LoB, The Lay of the Children of Hurin (second version)
I always thought there was some humour inherent in the "dragged him to
Angband with mockery" scene when Hurin is captured at the end of the
Nirnaeth Arnoediad. When you mock someone, you often laugh at them.
Though the mockery could have been of the more evil kind, I tend to
think that would be taking Hurin too seriously. Balrogs laughing at him
would seem more appropriate.
Christopher
--
---
Reply clue: Saruman welcomes you to Spamgard
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #300507 ] |
Mo, 17 Juli 2006 05:17 |
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Conrad Dunkerson wrote:
> * =D6jevind L=E5ng wrote:
> > The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete se=
nse
> > of humour.
>
> Not at all. Balrogs had a sense of humor... it just wasn't a very pleasant
> one. :]
>
> "Then the Lord of Hell lying-hearted
> to where Hurin hung hastened swiftly,
> and the Balrogs about him brazen-handed
> with flails of flame and forged iron
> there laughed as they looked on his lonely woe;"
> LoB, The Lay of the Children of Hurin (second version)
what's so unpleasant about that? i find it charming. probably they
thought of him as a beloved pet.
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #303233 ] |
Mo, 17 Juli 2006 19:26 |
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"Larry Swain" <theswain [at] operamail.com> skrev i meddelandet
news:UoKdnUjoSbcLHyTZnZ2dnUVZ_t2dnZ2d [at] rcn.net...
> Öjevind Lång wrote:
>> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete
>> sense of humour. One never reads of a Balrog who offered Saruman an
>> exploding cigar or slapped Gandalf on the back and told thim a story
>> about two Irishmen called Pat and Mike. They were no fun at all at
>> parties, useful only for setting fire to the plum pudding at Christmas.
>> One suspects their present-day descendants are low-level civil servants.
>>
> Although there was that one in the HoME series in v. XI that told the Olaf
> and Sven story.....
Oh, yes - about the two Swedes who tried to get initiated into the Lossoth
community.
Öjevind
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #303243 ] |
Mo, 17 Juli 2006 21:30 |
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"Öjevind Lång" <bredband.net [at] ojevind.lang> wrote in message
news:4ht8h5F166jsU1 [at] individual.net...
> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete sense
> of humour. One never reads of a Balrog who offered Saruman an exploding
> cigar or slapped Gandalf on the back and told thim a story about two
> Irishmen called Pat and Mike. They were no fun at all at parties, useful
> only for setting fire to the plum pudding at Christmas. One suspects their
> present-day descendants are low-level civil servants.
Hmmm, methinks you've never been present at a civil service
Christmas party <g>
(it's the upper levels who have no sense of humour)
--
Jette Goldie
jette [at] blueyonder.co.uk
http://www.jette.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
("reply to" is spamblocked)
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #303251 ] |
Mo, 17 Juli 2006 21:59 |
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Jette Goldie wrote:
> "Öjevind Lång" <bredband.net [at] ojevind.lang> wrote in message
> news:4ht8h5F166jsU1 [at] individual.net...
>
>>The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete sense
>>of humour. One never reads of a Balrog who offered Saruman an exploding
>>cigar or slapped Gandalf on the back and told thim a story about two
>>Irishmen called Pat and Mike. They were no fun at all at parties, useful
>>only for setting fire to the plum pudding at Christmas. One suspects their
>>present-day descendants are low-level civil servants.
>
>
>
> Hmmm, methinks you've never been present at a civil service
> Christmas party <g>
>
> (it's the upper levels who have no sense of humour)
>
>
I'm beginning to have visions of Screwtape Proposes a Toast
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #303257 ] |
Di, 18 Juli 2006 00:00 |
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Cadwalader Balrog-Humphries wrote:
> =D6jevind L=E5ng wrote:
> > One suspects their present-day descendants are low-level civil servants.
>
> Do you doubt it? After all, can there be a better position to occupy
> if your desire is to inflict refined torture upon large numbers of vile
> mortals?
>
> regards,
>
> Cadwalader Balrog-Humphries
> Acting Director
> The Valaurakar Institute
Torture? Torture? You defame the finest group of beings outside
Luxembourg. But you, happily dancing samba with the enemies of promise,
decency, archery and philately, choose to disregard the fact because
someone has bribed you. Who? Of that, let us not speak. Trotskyites and
the Fourth International are probably involved, but it is not safe to
mention such matters.
Horus Engels
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #303262 ] |
Di, 18 Juli 2006 02:15 |
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hengels wrote:
> decency, archery and philately
Zealous spellchecking, or did you actually mean "stamp collecting"?
--
Phlip
http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?ZeekLand <-- NOT a blog!!!
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #303266 ] |
Di, 18 Juli 2006 03:49 |
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hengels [at] swirve.com wrote:
> Cadwalader Balrog-Humphries wrote:
> > =D6jevind L=E5ng wrote:
> > > One suspects their present-day descendants are low-level civil servan=
ts.
> >
> > Do you doubt it? After all, can there be a better position to occupy
> > if your desire is to inflict refined torture upon large numbers of vile
> > mortals?
