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Science Fiction » alt.fan.starwars » If every role was played by Sam Jackson
If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174249] Fr, 25 November 2005 19:31
badlands420  
THRONE ROOM SCENE


PALPATINE: Master Mindu......learn to knock, you rude motherfucker.

MACE WINDU: Don't be trippin', Chancellor. We up in this bitch on some more
important business than that.

PALPATINE: You wanna get into some gangsta shit?

MACE WINDU: Shut the fuck up and come with us.

PALPATINE: Bitch, I KNOW you don't wanna get into some gangsta shit.

*they fight*

MACE WINDU (seeing Anakin): Bitch, I told you to stay at the temple. Gitcho
scrawny white ass the fuck up outta here before I show the true nature of
the dark side.

PALPATINE: Check it out, I'm old and this motherfucker's gonna kill me. That
shit is FUCKED up.

ANAKIN: You can't kill this motherfucker, Mace. I need him to help save my
bitch.

MACE WINDU: Bitch, I don't give a FUCK about your bitch! Now get up outta
here before I turn your nutsack into a motherfuckin' Christman ornament.

ANAKIN: But you can't just cap the motherfucker.

MACE WINDU: And I shall strike down with great vengeance and furious
anger....

ANAKIN: Damn, I gots to fuck you up now.

MACE WINDU: And you shall KNOW my name is the.....

*Anakins cuts off Mace's arm. Mace wails like a white woman*

PALPATINE: Damn, you cut off that nigger's arm.

ANAKIN: Fuckin' push his ass out the window before the pigs show up.

PALPATINE: Okay.

*he does*

ANAKIN: Fuck, what have I done?

PALPATINE: You cut off that nigger's arm, then you told me to push him out
the windows.

ANAKIN: Shut the fuck up, it was a rhetorical question.

PALPATINE: It's cool, don't be trippin'.

ANAKIN: Will you still help me save my bitch?

PALPATINE: Yeah, but you gots to be my indentured manservant until the end
of time.

ANAKIN: Okay.

PALPATINE: Oh, and all that stuff about savin' your bitch? That was all
bullshit.

ANAKIN: Damn, that's FUCKED up.

PALPATINE: Now I'm gonna make you go cap a bunch of motherfuckers, just
because I can.

ANAKIN: Okay, jut don't make me kill any little kids.

PALPATINE: First, go to the temple and kill all the little kids.

ANAKIN: MotherFUCKER.

PALPATINE: And do it right in front of a security camera so everybody thinks
you a stupid motherfucker.

ANAKIN: Dayumn! Why you gots to fuck with a brother like that?

PALPATINE: Cuz my wallet says "Bad Imperial Muthafucka" on it, bitch. And
don't be forgettin' it.


TO BE CONTINUED.....
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174250 ] Fr, 25 November 2005 19:53
Chuck  
"badlands420" <bung [at] hole.com> wrote in message
news:iMIhf.6634$Wu.3003 [at] fed1read05...
> THRONE ROOM SCENE
>
>

ROTFLMAO!

--
Chuck
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174251 ] Fr, 25 November 2005 23:33
Kris  
Awesome.

