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Fantasy » alt.fan.harry-potter » Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus"
| Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #253859] |
Mo, 01 Mai 2006 22:21 |
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May 1, 2006 - London, England
Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus!" in a recent news
conference. The 16 year old wizard and Hogwarts student also added
"Not only that, I'll outlive him and do more good in the world than he
ever thought possible!"
Needless to say, religious leaders across the globe are fuming and
staging a "Harry burning" in many different locations. Pope Benedict
XVI stated in his Sunday sermon, "Bring your Harry Potter books, DVDs,
and other paraphernalia to St. Peter's Basilica on Sunday, May 7th for
a massive Holy burning and cleansing to rid our world of Harry Potter
and his devil demeanor!" He also added, "Marshmallows and hot dogs
will be provided for toasting." [ed. Thank you to Rev. Hans Schniztler
for the translation.]
When asked for a comment, J.K. Rowling simply stated, "I apologize so
sincerely for creating such a wretched character. I had no idea that
he would get such a huge head and let this whole 'fame' thing get to
him." She declined any further comment presently.
We tracked Mr. Potter down for a comment today and he tried to refute
his previous statement with, "I'm not saying that I'm better or greater
or comparing myself with Jesus Christ as a person or God as a thing or
whatever it is. I wasn't saying whatever they're saying I was saying.
I'm sorry I said it really. I never meant it to be a lousy
anti-religious thing. I apologize if that will make you happy. I
still don't know quite what I've done. I've tried to tell you what I
did do but if you want me to apologize, if that will make you happy,
then OK, I'm sorry."
Cardinal George of Chicago has said this morning about Mr. Potter's
rebuttal, "Be that as it may, Harry Potter is still out of control! We
believe that it's time to put an end to such a defamation of not only
our Lord, but Jesus Christ. Amen." Amen indeed.
The KKK is planning to stage a protest when the next movie, Harry
Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, comes out in theaters. "We have
quite a demonstration planned for every major theater in the world!"
warned an anonymous KKK leader. He added, "Although it's about a year
away, we will not forget!"
To find details on times and locations near you for Harry burnings,
please visit your local church, temple, or mosque.
-- British Associated Press
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| Re: Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #253871 ] |
Mo, 01 Mai 2006 23:43 |
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"TheNomadicSoul" <thenomadicsoul [at] aol.com> wrote in message
news:1146514892.629093.139690 [at] j33g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> May 1, 2006 - London, England
<snip>
You sure that wasn't April 1?
--
Deevo
Geraldton Western Australia
http://members.westnet.com.au/mckenzie/index.htm
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| Re: Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #253879 ] |
Di, 02 Mai 2006 01:10 |
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TheNomadicSoul wrote:
> May 1, 2006 - London, England
>
> Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus!"
It's "I'm bigger than Jesus", dumbass.
If you gonna steal from John Lennon, get it right.
Catherine Johnson.
--
fenm at cox dot net
"I'm the impish officer of death."
-Mike Nelson, _Mystery Science Theater 3000_.
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| Re: Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #253907 ] |
Di, 02 Mai 2006 03:27 |
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Fish Eye no Miko wrote:
> TheNomadicSoul wrote:
>
> > May 1, 2006 - London, England
> >
> > Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus!"
>
> It's "I'm bigger than Jesus", dumbass.
> If you gonna steal from John Lennon, get it right.
>
> Catherine Johnson.
> --
> fenm at cox dot net
> "I'm the impish officer of death."
> -Mike Nelson, _Mystery Science Theater 3000_.
Ehm, actually, the quote from the Evening Standard interview in 1966
quotes Lennon as saying, "We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't
know which will go first-rock 'n' roll or Christianity. Jesus was all
right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it
that ruins it for me."
But if it comes to a fight of some sort, I'm still for Catherine based
purely on personal bias :-)
*scampers off*
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| Re: Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #253910 ] |
Di, 02 Mai 2006 06:59 |
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On 1 May 2006 13:21:32 -0700, "TheNomadicSoul"
<thenomadicsoul [at] aol.com> wrote:
>The KKK is planning to stage a protest when the next movie, Harry
>Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, comes out in theaters. "We have
>quite a demonstration planned for every major theater in the world!"
>warned an anonymous KKK leader. He added, "Although it's about a year
>away, we will not forget!"
Please tell me Snipers will be waiting for them.
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| Re: Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #253911 ] |
Di, 02 Mai 2006 07:00 |
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On Mon, 1 May 2006 16:10:06 -0700, "Fish Eye no Miko"
<fisheye [at] deadmoon.circus> wrote:
>TheNomadicSoul wrote:
>
>> May 1, 2006 - London, England
>>
>> Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus!"
>
>It's "I'm bigger than Jesus", dumbass.
>If you gonna steal from John Lennon, get it right.
>
>Catherine Johnson.
But is he bigger than the BSharps?
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| Re: Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #253932 ] |
Di, 02 Mai 2006 10:13 |
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"TheNomadicSoul" <thenomadicsoul [at] aol.com> wrote in
news:1146514892.629093.139690 [at] j33g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> May 1, 2006 - London, England
>
> Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus!" in a recent news
> conference. The 16 year old wizard and Hogwarts student also added
> "Not only that, I'll outlive him and do more good in the world than he
> ever thought possible!"