> >
> > regards,
> >
> > Cadwalader Balrog-Humphries
> > Acting Director
> > The Valaurakar Institute
>
> Torture? Torture? You defame the finest group of beings outside
> Luxembourg. But you, happily dancing samba with the enemies of promise,
> decency, archery and philately, choose to disregard the fact because
> someone has bribed you. Who? Of that, let us not speak. Trotskyites and
> the Fourth International are probably involved, but it is not safe to
> mention such matters.
Dancing the samba certainly is evil if you don't take dancing lessons
from FATS dance videos.
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #303271 ] |
Di, 18 Juli 2006 06:23 |
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"Phlip" <phlipcpp [at] yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:9KVug.49965$VE1.26824 [at] newssvr14.news.prodigy.com...
> hengels wrote:
>
> > decency, archery and philately
>
> Zealous spellchecking, or did you actually mean "stamp collecting"?
>
> --
> Phlip
Whoa, is *that* what that means?? I guess we're going to have to stop
accusing Grandpa of it.
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #303276 ] |
Di, 18 Juli 2006 09:54 |
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On Sun, 16 Jul 2006 23:00:12 GMT, "Christopher Kreuzer"
<spamgard [at] blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
>I always thought there was some humour inherent in the "dragged him to
>Angband with mockery" scene when Hurin is captured at the end of the
>Nirnaeth Arnoediad. When you mock someone, you often laugh at them.
>Though the mockery could have been of the more evil kind, I tend to
>think that would be taking Hurin too seriously. Balrogs laughing at him
>would seem more appropriate.
Why not just imagine that Gothmog taunted Hurin with his own words?
'Aure entuluva! Day shall come again!'
Morgoth's Curse
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #304480 ] |
Fr, 21 Juli 2006 14:20 |
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? "Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III" <pseudonimofaqhater [at] yahoo.com.br> ??????
??? ?????? news:1153187369.167612.120280 [at] 35g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
hengels [at] swirve.com wrote:
> Cadwalader Balrog-Humphries wrote:
> > Öjevind Lång wrote:
> > > One suspects their present-day descendants are low-level civil
servants.
> >
> > Do you doubt it? After all, can there be a better position to occupy
> > if your desire is to inflict refined torture upon large numbers of vile
> > mortals?
> >
> > regards,
> >
> > Cadwalader Balrog-Humphries
> > Acting Director
> > The Valaurakar Institute
>
> Torture? Torture? You defame the finest group of beings outside
> Luxembourg. But you, happily dancing samba with the enemies of promise,
> decency, archery and philately, choose to disregard the fact because
> someone has bribed you. Who? Of that, let us not speak. Trotskyites and
> the Fourth International are probably involved, but it is not safe to
> mention such matters.
>Dancing the samba certainly is evil if you don't take >dancing lessons
>from FATS dance videos.
What, those FAT 32 guys that dance on hard platters:-)If you defrag them,
they dance so fast that you can't see them.
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| Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs [message #304484 ] |
Fr, 21 Juli 2006 17:44 |
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On Sun, 16 Jul 2006 00:28:48 +0200, Öjevind Lång wrote:
> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete sense
> of humour.
Oh. I thought perhaps a "Seriousity" was a collective noun for Balrogs.
--
Burúmë
Tabby Cat recieves 1 from Hare because she gave him supper.
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| Collective nouns (was Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs) [message #304527 ] |
So, 23 Juli 2006 21:27 |
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Burúmë" <"burúmë <"burúmë" [at] example.com> wrote:
> On Sun, 16 Jul 2006 00:28:48 +0200, Öjevind Lång wrote:
>
>> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete
>> sense of humour.
>
> Oh. I thought perhaps a "Seriousity" was a collective noun for
> Balrogs.
LOL! That is a great idea. There probably is a collective noun for
Dragons already, but what about other M-e creatures?
Collective nouns please for the following:
Balrogs (seriousity)
Hobbits
Dwarves
Men
Elves
Ents
Maiar
Istari
Valar
Fell beasts
Orcs
Trolls
Dragons
Tolkien fans :-)
Christopher
--
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Reply clue: Saruman welcomes you to Spamgard
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| Re: Collective nouns (was Re: The Seriosity of Balrogs) [message #304536 ] |
Mo, 24 Juli 2006 04:36 |
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Christopher Kreuzer wrote:
> Bur=FAm=EB" <"bur=FAm=EB <"bur=FAm=EB" [at] example.com> wrote:
> > On Sun, 16 Jul 2006 00:28:48 +0200, =D6jevind L=E5ng wrote:
> >
> >> The most terrible thing about the balrogs is probably their complete
> >> sense of humour.
> >
> > Oh. I thought perhaps a "Seriousity" was a collective noun for
> > Balrogs.
>
> LOL! That is a great idea. There probably is a collective noun for
> Dragons already, but what about other M-e creatures?
>
> Collective nouns please for the following:
>
> Balrogs (seriousity)
we actually prefer "conflagration."
> Hobbits
i usually use "bevy," but if there's a collective for rats it might be
more appropriate. although hobbits do taste better.
> Dwarves
infestation
> Men
> Elves
a poncy of elves.
> Ents
> Maiar
> Istari
> Valar
> Fell beasts
> Orcs
since orcs are communists, what about "cell" or "kollektiv"?
> Trolls
a usenet of trolls
> Dragons
somewhere i read that the collecive noun is "weyr."
> Tolkien fans :-)
a lunacy
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