Kris

"badlands420" <bung [at] hole.com> wrote in message
news:iMIhf.6634$Wu.3003 [at] fed1read05...
> THRONE ROOM SCENE
>
>
> PALPATINE: Master Mindu......learn to knock, you rude motherfucker.
>
> MACE WINDU: Don't be trippin', Chancellor. We up in this bitch on some
more
> important business than that.
>
> PALPATINE: You wanna get into some gangsta shit?
>
> MACE WINDU: Shut the fuck up and come with us.
>
> PALPATINE: Bitch, I KNOW you don't wanna get into some gangsta shit.
>
> *they fight*
>
> MACE WINDU (seeing Anakin): Bitch, I told you to stay at the temple.
Gitcho
> scrawny white ass the fuck up outta here before I show the true nature of
> the dark side.
>
> PALPATINE: Check it out, I'm old and this motherfucker's gonna kill me.
That
> shit is FUCKED up.
>
> ANAKIN: You can't kill this motherfucker, Mace. I need him to help save my
> bitch.
>
> MACE WINDU: Bitch, I don't give a FUCK about your bitch! Now get up outta
> here before I turn your nutsack into a motherfuckin' Christman ornament.
>
> ANAKIN: But you can't just cap the motherfucker.
>
> MACE WINDU: And I shall strike down with great vengeance and furious
> anger....
>
> ANAKIN: Damn, I gots to fuck you up now.
>
> MACE WINDU: And you shall KNOW my name is the.....
>
> *Anakins cuts off Mace's arm. Mace wails like a white woman*
>
> PALPATINE: Damn, you cut off that nigger's arm.
>
> ANAKIN: Fuckin' push his ass out the window before the pigs show up.
>
> PALPATINE: Okay.
>
> *he does*
>
> ANAKIN: Fuck, what have I done?
>
> PALPATINE: You cut off that nigger's arm, then you told me to push him out
> the windows.
>
> ANAKIN: Shut the fuck up, it was a rhetorical question.
>
> PALPATINE: It's cool, don't be trippin'.
>
> ANAKIN: Will you still help me save my bitch?
>
> PALPATINE: Yeah, but you gots to be my indentured manservant until the end
> of time.
>
> ANAKIN: Okay.
>
> PALPATINE: Oh, and all that stuff about savin' your bitch? That was all
> bullshit.
>
> ANAKIN: Damn, that's FUCKED up.
>
> PALPATINE: Now I'm gonna make you go cap a bunch of motherfuckers, just
> because I can.
>
> ANAKIN: Okay, jut don't make me kill any little kids.
>
> PALPATINE: First, go to the temple and kill all the little kids.
>
> ANAKIN: MotherFUCKER.
>
> PALPATINE: And do it right in front of a security camera so everybody
thinks
> you a stupid motherfucker.
>
> ANAKIN: Dayumn! Why you gots to fuck with a brother like that?
>
> PALPATINE: Cuz my wallet says "Bad Imperial Muthafucka" on it, bitch. And
> don't be forgettin' it.
>
>
> TO BE CONTINUED.....
>
>
>
>
>
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174256 ] Fr, 25 November 2005 23:14
No1ButU  
Not bad.. not bad at all :)
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174257 ] Fr, 25 November 2005 23:57
Dennis Denise  
Incredible, you should rewrite the entire saga. Very funny.




"badlands420" <bung [at] hole.com> wrote in message
news:iMIhf.6634$Wu.3003 [at] fed1read05...
> THRONE ROOM SCENE
>
> PALPATINE: Master Mindu......learn to knock, you rude motherfucker.
>
> MACE WINDU: Don't be trippin', Chancellor. We up in this bitch on some
> more important business than that.
>
> PALPATINE: You wanna get into some gangsta shit?
>
> MACE WINDU: Shut the fuck up and come with us.
>
> PALPATINE: Bitch, I KNOW you don't wanna get into some gangsta shit.
>
> *they fight*
>
> MACE WINDU (seeing Anakin): Bitch, I told you to stay at the temple.
> Gitcho scrawny white ass the fuck up outta here before I show the true
> nature of the dark side.
>
> PALPATINE: Check it out, I'm old and this motherfucker's gonna kill me.
> That shit is FUCKED up.
>
> ANAKIN: You can't kill this motherfucker, Mace. I need him to help save my
> bitch.
>
> MACE WINDU: Bitch, I don't give a FUCK about your bitch! Now get up outta
> here before I turn your nutsack into a motherfuckin' Christman ornament.
>
> ANAKIN: But you can't just cap the motherfucker.
>
> MACE WINDU: And I shall strike down with great vengeance and furious
> anger....
>
> ANAKIN: Damn, I gots to fuck you up now.
>
> MACE WINDU: And you shall KNOW my name is the.....
>
> *Anakins cuts off Mace's arm. Mace wails like a white woman*
>
> PALPATINE: Damn, you cut off that nigger's arm.
>
> ANAKIN: Fuckin' push his ass out the window before the pigs show up.
>
> PALPATINE: Okay.
>
> *he does*
>
> ANAKIN: Fuck, what have I done?
>
> PALPATINE: You cut off that nigger's arm, then you told me to push him out
> the windows.
>
> ANAKIN: Shut the fuck up, it was a rhetorical question.
>
> PALPATINE: It's cool, don't be trippin'.
>
> ANAKIN: Will you still help me save my bitch?
>
> PALPATINE: Yeah, but you gots to be my indentured manservant until the end
> of time.
>
> ANAKIN: Okay.
>
> PALPATINE: Oh, and all that stuff about savin' your bitch? That was all
> bullshit.
>
> ANAKIN: Damn, that's FUCKED up.
>
> PALPATINE: Now I'm gonna make you go cap a bunch of motherfuckers, just
> because I can.
>
> ANAKIN: Okay, jut don't make me kill any little kids.
>
> PALPATINE: First, go to the temple and kill all the little kids.
>
> ANAKIN: MotherFUCKER.
>
> PALPATINE: And do it right in front of a security camera so everybody
> thinks you a stupid motherfucker.
>
> ANAKIN: Dayumn! Why you gots to fuck with a brother like that?
>
> PALPATINE: Cuz my wallet says "Bad Imperial Muthafucka" on it, bitch. And
> don't be forgettin' it.
>
>
> TO BE CONTINUED.....
>
>
>
>
>
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174258 ] Sa, 26 November 2005 00:26
dullard  
Pathetic.
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174260 ] Sa, 26 November 2005 02:26
M  
"Oh great!".......said Samuel L Jackson.......
"Bloomin' type cast AGAIN!"...............

