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Science Fiction » alt.fan.starwars » Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD
| Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150329] |
Fr, 21 Oktober 2005 08:54 |
|
I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
my review.
When I heard The Fifth Element was written by a teenager, I thought,
"Yeah, that sounds about right." It was, in fact, written by a
fifteen-year-old Luc Besson, who apparently decided to go ahead and
make the movie upon reaching adulthood, without going back and making
any changes to the logic or the story line. That's fine by me,
because this movie is fantastic! Great looking movie with seamless
special effects, zany characters, and a wonderfully ridiculous plot,
which (despite a few lulls) captivates you from start to finish.
Here's the premise: 300 years in the future, a giant ball of evil (I'm
not joking) is heading towards Earth, as it supposedly does every
5,000 years. The only way to stop it is to gather four stones, each
representing won of the four elements, and place them around this
"supreme being," or fifth element. Yep. Who'da thought? The problem
is, 300 years ago, the stones were taken from Earth, and the ship
which is supposed to return them has been shot down by ugly alien
mercenaries. Now the world, (or the entire Universe, depending on
which part of the movie you're watching), is in danger of being
destroyed, unless the stones can be retrieved in time. And who do you
call when you need to save the world? Answer: Bruce Willis, of
course.
Bruce Willis is playing, well...Bruce Willis, as he does so well in
all his other movies. The difference here is that he seems to have
borrowed Peter Stormare's hair for this character. We start off with
the obligatory "Bruce Willis wake up" scene, wherein we catch a
glimpse of his cramped, futuristic apartment, and we learn that he's a
cab driver, he used to be some kind of high-ranking military man, and
his wife left him (this is called "characterization"). Then, while
out driving his flying taxicab, (because it's the future, see?), an
attractive, young orange-haired girl falls into his car (literally)
from out of the sky. She has no identification, speaks gibberish, and
is wearing nothing but precariously placed bandages.
In the tradition of great science-fiction female names, ("Leia," from
the Star Wars saga, of course; "Wina," from The Time Machine; "Leela,"
from TV's "Futurama"), we have "Leeloo," played by Mila Jovovich
(spelling?). It turns out, Leeloo is this so-called "supreme being,"
brought back to life by scientists, (again, it's the future), and is
now looking for a priest named Vito Cornelius, or something, who is
apparently from a long line of priests who've been keeping this "giant
ball of evil" thing a secret for 5,000 years.
Anyways, action ensues, plots unfold, and it turns out the stones have
been given to somewon on a distant planet called Fhlosten, or
something, which is basically Planet Hawaii, and there just happens to
be a contest for a trip for two to Fhlosten. Guess who wins it?
Meanwhile, there's this other guy, "Zorg," (who wears a dayglo vampire
cape and an unexplained plastic headpiece, and looks like a cross
between Hitler and George McFly), and he's trying to get his hands on
the stones as well, because he *wants* the big ball of evil to come to
earth and destroy us all. What's his motivation for that, I have to
wonder? Well, he explains his motivation, and it still doesn't make
any sense. I guess that's why he's the evil genius and we aren't. Not
to worry though; Zorg blows himself up before he gets his hands on the
stones, and the world is saved after all, (*spoiler*).
In a nutshell, this is not your standard science-fiction movie. It
has a lot of silly little things that it could do without, but I guess
those silly little things are what make it so unique. The costumes
are atrocious (What do you expect from something made by a French
guy?). Some of the jokes (the mugger in the hallway dancing--wha??)
go right over my head like a low-flying hovercar. And the music and
pacing just seem wrong to me. Besson is not trying to go by any
conventions here, I know. Sometimes, though, it just seems as though,
with the action, and the whole "giant evil ball of fire coming towards
the Earth" storyline, that a more traditional approach would have
worked better for me. Star Wars is praised for following the
pre-established standards of mythology that we all know and can
identify with, so should The Fifth Element be panned for deviating
from those standards? Well, I guess it depends on your point of view.
It's a postmodern look at the science-fiction genre (What do you
expect from something made by a French guy?).
Good things:
The sets and everything are simply awe-inspiring. It's an array of
sights and colours that you really have to see.
Decent chemistry between Willis and Leeloo. Although it may be hard
to look past the age difference: Bruce Willis must be in his
mid-to-late-forties, and Leeloo should be at least 5,000 for the story
to hold up.
Doesn't go out of it's way to exploit it's science-fictionness, like
won would expect a movie like this to do. Unlike most movies of this
genre, such as the more recent example, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
Galaxy, ("Look, it's a little lightsaber for cutting bread"), The
Fifth Element lets the technology be the backdrop for the story
(except for won scene where Zorg goes into extraneous detail about his
new line of multi-purpose firearms).
