| Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #18860] |
Di, 19 April 2005 10:14 |
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Posting-Frequency: ~4 days (FAQs posted monthly)
Welcome to the Tolkien newsgroups! Our FAQs can be found at:
http://tolkien.slimy.com/
Even if you haven't read all of _The Hobbit_ and _The Lord of the
Rings_, you are welcome here, but be careful! Spoilers for the
stories can be anywhere... even in the subject line of a message!
To help you join our community as comfortably as possible, we do ask
that you read our Frequently Asked Questions lists before posting.
The FAQs discuss proper "netiquette" for participating in discussions
here, and also introduce the basics of our most frequent debates (the
main "Meta-FAQ" page lists the most "important" questions in bold).
Once again, welcome! We look forward to your participation.
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #240034 ] |
Mi, 15 März 2006 23:31 |
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In rec.arts.books.tolkien Steuard Jensen <sbjensen [at] midway.uchicago.edu> wrote:
> Once again, welcome! We look forward to your participation.
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #240035 ] |
Mi, 15 März 2006 23:35 |
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In rec.arts.books.tolkien Steuard Jensen <sbjensen [at] midway.uchicago.edu> wrote:
> Once again, welcome! We look forward to your participation.
I posted a reply by mistake and have cancelled it. Apologies for
the meaningless dribble.
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256602 ] |
Mi, 26 April 2006 23:36 |
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Steuard Jensen wrote:
> Posting-Frequency: ~4 days (FAQs posted monthly)
>
> Welcome to the Tolkien newsgroups! Our FAQs can be found at:
>
> http://tolkien.slimy.com/
This FAQ is full of shameful errors and lacunae. For the TRUTH about
Middle-earth, the ONLY definitive source is the works of the great
Prophet Morambar.
Here you will find the answers to questions undreamed of in the FAQ,
such as whether Orcs had webbed feet, whether Rohan represented France
under Napoleon III, how plate tectonics in Mordor relate to Tolkien's
views on the Iraq war, and where to buy the best cigars.
You will also learn the TRUTH about Eowyn's relationship to Merry and
the Witch-King, the TRUE answer to the question of Balrog Wigs, and the
TRUTH about Tom Morambadil's identity.
If you want to discover the TRUTH, call 1-900-PROPHET now!
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256608 ] |
Do, 27 April 2006 06:07 |
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Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> This FAQ is full of shameful errors and lacunae. For the TRUTH about
> Middle-earth, the ONLY definitive source is the works of the great
> Prophet Morambar.
>
> Here you will find the answers to questions undreamed of in the FAQ,
> such as whether Orcs had webbed feet, whether Rohan represented France
> under Napoleon III, how plate tectonics in Mordor relate to Tolkien's
> views on the Iraq war, and where to buy the best cigars.
The repulsive passage where Merry and Pippin are forced
to give foot-massages to march-weary Uruks is clearly
not written by Tolkien, you deceiptful decievers.
> You will also learn the TRUTH about Eowyn's relationship to Merry and
> the Witch-King, the TRUE answer to the question of Balrog Wigs, and the
> TRUTH about Tom Morambadil's identity.
Lies. All lies and bad research. Jsut like the infamous
Blogambar Diaries. Creations of a deluded mind, tey hare.
Morgil
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256609 ] |
Do, 27 April 2006 07:49 |
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Morgil wrote:
> The repulsive passage where Merry and Pippin are forced
> to give foot-massages to march-weary Uruks is clearly
> not written by Tolkien, you deceiptful decievers.
So?
> > You will also learn the TRUTH about Eowyn's relationship to Merry and
> > the Witch-King, the TRUE answer to the question of Balrog Wigs, and the
> > TRUTH about Tom Morambadil's identity.
>
> Lies. All lies and bad research. Jsut like the infamous
> Blogambar Diaries. Creations of a deluded mind, tey hare.
When we speak of bad research, what shall we say of yours, young
serpent?
Your hatchet-job on the Blogambar Diaries was clearly plagiarized from
that annoying Macdonalds ad.
And speaking of the Blogambar Diaries, you can buy them for a song by
logging in at www.thetruthoffats.com/buyourcrap.asp.
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256615 ] |
Do, 27 April 2006 19:22 |
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Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> Morgil wrote:
>>Lies. All lies and bad research. Jsut like the infamous
>>Blogambar Diaries. Creations of a deluded mind, tey hare.
>
>
> When we speak of bad research, what shall we say of yours, young
> serpent?
>
> Your hatchet-job on the Blogambar Diaries was clearly plagiarized from
> that annoying Macdonalds ad.