--
M

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
....why, other guards, of course!

"badlands420" <bung [at] hole.com> wrote in message
news:iMIhf.6634$Wu.3003 [at] fed1read05...
> THRONE ROOM SCENE
>
>
> PALPATINE: Master Mindu......learn to knock, you rude motherfucker.
>
> MACE WINDU: Don't be trippin', Chancellor. We up in this bitch on some
more
> important business than that.
>
> PALPATINE: You wanna get into some gangsta shit?
>
> MACE WINDU: Shut the fuck up and come with us.
>
> PALPATINE: Bitch, I KNOW you don't wanna get into some gangsta shit.
>
> *they fight*
>
> MACE WINDU (seeing Anakin): Bitch, I told you to stay at the temple.
Gitcho
> scrawny white ass the fuck up outta here before I show the true nature of
> the dark side.
>
> PALPATINE: Check it out, I'm old and this motherfucker's gonna kill me.
That
> shit is FUCKED up.
>
> ANAKIN: You can't kill this motherfucker, Mace. I need him to help save my
> bitch.
>
> MACE WINDU: Bitch, I don't give a FUCK about your bitch! Now get up outta
> here before I turn your nutsack into a motherfuckin' Christman ornament.
>
> ANAKIN: But you can't just cap the motherfucker.
>
> MACE WINDU: And I shall strike down with great vengeance and furious
> anger....
>
> ANAKIN: Damn, I gots to fuck you up now.
>
> MACE WINDU: And you shall KNOW my name is the.....
>
> *Anakins cuts off Mace's arm. Mace wails like a white woman*
>
> PALPATINE: Damn, you cut off that nigger's arm.
>
> ANAKIN: Fuckin' push his ass out the window before the pigs show up.
>
> PALPATINE: Okay.
>
> *he does*
>
> ANAKIN: Fuck, what have I done?
>
> PALPATINE: You cut off that nigger's arm, then you told me to push him out
> the windows.
>
> ANAKIN: Shut the fuck up, it was a rhetorical question.
>
> PALPATINE: It's cool, don't be trippin'.
>
> ANAKIN: Will you still help me save my bitch?
>
> PALPATINE: Yeah, but you gots to be my indentured manservant until the end
> of time.
>
> ANAKIN: Okay.
>
> PALPATINE: Oh, and all that stuff about savin' your bitch? That was all
> bullshit.
>
> ANAKIN: Damn, that's FUCKED up.
>
> PALPATINE: Now I'm gonna make you go cap a bunch of motherfuckers, just
> because I can.
>
> ANAKIN: Okay, jut don't make me kill any little kids.
>
> PALPATINE: First, go to the temple and kill all the little kids.
>
> ANAKIN: MotherFUCKER.
>
> PALPATINE: And do it right in front of a security camera so everybody
thinks
> you a stupid motherfucker.
>
> ANAKIN: Dayumn! Why you gots to fuck with a brother like that?
>
> PALPATINE: Cuz my wallet says "Bad Imperial Muthafucka" on it, bitch. And
> don't be forgettin' it.
>
>
> TO BE CONTINUED.....
>
>
>
>
>
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174261 ] Sa, 26 November 2005 02:55
Anybody  
How about "If every role was played by Jar Jar Binks"? ;-)
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174266 ] Sa, 26 November 2005 10:53
simon archer  
nice one gave me a laugh
"Anybody" <anybody [at] anywhere-anytime.com> wrote in message
news:261120051455409948%anybody [at] anywhere-anytime.com...
>
> How about "If every role was played by Jar Jar Binks"? ;-)
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174278 ] Sa, 26 November 2005 20:11
Guest  
I guess Sam Jackson cannot just be an actor, he, in some people's minds has
to be a 'jive brother, black actor.' Where are the Jewish rewrites for
Portman? It's a shame. Racism, drugs and sexual(homo and normal) maniacs
always inject their obsessions into something fantastic.
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174283 ] Sa, 26 November 2005 20:36
badlands420  
>Where are the Jewish rewrites for
> Portman?