The Aliens. These are amazing looking. Keep in mind this was
1997--pre-Phantom Menace. Since the last Star Wars movie came out,
the most aliens we had gotten to see, up to this point, were in those
guys in Star Trek with bowl haircuts and ridges on their noses. Big
wow. Here we have the ugly mercenaries, called the "Mangalores," and
these huge, hulking armour-covered beasts (either that, or they're
robots; again, this is never explained) called "Mandochewans," or
something. There's also this big, blue opera singer who everywon
keeps calling a "diva," as if we know the significance of that term. I
thought "diva" was just something Mariah Carey and Celine Dione refer
to themselves as? Any insight into this would be appreciated.
My suggestions:
Introduce Chris Tucker's character earlier in the movie, and give him
less to say. He had WAAAY too much dialogue crammed into the third
act. The worthless sidekick's ass is only worth being saved by the
hero if you can grow to like him over the course of a storyline. Here,
Bruce Willis, (By the way, his character's name is "Korben Dallas." I
thought I should point that out at this point in the review), is not
given enough time to do that, (though their won-and-only action scene
together is pretty good).
Trim the extraneously long scenes and awkward dialogue. You know
which scenes I'm talking about. The wons where the endless
world-music songs plays throughout.
Lose the unnecessary parallels, such as the ship readying for takeoff,
as Chris Tucker gives oral sex to a woman (more than likely only in
there so the viewers would not think the character is gay, which was
probly more of a concern in 1997 than would be nowadays).
Oh, and don't cast "Tiny" Lister as the President next time. "We
don't want a incident!" Are you kidding me? HA HA HA.
As far as the "extra-features" go, there is absolutely nothing on this
entire two-disc set that gives any kind of insight into this story,
whatsoever. There are five selections, focusing on five different
elements of the movie (Get it?), and won extra won about the "diva"
character. I personally thought the "Diva" featurette should have
gone under "The Alien Element," along with the other alien
featurettes, but there seems to be some kind of significance to this
character that I must be missing. Again, any insight would be
appreciated. There's no commentary track (though I read that Besson
"doesn't do commentary tracks"), but there is a "Fact track," which
displays little tidbits of trivia throughout the movie, and is about
as useful as a Philosophy major, (It must have been made for them by
the people at VH-1). There are NO deleted scenes, NO outtakes, not
even a fucking trailor. Jesus, not even the special features for this
movie give you what you would expect them to give.
So, if you're a post-modernist, you'll probly watch it and go, "Wow,
zat vasa reely reely good movie," as you sit cross-legged, listening
to Frank Zappa, sucking on a cigarette from won of those long
cigarette holders. But if you're more of a "meat and potatoes"
science-fiction fan, you'll more than likely stare at it cock-eyed
just long enough to realise it's just another "Bruce Willis saves the
world" affair, and sit back and enjoy it for what it is.
Love,
Wavy G
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150333 ] |
Fr, 21 Oktober 2005 17:59 |
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On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 02:54:02 -0400, in
<news:cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>, Wavy G wrote:
> I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
> 1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
> my review.
<snip>
all i want to know is if this "Ultimate Edition" has Jovovich nude pics.
maybe hardcore pics from the healing tube at the end. well? well?
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150334 ] |
Fr, 21 Oktober 2005 18:02 |
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In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>my review.
I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
I do so.
Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
:g/won/one/g
--
Hal Heydt
Albany, CA
My dime, my opinions.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150335 ] |
Fr, 21 Oktober 2005 19:31 |
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Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
Heydtiest.
>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>my review.
>
>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>I do so.
>
>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>
> :g/won/one/g
So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150337 ] |
Fr, 21 Oktober 2005 20:27 |
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[Trimmed the excessive crossposting]
Wavy G wrote:
> Here's the premise: 300 years in the future, a giant ball of evil (I'm
> not joking) is heading towards Earth,
I liked the part when the evil ball calls on the phone and waited for
the secretary to connect them. "There's a Mister Dark holding on line
2".
There's also a battle-ax soldier lady with cinnamon bun hair that's an
obvious parody of Leia.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150341 ] |
Fr, 21 Oktober 2005 21:10 |
|
In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>Heydtiest.
>
>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>my review.
>>
>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>I do so.
>>
>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>
>> :g/won/one/g
>
>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
I think he's saying that when he misspells something it's a
one-of, but that you misspell consistently.
Dorothy J. Heydt
Albany, California
djheydt [at] kithrup.com
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150344 ] |
Fr, 21 Oktober 2005 23:07 |
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Of all the Dorothy J Heydts I've known, "Dorothy J Heydt" is the
Dorothy J Heydtiest.
>In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>Heydtiest.
>>
>>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>>my review.
>>>
>>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>>I do so.
>>>
>>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>>
>>> :g/won/one/g
>>
>>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
>
>I think he's saying that when he misspells something it's a
>one-of, but that you misspell consistently.
