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Miscellaneous / Verschiedenes » alt.fan.james-bond » (semi-OT) David Blaine's next stunt
| (semi-OT) David Blaine's next stunt [message #266723] |
Sa, 13 Mai 2006 21:48 |
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Press Release
13 May 2006
International News Corp
++++++++++++++++++
(New York) Street magician/illusionist extraordinaire David Blaine
held a press conference today announcing his next death-defying stunt.
Blaine has already survived being buried alive, being frozen in a
block of ice, hanging suspended in a glass cube for 44 days, and his
most recent feat of endurance: holding his breath for 7 minutes 8
seconds while escaping from chains after living immersed in a giant
fish bowl for a week. He fell short of the world record of 8 minutes
58 seconds for breath-holding and many insiders expected him to
announce a second try.
"My next feat of endurance will be my most difficult yet," Blaine
explained. "No, I will not attempt to break the breath-holding record
again. I have decided to try something even more dangerous. I will
attempt to watch the 1980's James Bond movies back-to-back in a
non-stop marathon viewing session."
Are those the 007 films directed by John Glen?
"Indeed they are," Blaine continued. "I will begin with FOR YOUR EYES
ONLY, the agonizingly boring film that kicked off this dreary decade of
double oh seven films. Next, OCTOPUSSY -- riddled with some of the
most insulting and out-of-place humor ever to be encountered in the spy
film genre. Then, in what may be the crucial stage of the marathon, I
will tackle A VIEW TO A KILL which is largely considered to be the
worst film of the 20th century. If I survive, then its on to the
Timothy Dalton features."
Who?
"Timothy Dalton", Blaine repeated. "He played Bond after Roger Moore
and before Pierce Brosnan. With THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS it will be a
fierce struggle to follow the overly-convoluted plot containing the
weakest pair of villains ever to grace a 007 film. Then, finally, I'll
attempt to make it through LICENSE TO KILL. It's third-rate
production values and pitiful supporting cast (except Davi, of course)
will be a severe test to my movie watching ability."
What are the risks?
"I'll let my personal physician go over this," Blair responded as his
doctor took the stage. "David will be hooked up to medical monitoring
equipment at all times," his doctor stated. "We will continuously
monitor his heart rate, blood pressure, and body temperature. The
greatest threat comes from the risk of a coma, brought on by boredom
from FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, the sheer stupidity of some of the OCTOPUSSY &
A VIEW TO A KILL scenes, and the inability to accept Dalton as a suave,
womanizing, witty superspy. In non-medical terms, David's brain may
try to shut down."
What will you do if David appears to be near death?
"We are prepared to intervene at any moment", Blaine's doctor answered.
"We have a cut-over mechanism in place whereby we can stop the current
dvd and switch the signal feed to a back-up dvd player which will be
pre-loaded with good Bond films, such as DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, THE SPY
WHO LOVED ME, MOONRAKER, and DIE ANOTHER DAY. These films are filled
with so much style, wit, humor, charm, and excitement that hopefully
David would be able to pull out of a coma. But there are no
guarantees. I've tried to talk David out of attempting this stunt, but
he wouldn't listen."
Is there anything else you'd like to say?
"Yes," Blaine added. "Do not attempt this stunt at home! I'm a
trained professional endurance specialist and even I may not be able to
survive this one."
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| Re: (semi-OT) David Blaine's next stunt [message #266740 ] |
So, 14 Mai 2006 18:16 |
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"Mike Feeney" <stromberg77 [at] sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:1147549736.354043.200340 [at] j73g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> Press Release
> 13 May 2006
> International News Corp
> ++++++++++++++++++
> (New York) Street magician/illusionist extraordinaire David Blaine
> held a press conference today announcing his next death-defying stunt.
> Blaine has already survived being buried alive, being frozen in a
> block of ice, hanging suspended in a glass cube for 44 days, and his
> most recent feat of endurance: holding his breath for 7 minutes 8
> seconds while escaping from chains after living immersed in a giant
> fish bowl for a week. He fell short of the world record of 8 minutes
> 58 seconds for breath-holding and many insiders expected him to
> announce a second try.
<Snip>
BRILLIANT!
Mike, you are a satirical genius. I'm sincerious.
Tom Zielinski
"...Bond's eyes narrowed. He knew, at some point, he would have to slay this
particular dragon. He settled back in his chair, removing a Morlands' three
ring special from the gunmetal cigarette case. As he waited for the
delicious Balkan/Turkish blend to take effect on his lungs, he reflected
that he was rooting for the water during the last Blaine ego-fest ..."
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| Re: (semi-OT) David Blaine's next stunt [message #266742 ] |
So, 14 Mai 2006 19:37 |
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Mike Feeney wrote:
> "My next feat of endurance will be my most difficult yet," Blaine
> explained. "No, I will not attempt to break the breath-holding record
> again. I have decided to try something even more dangerous. I will
> attempt to watch the 1980's James Bond movies back-to-back in a
> non-stop marathon viewing session."
*dies of laughter*
That was awesome :D
Absorb
------------------------------------------------------------ --------------
If you start now and save $30 a week until Nov. 17th, you will have
enough for the PS3 and two games.
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| Re: (semi-OT) David Blaine's next stunt [message #266751 ] |
Mo, 15 Mai 2006 02:24 |
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"Mike Feeney" <stromberg77 [at] sbcglobal.net> said:
>"Indeed they are," Blaine continued. "I will begin with FOR YOUR EYES
>ONLY, the agonizingly boring film that kicked off this dreary decade of
>double oh seven films. Next, OCTOPUSSY -- riddled with some of the
>most insulting and out-of-place humor ever to be encountered in the spy
>film genre. Then, in what may be the crucial stage of the marathon, I
>will tackle A VIEW TO A KILL which is largely considered to be the
>worst film of the 20th century. If I survive, then its on to the
>Timothy Dalton features."
What a wimp. If he were a REAL daredevil, he'd start one film sooner.
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| Re: (semi-OT) David Blaine's next stunt [message #271281 ] |
Sa, 20 Mai 2006 14:34 |
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LOL
-- Mac
"James Bond. You appear with the tedious inevitability of a
signature equivalent of a DIE HARD rip-off."
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