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Science Fiction » alt.fan.douglas-adams » Towels
Towels [message #190868] Mo, 02 Januar 2006 14:12
goosnargh  
[Not sure if this link has been posted before]

http://www.universaltowels.com/

"Buy any three towels from our extensive range
and get a free pair of Joo Janta 200 Super
Chromatic Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses."
Re: Towels [message #190869 ] Mo, 02 Januar 2006 17:47
Notifier Deamon  
Post removed (X-No-Archive: yes)
Re: Towels [message #190871 ] Mo, 02 Januar 2006 21:24
Jamie Yardley  
"the Swampster" <goosnargh [at] xs4all.nl> wrote in message
news:43b926c6$0$11069$e4fe514c [at] news.xs4all.nl...
> [Not sure if this link has been posted before]
>
> http://www.universaltowels.com/
>
> "Buy any three towels from our extensive range
> and get a free pair of Joo Janta 200 Super
> Chromatic Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses."

Have just sent off the following query to Universal Towels....

"
Due to the instability of the plural regions, I find myself on a version of
the earth which has not been destroyed to make way for a hyperspatial
bypass.

Bearing in mind the nature of this temporal anomaly is it possible for a
towel to be purchased in your Earth store at this point on the probability
axis for the period of time that I am here (which should be around three
Earth months - Iwill be leaving around that time as I hear of Eddies in the
space time continuum and he owes me lunch)"

I await the reply...

Jamie Yardley
Re: Towels [message #190872 ] Mo, 02 Januar 2006 21:25
Jamie Yardley  
"Jamie Yardley" <jamie [at] yardley00.wanadoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:dpc25r$o5b$1 [at] news8.svr.pol.co.uk...
>
> "the Swampster" <goosnargh [at] xs4all.nl> wrote in message
> news:43b926c6$0$11069$e4fe514c [at] news.xs4all.nl...
>> [Not sure if this link has been posted before]
>>
>> http://www.universaltowels.com/
>>
>> "Buy any three towels from our extensive range
>> and get a free pair of Joo Janta 200 Super
>> Chromatic Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses."
>
> Have just sent off the following query to Universal Towels....
>
> "
> Due to the instability of the plural regions, I find myself on a version
> of the earth which has not been destroyed to make way for a hyperspatial
> bypass.
>
> Bearing in mind the nature of this temporal anomaly is it possible for a
> towel to be purchased in your Earth store at this point on the probability
> axis for the period of time that I am here (which should be around three
> Earth months - Iwill be leaving around that time as I hear of Eddies in
> the space time continuum and he owes me lunch)"
>
> I await the reply...
>
HAve now received the following reply...

"Dear life form,

Thank you for taking the time out from your hectic and exciting
hitch-hiking lifestyle to contact us about our superb range of
Universal Towelware. In an uncertain universe, where hideous and
threateningly-moist dangers lie in wait for the unwary and
under-prepared traveller, we are honoured that you have chosen us to
provide the most vital piece of equipment that an adventurer could
ever require. Alpha-Plus-certified across the safety departments of
three hundred and eighteen different galactic councils, rated "Pick Of
The Year" seventy-three times by What Absorber? Magazine, the
Universal range is suited to those travellers that want - no, *demand*
- the very best. Travellers like you. Whom we're here for. You.

And we're happy to say that once our current service backlog is
cleared, (you are currently 1.845*10^25 in the queue - estimated wait
time 17,348 galactic standard rotations) we will be proud, honoured
and perhaps even slightly flushed to serve you, whether it is in this
life or, far more likely, one of your future ones. (Please do not
bother to contact us again before that time.)

Until then - Stay Dry And Hoopy! (TM)"



Curious.....

Ah well

maybe in the next life (or perhaps the nth one)

Tea, anyone?