OUR Blogambar Diaries are the only genuine ones there is!
All fictious material like meetings with Tolkien in Iraq,
and the invention of the Ring-verse at the psychotic opera
ensamble, which you have added, will fool nobody, once we
release the original texts as *available for all* *free
on the internet* release. BWAHAH!
> And speaking of the Blogambar Diaries, you can buy them for a song by
> logging in at www.thetruthoffats.com/buyourcrap.asp.
You're gonna need a new cash-cow, cos that one is going DOWN!
(Proper authorities have been notified of the immoral contents)
Morgil
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256622 ] |
Fr, 28 April 2006 04:44 |
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Morgil wrote:
> Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> > Morgil wrote:
>
> > Your hatchet-job on the Blogambar Diaries was clearly plagiarized from
> > that annoying Macdonalds ad.
>
> OUR Blogambar Diaries are the only genuine ones there is!
> All fictious material like meetings with Tolkien in Iraq,
> and the invention of the Ring-verse at the psychotic opera
> ensamble, which you have added, will fool nobody, once we
> release the original texts as *available for all* *free
> on the internet* release. BWAHAH!
Of course they would be available for free. *Making stuff up* never
cost anything. Ours, on the other hand, required professional
researchers laboring day and night in the FATS Archives.
>
> > And speaking of the Blogambar Diaries, you can buy them for a song by
> > logging in at www.thetruthoffats.com/buyourcrap.asp.
>
> You're gonna need a new cash-cow, cos that one is going DOWN!
> (Proper authorities have been notified of the immoral contents)
Would "proper authorities" mean Harry the Hacker?
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256626 ] |
Fr, 28 April 2006 12:44 |
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Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> Morgil wrote:
>
>>Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
>>
>>>Morgil wrote:
>>
>
>>>Your hatchet-job on the Blogambar Diaries was clearly plagiarized from
>>>that annoying Macdonalds ad.
>>
>>OUR Blogambar Diaries are the only genuine ones there is!
>>All fictious material like meetings with Tolkien in Iraq,
>>and the invention of the Ring-verse at the psychotic opera
>>ensamble, which you have added, will fool nobody, once we
>>release the original texts as *available for all* *free
>>on the internet* release. BWAHAH!
>
>
> Of course they would be available for free. *Making stuff up* never
> cost anything. Ours, on the other hand, required professional
> researchers laboring day and night in the FATS Archives.
Your work does indeed look like something put together in 24 hours.
Our research team, on the other hand, has been on it for *years*.
Morgil
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256653 ] |
So, 30 April 2006 15:29 |
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Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III <pseudonimofaqhater [at] yahoo.com.br> wrote:
<snip>
> You will also learn [...] the TRUE answer to the question of
> Balrog Wigs [...]
Is that a typo, or did the Balrogs really have Wigs? :-)
PS. I forgot what FATS stands for...
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256681 ] |
Mo, 01 Mai 2006 00:46 |
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Morgil wrote:
> Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> > Of course they would be available for free. *Making stuff up* never
> > cost anything. Ours, on the other hand, required professional
> > researchers laboring day and night in the FATS Archives.
>
> Your work does indeed look like something put together in 24 hours.
> Our research team, on the other hand, has been on it for *years*.
Oh, you call that "research," do you? Ha ha. As if true scholarship
hadn't clearly proven that Feanor's toenails were green.
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256682 ] |
Mo, 01 Mai 2006 00:47 |
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Steuard Jensen wrote:
> Posting-Frequency: ~4 days (FAQs posted monthly)
>
> Welcome to the Tolkien newsgroups! Our FAQs can be found at:
>
> http://tolkien.slimy.com/
If you have nothing new to contribute to this discussion, be silent!
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256683 ] |
Mo, 01 Mai 2006 00:53 |
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Christopher Kreuzer wrote:
> Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III <pseudonimofaqhater [at] yahoo.com.br> wrote:
>
> <snip>
>
> > You will also learn [...] the TRUE answer to the question of
> > Balrog Wigs [...]
>
> Is that a typo, or did the Balrogs really have Wigs? :-)
They most certainly did. Thus spake Morambar in the Book of Unanswered
Questions:
"And the Balrogs were balded by the curse of the Valar, and they did
looken at themselves in the mirror, and sore embarrassed were they.
Then they bethought them of toup=E9es, that they might cover their
baldness in shadow, and getten unto themselves more popularity among
the females" (I.xii:1a/3.4).
> PS. I forgot what FATS stands for...
Fredonian Academy of Tolkien Studies. Unfortunately, our website was
bombarded by FAQqist terrorists, or I'd post a link.