Hey, that's a hell of a good idea. I'll get right to work.
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174289 ] So, 27 November 2005 00:10
frenchy  
Jackson is stuck with that 'brother' accent of his, he did a pretty
good job of covering it up but there's always a little there. And
surrounded by mostly English accents it sticks out a little more.
Would be cool if he was Don Cheadle or somebody like that who can pull
accents out of his hat, but that's something you're born with.... hmmm,
like acting.
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #174315 ] So, 27 November 2005 20:09
Anthony  
Lame


"badlands420" <bung [at] hole.com> wrote in message
news:iMIhf.6634$Wu.3003 [at] fed1read05...
> THRONE ROOM SCENE
>
>
> PALPATINE: Master Mindu......learn to knock, you rude motherfucker.
>
> MACE WINDU: Don't be trippin', Chancellor. We up in this bitch on some
> more important business than that.
>
> PALPATINE: You wanna get into some gangsta shit?
>
> MACE WINDU: Shut the fuck up and come with us.
>
> PALPATINE: Bitch, I KNOW you don't wanna get into some gangsta shit.
>
> *they fight*
>
> MACE WINDU (seeing Anakin): Bitch, I told you to stay at the temple.
> Gitcho scrawny white ass the fuck up outta here before I show the true
> nature of the dark side.
>
> PALPATINE: Check it out, I'm old and this motherfucker's gonna kill me.
> That shit is FUCKED up.
>
> ANAKIN: You can't kill this motherfucker, Mace. I need him to help save my
> bitch.
>
> MACE WINDU: Bitch, I don't give a FUCK about your bitch! Now get up outta
> here before I turn your nutsack into a motherfuckin' Christman ornament.
>
> ANAKIN: But you can't just cap the motherfucker.
>
> MACE WINDU: And I shall strike down with great vengeance and furious
> anger....
>
> ANAKIN: Damn, I gots to fuck you up now.
>
> MACE WINDU: And you shall KNOW my name is the.....
>
> *Anakins cuts off Mace's arm. Mace wails like a white woman*
>
> PALPATINE: Damn, you cut off that nigger's arm.
>
> ANAKIN: Fuckin' push his ass out the window before the pigs show up.
>
> PALPATINE: Okay.
>
> *he does*
>
> ANAKIN: Fuck, what have I done?
>
> PALPATINE: You cut off that nigger's arm, then you told me to push him out
> the windows.
>
> ANAKIN: Shut the fuck up, it was a rhetorical question.
>
> PALPATINE: It's cool, don't be trippin'.
>
> ANAKIN: Will you still help me save my bitch?
>
> PALPATINE: Yeah, but you gots to be my indentured manservant until the end
> of time.
>
> ANAKIN: Okay.
>
> PALPATINE: Oh, and all that stuff about savin' your bitch? That was all
> bullshit.
>
> ANAKIN: Damn, that's FUCKED up.
>
> PALPATINE: Now I'm gonna make you go cap a bunch of motherfuckers, just
> because I can.
>
> ANAKIN: Okay, jut don't make me kill any little kids.
>
> PALPATINE: First, go to the temple and kill all the little kids.
>
> ANAKIN: MotherFUCKER.
>
> PALPATINE: And do it right in front of a security camera so everybody
> thinks you a stupid motherfucker.
>
> ANAKIN: Dayumn! Why you gots to fuck with a brother like that?
>
> PALPATINE: Cuz my wallet says "Bad Imperial Muthafucka" on it, bitch. And
> don't be forgettin' it.
>
>
> TO BE CONTINUED.....
>
>
>
>
>
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #175609 ] So, 27 November 2005 01:53
graham  
excellent....could you rescript all six episodes and send them to George
Lucas for future special edition rewrites?