Jamie Yardley
Re: Towels [message #202384 ] So, 15 Januar 2006 05:28
ted.mcguire  
All I want to do is BUY SOME OF THE BLOODY TOWELS. Do you have any idea
the towel shortage going on in Iraq??? Its absolutley horrendous. Now
that I find a great towel to replace my existing Army Issue Brown Towel
(the Tuff Towel) I can't find anywhere to buy the bleddin' thing. Where
can I get some of these????
Re: Towels [message #202386 ] So, 15 Januar 2006 07:43
Tian  
ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
> All I want to do is BUY SOME OF THE BLOODY TOWELS. Do you have any idea
> the towel shortage going on in Iraq??? Its absolutley horrendous. Now
> that I find a great towel to replace my existing Army Issue Brown Towel
> (the Tuff Towel) I can't find anywhere to buy the bleddin' thing. Where
> can I get some of these????
>
Ummm... email me your address and I'll mail you one of mine.
I've got plenty, and it'll be my good deed for the (time period).

--
Tian
Today I collected signatures at the Mendocino County Green Party
meeting in Philo. I've now gathered about 73 of the 150 signatures
I need to get on the California Green Party ballot as a Candidate
for US Senator. Also, you can hear my first interview at:
http://www.conscious-slaves.com/podcast/tian.mp3
Re: Towels [message #202389 ] So, 15 Januar 2006 09:41
Chancellor_Goth  
<ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil> wrote in message
news:1137299297.674798.300970 [at] g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> All I want to do is BUY SOME OF THE BLOODY TOWELS. Do you have any idea
> the towel shortage going on in Iraq??? Its absolutley horrendous.

Perhaps there wouldn't be a shortage if Iraqis didn't wear them on their
heads? ;-)


--
Chancellor Goth
"And yet the motives of women are so inscrutable . . . Their most trivial
action may mean volumes, or their most extraordinary conduct may depend upon
a hairpin or a curling-tongs." - Sherlock Holmes, "The Adventure of the
Second Stain".
Re: Towels [message #202390 ] So, 15 Januar 2006 12:41
ted.mcguire  
This is very true. Had I not been concerning myself with the latest
aspect of being in Iraq and having it unbearably cold and raining all
the time, I might have considered this. Here I am expecting heat and a
drought, and I get cold days and rain for a week. The rain is what
makes it terribly necessary to have a towel, by the way.

SGT Ted McGuire
Re: Towels [message #202391 ] So, 15 Januar 2006 13:00
Kaare Fiedler Christi  
Chancellor_Goth wrote:
> <ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil> wrote in message
> news:1137299297.674798.300970 [at] g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
>>All I want to do is BUY SOME OF THE BLOODY TOWELS. Do you have any idea
>>the towel shortage going on in Iraq??? Its absolutley horrendous.
>
>
> Perhaps there wouldn't be a shortage if Iraqis didn't wear them on their
> heads? ;-)

So what you're saying is Iraqis are really hoopy froods who REALLY know
where their towels are?

Best
Kåre
Re: Towels [message #202392 ] So, 15 Januar 2006 13:53
Chancellor_Goth  
"Kaare Fiedler Christiansen" <news [at] kaarefc.dk> wrote in message
news:43ca3952$0$2106$edfadb0f [at] dtext02.news.tele.dk...
> Chancellor_Goth wrote:
>> <ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil> wrote in message
>> news:1137299297.674798.300970 [at] g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>>
>>>All I want to do is BUY SOME OF THE BLOODY TOWELS. Do you have any idea
>>>the towel shortage going on in Iraq??? Its absolutley horrendous.
>>
>>
>> Perhaps there wouldn't be a shortage if Iraqis didn't wear them on their
>> heads? ;-)
>
> So what you're saying is Iraqis are really hoopy froods who REALLY know
> where their towels are?

Yeah :-D
They probably love Hagro Biscuit too!


--
Chancellor Goth
"And yet the motives of women are so inscrutable . . . Their most trivial
action may mean volumes, or their most extraordinary conduct may depend upon
a hairpin or a curling-tongs." - Sherlock Holmes, "The Adventure of the
Second Stain".
Re: Towels [message #204572 ] Di, 17 Januar 2006 01:07
Dave Adalian  
<ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil> wrote in message
news:1137325267.182527.82260 [at] o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
> This is very true. Had I not been concerning myself with the latest
> aspect of being in Iraq and having it unbearably cold and raining all
> the time, I might have considered this. Here I am expecting heat and a
> drought, and I get cold days and rain for a week. The rain is what
> makes it terribly necessary to have a towel, by the way.
>
> SGT Ted McGuire
>

It would probably be impolitic of me to point out that since the U.S.
invasion of Iraq is illegal under Nuremburg Principle VI (a)(i) and
Nuremburg Principle V makes it clear a member of an army engaged in an
illegal activity is obliged to refuse to participate in that illegal
activity or is then guilty of that same crime (see also Nuremburg Principle
VII), not only can you leave Iraq anytime you feel like, you're legally
obligated to do so. Oh well. I'll point it out anyway. Problem solved.
Still be nice to have a fluffy towel, too, I suppose.