>
> Needless to say, religious leaders across the globe are fuming and
> staging a "Harry burning" in many different locations. Pope Benedict
> XVI stated in his Sunday sermon, "Bring your Harry Potter books, DVDs,
> and other paraphernalia to St. Peter's Basilica on Sunday, May 7th for
> a massive Holy burning and cleansing to rid our world of Harry Potter
> and his devil demeanor!" He also added, "Marshmallows and hot dogs
> will be provided for toasting." [ed. Thank you to Rev. Hans Schniztler
> for the translation.]
>
> When asked for a comment, J.K. Rowling simply stated, "I apologize so
> sincerely for creating such a wretched character. I had no idea that
> he would get such a huge head and let this whole 'fame' thing get to
> him." She declined any further comment presently.
>
> We tracked Mr. Potter down for a comment today and he tried to refute
> his previous statement with, "I'm not saying that I'm better or greater
> or comparing myself with Jesus Christ as a person or God as a thing or
> whatever it is. I wasn't saying whatever they're saying I was saying.
> I'm sorry I said it really. I never meant it to be a lousy
> anti-religious thing. I apologize if that will make you happy. I
> still don't know quite what I've done. I've tried to tell you what I
> did do but if you want me to apologize, if that will make you happy,
> then OK, I'm sorry."
>
> Cardinal George of Chicago has said this morning about Mr. Potter's
> rebuttal, "Be that as it may, Harry Potter is still out of control! We
> believe that it's time to put an end to such a defamation of not only
> our Lord, but Jesus Christ. Amen." Amen indeed.
>
> The KKK is planning to stage a protest when the next movie, Harry
> Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, comes out in theaters. "We have
> quite a demonstration planned for every major theater in the world!"
> warned an anonymous KKK leader. He added, "Although it's about a year
> away, we will not forget!"
>
> To find details on times and locations near you for Harry burnings,
> please visit your local church, temple, or mosque.
>
> -- British Associated Press
>
>
Stupid.. very stupid.. John Lennon said the same thing about the Beatles,
when on a sunday during a private chuch surmon for the band, he had to go
out to the balcony and ask the people outside shouting, to please be
quiet. Then during an interview, John was so dismayed at the people he
said, "it seems we are more popular that Jesus Christ", which resulted in
many Bibile thumping radio stations to hold "beatles burnings".. and
record breakings.
I guess some people are just stupid. (and it isn't the one making the
comment about being more popular than Jesus.)
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| Re: Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #253940 ] |
Di, 02 Mai 2006 12:05 |
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"Toon" <toon [at] toon.com> wrote in message
news:3ppd52t8jhchvupofooj7qls4qktp44dps [at] 4ax.com...
> On 1 May 2006 13:21:32 -0700, "TheNomadicSoul"
> <thenomadicsoul [at] aol.com> wrote:
>
>
>>The KKK is planning to stage a protest when the next movie, Harry
>>Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, comes out in theaters. "We have
>>quite a demonstration planned for every major theater in the world!"
>>warned an anonymous KKK leader. He added, "Although it's about a year
>>away, we will not forget!"
>
> Please tell me Snipers will be waiting for them.
With the royalties they're making from costume rental for the GOF movie why
would the buggers be complaining anyway?
--
Deevo
Geraldton Western Australia
http://members.westnet.com.au/mckenzie/index.htm
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| Re: Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #253984 ] |
Di, 02 Mai 2006 22:59 |
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TheNomadicSoul wrote:
Your attempt to remake "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion" is neither
convincing nor entertaining.
Regards,
John
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| Re: Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #253988 ] |
Mi, 03 Mai 2006 00:53 |
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Let's not be such grumps, gang. I thought it was funny!
John VanSickle wrote:
> TheNomadicSoul wrote:
>
> Your attempt to remake "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion" is neither
> convincing nor entertaining.
>
> Regards,
> John
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| Re: Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #253998 ] |
Mi, 03 Mai 2006 02:45 |
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Toon wrote:
> "Fish Eye no Miko" <fisheye [at] deadmoon.circus> wrote:
>> TheNomadicSoul wrote:
>>
>>> May 1, 2006 - London, England
>>> Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus!"
>>
>> It's "I'm bigger than Jesus", dumbass.
>> If you gonna steal from John Lennon, get it right.
>
> But is he bigger than the BSharps?
Ha! Nice.
Catherine Johnson. "There was noting in Al Capone's vault/But it wasn't
Geraldo's fault..."
--
fenm at cox dot net
"If the Earth Kingdom discovers us, they'll have us killed."
"But if the Fire Nation discovers us, we'll be turned over to Azula."
"Earth Kingdom it is."
--Zuko and Iroh, _Avatar: The Last Airbender_.
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| Re: Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus" [message #261852 ] |
Fr, 05 Mai 2006 01:34 |
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TheNomadicSoul wrote:
> May 1, 2006 - London, England
>
> Harry Potter declares "I am more popular than Jesus!" in a recent news
> conference. The 16 year old wizard and Hogwarts student also added
> "Not only that, I'll outlive him and do more good in the world than he
> ever thought possible!"
That's a misquote. The full and correct quotation is: "I am more
popular than Jesusss! Not only that, I'll outlive him and do more good
in the world than he ever thought possible, won't we, my preciousss!"
Harry said this while being interviewed over a meal of sushi where he
discarded all the "nassty rices", saying "All you need is fisssh.
Fissssh iss all you need." BTW, he seems to have been Disapparating a
lot lately, or least disappearing, especially when his cousins the
Sackville-Dursleys are around.
--
Alex Clark
I'm droll toad mover (an anagram rejected by Tom Riddle)
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