Mm-hmm. And you wouldn't happen to be defending this guy because he
has the same last name as you, would you? Hmm? Who is he, your
husband? HMM???
I see what's going on here. It's pure nepotism, PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
This is completely unfiar.
>
>Dorothy J. Heydt
>Albany, California
>djheydt [at] kithrup.com
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150345 ] |
Fr, 21 Oktober 2005 22:45 |
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In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>Heydtiest.
>
>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>my review.
>>
>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>I do so.
>>
>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>
>> :g/won/one/g
>
>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
As I noted, I *generally* don't do so. It was the consistent
erroneous use of a homophone that induced me to do it this time.
The rest is explanation that I do not do such things on a routine
basis. YMMV.
--
Hal Heydt
Albany, CA
My dime, my opinions.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150347 ] |
Fr, 21 Oktober 2005 23:26 |
|
[aft-s removed due to my current server being childish]
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 19:10:41 GMT, in <news:Ioq59t.L4E [at] kithrup.com>, Dorothy
J Heydt wrote:
> In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
> Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>Heydtiest.
>>
>>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>>my review.
>>>
>>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>>I do so.
>>>
>>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>>
>>> :g/won/one/g
>>
>>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
>
> I think he's saying that when he misspells something it's a
> one-of, but that you misspell consistently.
>
> Dorothy J. Heydt
> Albany, California
> djheydt [at] kithrup.com
thats called an accent or a style in some places. just like brooklyn
sounds different than boston sounds different than atlanta sounds different
than vancouver sounds different than dallas etc..., so there are different
"accents" in the usenet.
and i think you heydts are awfully silly, considering you understood wavys
message. and i bet you understand mine even though i ran out of nearly all
of my life time alottment of apostrophes nine years ago, and my capitals
are reserved for shouting. so why dont you get past your little personal
problems and comment on wavys review, filmwise, not spellingwise or
grammarwise. isnt that what this thread is for? isnt that what the
subject is about? or am i imagining things again. it happens, you know.
it could be "Please comment on all my little spelling errors and deviations
from your personal standard of the english language." i just wouldnt know
if i were imagining things again.
(trying to correct the spelling and grammar of all usenetters you come
across. sheesh. if ~that~ isnt a losing battle, i dont know what is.
might as well just apoplexy right now and get it over with. save you a lot
of frustration and righteous indignation.)
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150348 ] |
Fr, 21 Oktober 2005 23:28 |
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In article <1rlil1hqeqat4krhik4lth36pucfvi2bgl [at] 4ax.com>,
Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>Heydtiest.
That's easy enough; there have only been two.
Dorothy J. Heydt
Albany, California
djheydt [at] kithrup.com
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150350 ] |
Fr, 21 Oktober 2005 23:57 |
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Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
Heydtiest.
>In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>Heydtiest.
>>
>>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>>my review.
>>>
>>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>>I do so.
>>>
>>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>>
>>> :g/won/one/g
>>
>>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
>
>As I noted, I *generally* don't do so. It was the consistent
>erroneous use of a homophone that induced me to do it this time.
>The rest is explanation that I do not do such things on a routine
>basis. YMMV.
"Consistent erroneous use of a homophone"? Could you possibly throw a
few more sesquipedalian words in there? I know, you're very proud of
your new dictionary you got--as you very well should be--but this is
only Usenet, pal. The most you're going to accomplish with that
gingerbread writing style is possibly impress a few geeks from
rec.arts.sf.composition.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150352 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 00:04 |
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Of all the Lame-o the Lightning Pheasants I've known, "Lame-o the
Lightning Pheasant" is the Lame-o the Lightning Pheasantiest.
>[aft-s removed due to my current server being childish]
>
>On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 19:10:41 GMT, in <news:Ioq59t.L4E [at] kithrup.com>, Dorothy
>J Heydt wrote:
>
>> In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
>> Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>Heydtiest.
>>>
>>>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>>>my review.
>>>>
>>>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>>>I do so.
>>>>
>>>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>>>
>>>> :g/won/one/g
>>>
>>>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>>>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
>>
>> I think he's saying that when he misspells something it's a
>> one-of, but that you misspell consistently.
>>
>> Dorothy J. Heydt
>> Albany, California
>> djheydt [at] kithrup.com
>
>thats called an accent or a style in some places. just like brooklyn
>sounds different than boston sounds different than atlanta sounds different
>than vancouver sounds different than dallas etc..., so there are different
>"accents" in the usenet.
>
>and i think you heydts are awfully silly, considering you understood wavys
>message. and i bet you understand mine even though i ran out of nearly all
>of my life time alottment of apostrophes nine years ago, and my capitals
>are reserved for shouting. so why dont you get past your little personal
>problems and comment on wavys review, filmwise, not spellingwise or
>grammarwise. isnt that what this thread is for? isnt that what the
>subject is about? or am i imagining things again. it happens, you know.