-- Dave
http://starry-starry-nights.blogspot.com/
Re: Towels [message #204575 ] Di, 17 Januar 2006 12:31
ted.mcguire  
Well, despite the legal (or illegal) ramifications of my presence in
Iraq, that hardly bares any weight what so ever on the ensuing Iraqi
towel shortage and my absolute need and or want of the "Universal Tuff
Towel". However, since you brought it up, I will comment on this
information you have factually brought to light. Despite the legal (or
illegal) presence of the US Military within the sovereign nation of
Iraq..I..as a US soldier, who made an oath to follow the orders of
those appointed over me (an actual excerpt of that oath) have very
little control over the foreign policy and consequential invasions that
the United States finds itself taking part in. The President, (my
highest boss) gets paid $400,000 a year to make these decisions. It is
my voluntary obligation (which is further emphasized by a legal,
binding contract that the US Army changes to suit it's needs at any
time) to follow his directives for which I am paid
approximately...well, it doesn't really matter how little I make. Even
though we have our own opinions as to why we are in Iraq and to what
end....those opinions are of no consequence to the US Military or it's
leaders. Just rest well knowing that many of us don't want to be here
anymore than the insurgents want us to. However, due to the "deserter"
status that the US labels former soldiers who decide to leave a battle
any time they want to, I am not too inclined to just up and leave,
despite the thrill of adventure that naturally comes with being a
wanted fugitive, what with the press splashing your picture all over
the news and such, not to mention total lack of a ride home at the
moment.

Now, with all that said...I still am no closer to gaining possession of
a Universal (tm) Tuff Towel (tm also) which I cannot find anywhere.
..
Re: Towels [message #204579 ] Di, 17 Januar 2006 23:33
Chancellor_Goth  
"Dave Adalian" <dpalta AT comcast.net> wrote in message
news:oISdnd67Q42QqFHenZ2dnUVZ_vmdnZ2d [at] comcast.com...
> <ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil> wrote in message
> news:1137325267.182527.82260 [at] o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
>> This is very true. Had I not been concerning myself with the latest
>> aspect of being in Iraq and having it unbearably cold and raining all
>> the time, I might have considered this. Here I am expecting heat and a
>> drought, and I get cold days and rain for a week. The rain is what
>> makes it terribly necessary to have a towel, by the way.
>>
>> SGT Ted McGuire
>>
>
> It would probably be impolitic of me to point out that since the U.S.
> invasion of Iraq is illegal under Nuremburg Principle VI (a)(i) and
> Nuremburg Principle V makes it clear a member of an army engaged in an
> illegal activity is obliged to refuse to participate in that illegal
> activity or is then guilty of that same crime (see also Nuremburg
> Principle VII), not only can you leave Iraq anytime you feel like, you're
> legally obligated to do so. Oh well. I'll point it out anyway. Problem
> solved. Still be nice to have a fluffy towel, too, I suppose.

"Nuremberg Principle"? LOL. The UN charter allows certain resolutions to
be enforced with military force. It was under this chapter that the 17
resolutions were passed which Saddam was in breach of.

--
Chancellor Goth
"And yet the motives of women are so inscrutable . . . Their most trivial
action may mean volumes, or their most extraordinary conduct may depend upon
a hairpin or a curling-tongs." - Sherlock Holmes, "The Adventure of the
Second Stain".
Re: Towels [message #204582 ] Mi, 18 Januar 2006 05:05
ted.mcguire  
Really people, we could debate this all day (and night) with no
resolution what so ever. Despite everyone's opinions and interpretation
of this conflict, it really is a moot point. There are so many other
topics of discussion, especially with the upcoming 11th of May and the
subsequent 25th of May. I imagine it's really my fault for taughting my
military status so publicly, for which I apologize.