"No1ButU" <no1butu [at] sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:8_Lhf.32841$gK4.917661 [at] news20.bellglobal.com...
> Not bad.. not bad at all :)
>
>
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #175637 ] Di, 29 November 2005 04:22
ardz  
"badlands420" <bung [at] hole.com> wrote in message
news:iMIhf.6634$Wu.3003 [at] fed1read05...
> THRONE ROOM SCENE
>
>
> PALPATINE: Master Mindu......learn to knock, you rude motherfucker.
>
> MACE WINDU: Don't be trippin', Chancellor. We up in this bitch on some
> more important business than that.
>
> PALPATINE: You wanna get into some gangsta shit?
>
> MACE WINDU: Shut the fuck up and come with us.
>
> PALPATINE: Bitch, I KNOW you don't wanna get into some gangsta shit.
>
> *they fight*
>
> MACE WINDU (seeing Anakin): Bitch, I told you to stay at the temple.
> Gitcho scrawny white ass the fuck up outta here before I show the true
> nature of the dark side.
>
> PALPATINE: Check it out, I'm old and this motherfucker's gonna kill me.
> That shit is FUCKED up.
>
> ANAKIN: You can't kill this motherfucker, Mace. I need him to help save my
> bitch.
>
> MACE WINDU: Bitch, I don't give a FUCK about your bitch! Now get up outta
> here before I turn your nutsack into a motherfuckin' Christman ornament.
>
> ANAKIN: But you can't just cap the motherfucker.
>
> MACE WINDU: And I shall strike down with great vengeance and furious
> anger....
>
> ANAKIN: Damn, I gots to fuck you up now.
>
> MACE WINDU: And you shall KNOW my name is the.....
>
> *Anakins cuts off Mace's arm. Mace wails like a white woman*
>
> PALPATINE: Damn, you cut off that nigger's arm.
>
> ANAKIN: Fuckin' push his ass out the window before the pigs show up.
>
> PALPATINE: Okay.
>
> *he does*
>
> ANAKIN: Fuck, what have I done?
>
> PALPATINE: You cut off that nigger's arm, then you told me to push him out
> the windows.
>
> ANAKIN: Shut the fuck up, it was a rhetorical question.
>
> PALPATINE: It's cool, don't be trippin'.
>
> ANAKIN: Will you still help me save my bitch?
>
> PALPATINE: Yeah, but you gots to be my indentured manservant until the end
> of time.
>
> ANAKIN: Okay.
>
> PALPATINE: Oh, and all that stuff about savin' your bitch? That was all
> bullshit.
>
> ANAKIN: Damn, that's FUCKED up.
>
> PALPATINE: Now I'm gonna make you go cap a bunch of motherfuckers, just
> because I can.
>
> ANAKIN: Okay, jut don't make me kill any little kids.
>
> PALPATINE: First, go to the temple and kill all the little kids.
>
> ANAKIN: MotherFUCKER.
>
> PALPATINE: And do it right in front of a security camera so everybody
> thinks you a stupid motherfucker.
>
> ANAKIN: Dayumn! Why you gots to fuck with a brother like that?
>
> PALPATINE: Cuz my wallet says "Bad Imperial Muthafucka" on it, bitch. And
> don't be forgettin' it.
>
>
> TO BE CONTINUED.....
>
>
>
>
>


LMAO thats funny az....wheres the rest of it?....
Re: If every role was played by Sam Jackson [message #178281 ] Mo, 05 Dezember 2005 10:15
aaron  
>
> MACE WINDU (seeing Anakin): Bitch, I told you to stay at the temple.
Gitcho
> scrawny white ass the fuck up outta here before I show the true
nature of
> the dark side.
>


If every role was played by Sam Jackson, wouldn't Anakin's scrawny ass
be black?
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