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256689 ] |
Mo, 01 Mai 2006 13:17 |
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Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> Steuard Jensen wrote:
>
>>Posting-Frequency: ~4 days (FAQs posted monthly)
>>
>>Welcome to the Tolkien newsgroups! Our FAQs can be found at:
>>
>> http://tolkien.slimy.com/
>
>
> If you have nothing new to contribute to this discussion, be silent!
How dare, you vermin, crawl here from under the rock or whatever
you were under, and slambast the noblest spirits of these groups!
You pay, don't think you won't pay...
Morgil
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256705 ] |
Mo, 01 Mai 2006 21:17 |
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Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> Steuard Jensen wrote:
>> Posting-Frequency: ~4 days (FAQs posted monthly)
> If you have nothing new to contribute to this discussion, be
> silent!
ROFL!
Glad I'm already a member.
T.
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256706 ] |
Mo, 01 Mai 2006 21:22 |
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Taemon <Taemon [at] zonnet.nl> wrote:
> Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
>
>> Steuard Jensen wrote:
>>> Posting-Frequency: ~4 days (FAQs posted monthly)
>> If you have nothing new to contribute to this discussion, be
>> silent!
>
> ROFL!
That was funny, wasn't it! Someone should send a link to Steuard.
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256712 ] |
Di, 02 Mai 2006 01:18 |
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Quoth "Christopher Kreuzer" <spamgard [at] blueyonder.co.uk> in article
<Zdt5g.62622$wl.30602 [at] text.news.blueyonder.co.uk>:
> > Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> >> Steuard Jensen wrote:
> >>> Posting-Frequency: ~4 days (FAQs posted monthly)
> >> If you have nothing new to contribute to this discussion, be
> >> silent!
> That was funny, wasn't it! Someone should send a link to Steuard.
Good idea. Who should send it?
(I'm still very busy in real life, but I'm at least occasionally
keeping track of what's going on here, if not the long threads.
Meanwhile, in real life, I'm expecting to graduate with my PhD this
summer, and I'll be a (visiting) professor of physics at the Claremont
Colleges in California next fall. Yay!)
Steuard Jensen
P.S. I'll _try_ to stay out of this discussion in the future, but if
the argument keeps up for many more days I may not be able to hold my
tongue.
P.P.S. Something about all this reminds me of Conrad's comment the
first time I went on a trip after setting up these timed postings:
"Look! It's 'Auto-Steuard'. Even when he's not here his spirit is
with us. :)"
-- Conrad Dunkerson, 24 Dec 2001
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256714 ] |
Di, 02 Mai 2006 03:43 |
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Morgil wrote:
> Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> > Steuard Jensen wrote:
> >
> >>Posting-Frequency: ~4 days (FAQs posted monthly)
> >>
> >>Welcome to the Tolkien newsgroups! Our FAQs can be found at:
> >>
> >> http://tolkien.slimy.com/
> >
> >
> > If you have nothing new to contribute to this discussion, be silent!
>
> How dare, you vermin, crawl here from under the rock or whatever
> you were under, and slambast the noblest spirits of these groups!
> You pay, don't think you won't pay...
Were we not discussing our scholarly credentials? True scholars do not
threaten other scholars or engage in vile personal attacks upon them.
Such conduct is, however, to be expected of Jensen's hitmen.
And FYI: Jellyfish do not crawl.
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256715 ] |
Di, 02 Mai 2006 04:38 |
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Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> Were we not discussing our scholarly credentials? True scholars do not
> threaten other scholars or engage in vile personal attacks upon them.
> Such conduct is, however, to be expected of Jensen's hitmen.
i hate to intrude on this elevated colloquy, but ...
you call yourself a SCHOLAR?
i heard that you plagiarised most of your dissertation on tolkien's
earwax from a disney short.
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| Re: Welcome! FAQs and important information. [message #256732 ] |
Mi, 03 Mai 2006 20:10 |
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Count Menelvagor wrote:
> Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
>
> > Were we not discussing our scholarly credentials? True scholars do not
> > threaten other scholars or engage in vile personal attacks upon them.
> > Such conduct is, however, to be expected of Jensen's hitmen.
>
> i hate to intrude on this elevated colloquy, but ...
>
> you call yourself a SCHOLAR?
>
> i heard that you plagiarised most of your dissertation on tolkien's
> earwax from a disney short.
Well, *that* certainly raises the level of discourse around here!
You're just jealous because Shelob preferred my advances to yours. But
that's your own fault; you should have bought Morambar's Guide to
Seduction.
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