Now, if we could get back to the subject of Towels, and off the subject
of politics, which has absolutly nothing to do with why we joined this
forum in the first place, let alone anything to do with HHGTTG, it
would be greatly appreciated.
Re: Towels [message #204583 ] Mi, 18 Januar 2006 08:05
Tian  
ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
> Really people, we could debate this all day (and night) with no
> resolution what so ever. Despite everyone's opinions and interpretation
> of this conflict, it really is a moot point. There are so many other
> topics of discussion, especially with the upcoming 11th of May and the
> subsequent 25th of May. I imagine it's really my fault for taughting my
> military status so publicly, for which I apologize.
>
> Now, if we could get back to the subject of Towels, and off the subject
> of politics, which has absolutly nothing to do with why we joined this
> forum in the first place, let alone anything to do with HHGTTG, it
> would be greatly appreciated.
>
I give up.

--
Tian
Yesterday I collected signatures at the Martin Luther King Jr.
event in San Francisco. I've now gathered about 123 of the
150 signatures I need to get on the California Green Party
ballot as a Candidate for US Senator. You can find out more at:
http://tianharter.org
Re: Towels [message #204584 ] Mi, 18 Januar 2006 13:48
Jamie Yardley  
"Tian" <DontBeFuelish [at] aol.com48001041> wrote in message
news:dqkpbe$f8$1 [at] domitilla.aioe.org...
> ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
>> Really people, we could debate this all day (and night) with no
>> resolution what so ever. Despite everyone's opinions and interpretation
>> of this conflict, it really is a moot point. There are so many other
>> topics of discussion, especially with the upcoming 11th of May and the
>> subsequent 25th of May. I imagine it's really my fault for taughting my
>> military status so publicly, for which I apologize.
>>
>> Now, if we could get back to the subject of Towels, and off the subject
>> of politics, which has absolutly nothing to do with why we joined this
>> forum in the first place, let alone anything to do with HHGTTG, it
>> would be greatly appreciated.
>>
> I give up.
>
Hmm, what's it all about, really, when you get right down to it.

"I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are
so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is say hang the sense of it and
just keep yourself occupied."


Jamie Yardley

If ya can't beat them, beat them harder...
Re: Towels [message #204585 ] Mi, 18 Januar 2006 14:59
Kaare Fiedler Christi  
Tian wrote:
> ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
>
>> Really people, we could debate this all day (and night) with no
>> resolution what so ever. Despite everyone's opinions and interpretation
>> of this conflict, it really is a moot point. There are so many other
>> topics of discussion, especially with the upcoming 11th of May and the
>> subsequent 25th of May. I imagine it's really my fault for taughting my
>> military status so publicly, for which I apologize.
>>
>> Now, if we could get back to the subject of Towels, and off the subject
>> of politics, which has absolutly nothing to do with why we joined this
>> forum in the first place, let alone anything to do with HHGTTG, it
>> would be greatly appreciated.
>>
> I give up.
>
I'm sorry, I'm afraid giving up in a usenet discussion is illegal under
The Usenet Principles I (a)(i) and Usenet Principle II makes it clear
you are obliged to flame any participants in that discussion until one
of you calls the other one a Nazi (see also Usenet Principle III), so
not only can't you leave the discussion anytime you feel like, you're
legally obligated not to do so.

(Apologies to Dave, this is in no way meant as ridicule of you (in fact
I agree with you) but is merely meant as a humourous parody)

Best
Kåre
Re: Towels [message #204586 ] Mi, 18 Januar 2006 18:37
ted.mcguire  
So..really..about those Universal Towels...anyone know who carries the
towel pictured as the "Tuff Towel" in the universaltowels web site? It
has got to be a real towel, so who carries it??
Re: Towels [message #204587 ] Mi, 18 Januar 2006 19:00
Magnus Pedersen  
ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
> So..really..about those Universal Towels...anyone know who carries the
> towel pictured as the "Tuff Towel" in the universaltowels web site? It
> has got to be a real towel, so who carries it??
>
No one. It's a joke.

/Magnus

--
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."

Douglas N. Adams (1952-2001)
Re: Towels [message #204588 ] Mi, 18 Januar 2006 19:33
Kaare Fiedler Christi  
Magnus Pedersen wrote:
> ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
>
>> So..really..about those Universal Towels...anyone know who carries the
>> towel pictured as the "Tuff Towel" in the universaltowels web site? It
>> has got to be a real towel, so who carries it??
>>
> No one. It's a joke.

Well, yes, but it's true enough that the picture is probably of a real
existing towel that is sold somewhere. I have no clue where, though. One
could try to ask the creators of the site, but I suspect that the reply
would include threats of being sued by their Vogon legal department... :-)

Best
Kåre
Re: Towels [message #204590 ] Do, 19 Januar 2006 02:52
Dave Adalian  
"Kaare Fiedler Christiansen" <news [at] kaarefc.dk> wrote in message
news:43ce49b7$0$2094$edfadb0f [at] dtext02.news.tele.dk...
> Tian wrote:
>> ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
>>
>>> Really people, we could debate this all day (and night) with no
>>> resolution what so ever. Despite everyone's opinions and interpretation
>>> of this conflict, it really is a moot point. There are so many other
>>> topics of discussion, especially with the upcoming 11th of May and the
>>> subsequent 25th of May. I imagine it's really my fault for taughting my
>>> military status so publicly, for which I apologize.
>>>
>>> Now, if we could get back to the subject of Towels, and off the subject
>>> of politics, which has absolutly nothing to do with why we joined this
>>> forum in the first place, let alone anything to do with HHGTTG, it
>>> would be greatly appreciated.
>>>
>> I give up.
>>
> I'm sorry, I'm afraid giving up in a usenet discussion is illegal under
> The Usenet Principles I (a)(i) and Usenet Principle II makes it clear you
> are obliged to flame any participants in that discussion until one of you
> calls the other one a Nazi (see also Usenet Principle III), so not only
> can't you leave the discussion anytime you feel like, you're legally
> obligated not to do so.
>
> (Apologies to Dave, this is in no way meant as ridicule of you (in fact I
> agree with you) but is merely meant as a humourous parody)
>

Usenet Principal III? I've always heard it called Godwin's Law. See:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law

-- Dave
http://starry-starry-nights.blogspot.com/
Re: Towels [message #204594 ] Do, 19 Januar 2006 12:50
Kaare Fiedler Christi  
Dave Adalian wrote:
> "Kaare Fiedler Christiansen" <news [at] kaarefc.dk> wrote in message
> news:43ce49b7$0$2094$edfadb0f [at] dtext02.news.tele.dk...
>
>>Tian wrote:
>>
>>>ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>Really people, we could debate this all day (and night) with no
>>>>resolution what so ever. Despite everyone's opinions and interpretation
>>>>of this conflict, it really is a moot point. There are so many other
>>>>topics of discussion, especially with the upcoming 11th of May and the
>>>>subsequent 25th of May. I imagine it's really my fault for taughting my
>>>>military status so publicly, for which I apologize.
>>>>
>>>>Now, if we could get back to the subject of Towels, and off the subject
>>>>of politics, which has absolutly nothing to do with why we joined this
>>>>forum in the first place, let alone anything to do with HHGTTG, it
>>>>would be greatly appreciated.
>>>>
>>>
>>>I give up.
>>>
>>
>>I'm sorry, I'm afraid giving up in a usenet discussion is illegal under
>>The Usenet Principles I (a)(i) and Usenet Principle II makes it clear you
>>are obliged to flame any participants in that discussion until one of you
>>calls the other one a Nazi (see also Usenet Principle III), so not only
>>can't you leave the discussion anytime you feel like, you're legally
>>obligated not to do so.
>>
>>(Apologies to Dave, this is in no way meant as ridicule of you (in fact I
>>agree with you) but is merely meant as a humourous parody)
>>
>
>
> Usenet Principal III? I've always heard it called Godwin's Law. See:
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law

Yea, right. It just didn't fit the style, so I decided to Rename It For
That One Post Only[TM]

Best
Kåre
Re: Towels [message #204621 ] Do, 26 Januar 2006 09:29
Tian  
ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:

> Now, if we could get back to the subject of Towels, and off the subject
> of politics, which has absolutly nothing to do with why we joined this
> forum in the first place, let alone anything to do with HHGTTG, it
> would be greatly appreciated.
>

Last week my Macintosh crashed. It died a horrible death, going to
having fits of working separated by long bouts of horizontal lines
on the display and sporadic freezing up. I took it to the shop with
a towel wrapped around it to protect the screen from scratches.

At the shop they explained they couldn't fix it. My only recorse
was to take it to the Apple Store, where they have all the parts
needed to fix an iMac G5 with a 20 inch display. I wrapped my towel
around the thing and took it back to the store where I got it.

When I got there they explained I would have to wait in line for
an opportunity to talk to the guy in the Genius Bar. Ahead of me
in line were Ian, Richard, and somebody else whose name I forget.
I waited with my towel hanging over my sholders like a scarf and
my computer on the floor by my seat like a trained dog.

When my name finally came up the guy behind the counter took
about 45 minutes to figure out that my computer's logic board
was dead, and it would cost me something like $925 to fix it.
I decided that since a Linux box that does the same work well
enough is about $300, the time has come to walk away from Apple.
I said "No. I am going to walk away from Macintosh." I wrapped
my towl around the computer and brought it home.

So now my iMac G5 that worked for 15 months is sitting in the
front hallway like a silly thing to stub toes on. The towel is
sitting on the stove waiting for its next job to occur to me.

--
Tian
http://tian.greens.org
Most recent change: Added pictures of Carols event.
Re: Towels [message #204622 ] Do, 26 Januar 2006 22:56
Amro Bank  
On Thu, 26 Jan 2006 00:29:26 -0800, Tian
<81614485tnharter [at] ispwest.com> wrote:

>ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
>
>> Now, if we could get back to the subject of Towels, and off the subject
>> of politics, which has absolutly nothing to do with why we joined this
>> forum in the first place, let alone anything to do with HHGTTG, it
>> would be greatly appreciated.
>>
>
>Last week my Macintosh crashed. It died a horrible death, going to
>having fits of working separated by long bouts of horizontal lines
>on the display and sporadic freezing up. I took it to the shop with
>a towel wrapped around it to protect the screen from scratches.
>
>At the shop they explained they couldn't fix it. My only recorse
>was to take it to the Apple Store, where they have all the parts
>needed to fix an iMac G5 with a 20 inch display. I wrapped my towel
>around the thing and took it back to the store where I got it.
>
>When I got there they explained I would have to wait in line for
>an opportunity to talk to the guy in the Genius Bar. Ahead of me
>in line were Ian, Richard, and somebody else whose name I forget.
>I waited with my towel hanging over my sholders like a scarf and
>my computer on the floor by my seat like a trained dog.
>
>When my name finally came up the guy behind the counter took
>about 45 minutes to figure out that my computer's logic board
>was dead, and it would cost me something like $925 to fix it.
>I decided that since a Linux box that does the same work well
>enough is about $300, the time has come to walk away from Apple.
>I said "No. I am going to walk away from Macintosh." I wrapped
>my towl around the computer and brought it home.
>
>So now my iMac G5 that worked for 15 months is sitting in the
>front hallway like a silly thing to stub toes on. The towel is
>sitting on the stove waiting for its next job to occur to me.

This is so sad.... <sniff> Makes me melancholy :(

--
Amro
Re: Towels [message #221110 ] Di, 14 Februar 2006 00:13
spam05  
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen <news [at] kaarefc.dk> hit the keyboard.
Afterwards the following was on the screen:

> Tian wrote:
>> ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
>>
>>> Really people, we could debate this all day (and night) with no
>>> resolution what so ever. Despite everyone's opinions and interpretation
>>> of this conflict, it really is a moot point. There are so many other
>>> topics of discussion, especially with the upcoming 11th of May and the
>>> subsequent 25th of May. I imagine it's really my fault for taughting my
>>> military status so publicly, for which I apologize.
>>>
>>> Now, if we could get back to the subject of Towels, and off the subject
>>> of politics, which has absolutly nothing to do with why we joined this
>>> forum in the first place, let alone anything to do with HHGTTG, it
>>> would be greatly appreciated.
>>>
>> I give up.
>>
> I'm sorry, I'm afraid giving up in a usenet discussion is illegal
> under The Usenet Principles I (a)(i) and Usenet Principle II makes it
> clear you are obliged to flame any participants in that discussion
> until one of you calls the other one a Nazi (see also Usenet Principle
> III), so not only can't you leave the discussion anytime you feel
> like, you're legally obligated not to do so.

I miss a reference to the One and Only Troll FAQ [2.3*10^-14]

I mean, trolling is a bit like flaming after all.

[2.3*10^-14] http://groups.google.dk/group/alt.fan.douglas-adams/msg/a366 56f47020e93e?hl=da&

--
-- [ Rasmus "Møffe" Bøg Hansen ] ---------------------------------------
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
-- Lily Tomlin
----------------------------------------------[ moffe at zz9 dot dk ] --
Re: Towels [message #221111 ] Di, 14 Februar 2006 00:30
spam05  
Amro Bank <amro [at] tuig.nl> hit the keyboard.
Afterwards the following was on the screen:

> On Thu, 26 Jan 2006 00:29:26 -0800, Tian
> <81614485tnharter [at] ispwest.com> wrote:
>
>>ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
>>
>>> Now, if we could get back to the subject of Towels, and off the subject
>>> of politics, which has absolutly nothing to do with why we joined this
>>> forum in the first place, let alone anything to do with HHGTTG, it
>>> would be greatly appreciated.
>>>
>>
>>Last week my Macintosh crashed. It died a horrible death, going to
>>having fits of working separated by long bouts of horizontal lines
>>on the display and sporadic freezing up. I took it to the shop with
>>a towel wrapped around it to protect the screen from scratches.
>>
>>At the shop they explained they couldn't fix it. My only recorse
>>was to take it to the Apple Store, where they have all the parts
>>needed to fix an iMac G5 with a 20 inch display. I wrapped my towel
>>around the thing and took it back to the store where I got it.
>>
>>When I got there they explained I would have to wait in line for
>>an opportunity to talk to the guy in the Genius Bar. Ahead of me
>>in line were Ian, Richard, and somebody else whose name I forget.
>>I waited with my towel hanging over my sholders like a scarf and
>>my computer on the floor by my seat like a trained dog.
>>
>>When my name finally came up the guy behind the counter took
>>about 45 minutes to figure out that my computer's logic board
>>was dead, and it would cost me something like $925 to fix it.
>>I decided that since a Linux box that does the same work well
>>enough is about $300, the time has come to walk away from Apple.
>>I said "No. I am going to walk away from Macintosh." I wrapped
>>my towl around the computer and brought it home.
>>
>>So now my iMac G5 that worked for 15 months is sitting in the
>>front hallway like a silly thing to stub toes on. The towel is
>>sitting on the stove waiting for its next job to occur to me.
>
> This is so sad.... <sniff> Makes me melancholy :(

A sad story indeed. Poor thing!

But remember - this wasn't the towel's fault. Without it the message
might have been "This is a dead board and a broken monitor. It will
cost $1354 to fix".

Not that it really matters now...

--
-- [ Rasmus "Møffe" Bøg Hansen ] ---------------------------------------
Predicting the future is easy.
The hard bit is always getting it right.
-- Geoff Huston
----------------------------------------------[ moffe at zz9 dot dk ] --
Re: Towels [message #221122 ] Di, 14 Februar 2006 06:28
Tian  
Rasmus Bøg Hansen wrote:
> Amro Bank <amro [at] tuig.nl> hit the keyboard.
> Afterwards the following was on the screen:
>
>
>>On Thu, 26 Jan 2006 00:29:26 -0800, Tian
>><81614485tnharter [at] ispwest.com> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>ted.mcguire [at] us.army.mil wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>Now, if we could get back to the subject of Towels, and off the subject
>>>>of politics, which has absolutly nothing to do with why we joined this
>>>>forum in the first place, let alone anything to do with HHGTTG, it
>>>>would be greatly appreciated.
>>>>
>>>
>>>Last week my Macintosh crashed. It died a horrible death, going to
>>>having fits of working separated by long bouts of horizontal lines
>>>on the display and sporadic freezing up. I took it to the shop with
>>>a towel wrapped around it to protect the screen from scratches.
>>>
>>>At the shop they explained they couldn't fix it. My only recorse
>>>was to take it to the Apple Store, where they have all the parts
>>>needed to fix an iMac G5 with a 20 inch display. I wrapped my towel
>>>around the thing and took it back to the store where I got it.
>>>
>>>When I got there they explained I would have to wait in line for
>>>an opportunity to talk to the guy in the Genius Bar. Ahead of me
>>>in line were Ian, Richard, and somebody else whose name I forget.
>>>I waited with my towel hanging over my sholders like a scarf and
>>>my computer on the floor by my seat like a trained dog.
>>>
>>>When my name finally came up the guy behind the counter took
>>>about 45 minutes to figure out that my computer's logic board
>>>was dead, and it would cost me something like $925 to fix it.
>>>I decided that since a Linux box that does the same work well
>>>enough is about $300, the time has come to walk away from Apple.
>>>I said "No. I am going to walk away from Macintosh." I wrapped
>>>my towl around the computer and brought it home.
>>>
>>>So now my iMac G5 that worked for 15 months is sitting in the
>>>front hallway like a silly thing to stub toes on. The towel is
>>>sitting on the stove waiting for its next job to occur to me.
>>
>>This is so sad.... <sniff> Makes me melancholy :(
>
>
> A sad story indeed. Poor thing!
>
> But remember - this wasn't the towel's fault. Without it the message
> might have been "This is a dead board and a broken monitor. It will
> cost $1354 to fix".
>
> Not that it really matters now...
>
Actually, there was another chapter to the story, that has happened
much more recently. Somebody told me the problem "the capacitors",
and I was able to find a page on Apple's website saying that they
were aware of this problem, and they would repair it for free if I
took it in. I did, and they did. In fact they did it in something
like four hours. I took it in, came home, watched Bush give his
State of the Union Address and turned off the TV. About then Apple
called. My computer was ready, and they wanted me to come pick it up.

I did. Now the only problem is that the new logic board doesn't run
X11, the application that GIMP requires for some reason. So now I
do all my graphics on the linux box, which I am typing on right now.

While my Mac was dead that news server migrated to some other address,
which is okay because the email account I got at ISP West comes with
good newsgroup coverage. So now the reasons I used to go to the Mac
are slowly migrating to the linux box.

I sold my Apple stock earlier today. If I'd sold it a month ago
when I was mad at the company I would have made a good profit on it.
Funny how these things work sometimes...

--
Tian
http://tian.greens.org
Latest change: Added my pictures from Aimee Allisons kickoff event.
Re: Towels [message #221130 ] Di, 14 Februar 2006 16:52
Kaare Fiedler Christi  
Rasmus Bøg Hansen wrote:

<snip>

> I miss a reference to the One and Only Troll FAQ [2.3*10^-14]
>
> I mean, trolling is a bit like flaming after all.
>
> [2.3*10^-14] http://groups.google.dk/group/alt.fan.douglas-adams/msg/a366 56f47020e93e?hl=da&

Hey! When did you take over the afda index? :-)

Best
Kåre
Re: Towels [message #221135 ] Mi, 15 Februar 2006 00:14
spam05  
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen <news [at] kaarefc.dk> hit the keyboard.
Afterwards the following was on the screen:

>> I miss a reference to the One and Only Troll FAQ [2.3*10^-14]
>> I mean, trolling is a bit like flaming after all.
>> [2.3*10^-14]
>> http://groups.google.dk/group/alt.fan.douglas-adams/msg/a366 56f47020e93e?hl=da&
>
> Hey! When did you take over the afda index? :-)

That's not an index at all. I only have a cache - and this was my
first cache hit for a looong time :-)

--
-- [ Rasmus "Møffe" Bøg Hansen ] ---------------------------------------
Is there anything else I can contribute?
The latitude and longtitude of the bios writers current position, and
a ballistic missile.
-- Alan Cox
----------------------------------------------[ moffe at zz9 dot dk ] --
Vorheriges Thema:I have signed first editions of Adams to sell, but not sure how or where
Nächstes Thema:DNA in the BMJ
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