>it could be "Please comment on all my little spelling errors and deviations
>from your personal standard of the english language." i just wouldnt know
>if i were imagining things again.
I know. It's like, what are they going to do next? Bring their two
kids, Bobby and Sally Heydt, into the newsgroup and have them start
calling me a "poopiehead" or something?
>(trying to correct the spelling and grammar of all usenetters you come
>across. sheesh. if ~that~ isnt a losing battle, i dont know what is.
>might as well just apoplexy right now and get it over with. save you a lot
>of frustration and righteous indignation.)
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150353 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 00:20 |
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what a poopiehead.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150354 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 00:31 |
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On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 21:28:49 GMT, in <news:IoqBo1.Ays [at] kithrup.com>, Dorothy
J Heydt wrote:
> In article <1rlil1hqeqat4krhik4lth36pucfvi2bgl [at] 4ax.com>,
> Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>>Heydtiest.
>
> That's easy enough; there have only been two.
>
>
> Dorothy J. Heydt
> Albany, California
> djheydt [at] kithrup.com
only two Wilson Heydts in the history of usenet? wow. cool.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150355 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 00:37 |
|
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 18:04:29 -0400, in
<news:g6pil1dgvqfo1i1iho031p5hcde45qte4b [at] 4ax.com>, Wavy G wrote:
> Of all the Lame-o the Lightning Pheasants I've known, "Lame-o the
> Lightning Pheasant" is the Lame-o the Lightning Pheasantiest.
>
>>[aft-s removed due to my current server being childish]
>>
>>On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 19:10:41 GMT, in <news:Ioq59t.L4E [at] kithrup.com>, Dorothy
>>J Heydt wrote:
>>
>>> In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
>>> Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>>Heydtiest.
>>>>
>>>>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>>>>my review.
>>>>>
>>>>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>>>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>>>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>>>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>>>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>>>>I do so.
>>>>>
>>>>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>>>>
>>>>> :g/won/one/g
>>>>
>>>>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>>>>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
>>>
>>> I think he's saying that when he misspells something it's a
>>> one-of, but that you misspell consistently.
>>>
>>> Dorothy J. Heydt
>>> Albany, California
>>> djheydt [at] kithrup.com
>>
>>thats called an accent or a style in some places. just like brooklyn
>>sounds different than boston sounds different than atlanta sounds different
>>than vancouver sounds different than dallas etc..., so there are different
>>"accents" in the usenet.
>>
>>and i think you heydts are awfully silly, considering you understood wavys
>>message. and i bet you understand mine even though i ran out of nearly all
>>of my life time alottment of apostrophes nine years ago, and my capitals
>>are reserved for shouting. so why dont you get past your little personal
>>problems and comment on wavys review, filmwise, not spellingwise or
>>grammarwise. isnt that what this thread is for? isnt that what the
>>subject is about? or am i imagining things again. it happens, you know.
>>it could be "Please comment on all my little spelling errors and deviations
>>from your personal standard of the english language." i just wouldnt know
>>if i were imagining things again.
>
> I know. It's like, what are they going to do next? Bring their two
> kids, Bobby and Sally Heydt, into the newsgroup and have them start
> calling me a "poopiehead" or something?
shouldnt that be "poopy head?"
>
>>(trying to correct the spelling and grammar of all usenetters you come
>>across. sheesh. if ~that~ isnt a losing battle, i dont know what is.
>>might as well just apoplexy right now and get it over with. save you a lot
>>of frustration and righteous indignation.)
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150356 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 00:40 |
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Of all the Lame-o the Lightning Pheasants I've known, "Lame-o the
Lightning Pheasant" is the Lame-o the Lightning Pheasantiest.
>On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 21:28:49 GMT, in <news:IoqBo1.Ays [at] kithrup.com>, Dorothy
>J Heydt wrote:
>
>> In article <1rlil1hqeqat4krhik4lth36pucfvi2bgl [at] 4ax.com>,
>> Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>>>Heydtiest.
>>
>> That's easy enough; there have only been two.
>>
>>
>> Dorothy J. Heydt
>> Albany, California
>> djheydt [at] kithrup.com
>
>only two Wilson Heydts in the history of usenet? wow. cool.
Yeah, you would think a name like "Wilson Heydt" would be a lot more
common than that. I figured it would be sort of the "John Smith" of
Usenet.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150358 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 00:44 |
|
Alternate review.
The fifth element is my all time (by a long,long way) worst movie of all
time. Somebody once said it looked like it was translated from five
different languages and hearing that it was written by a fifteen year
old is no surprise.
I've never seen a film so vomit inducing in my whole life, where every
single aspect of the film clashes with it's self to produce such a
colossal headache. It's a film that is constantly 'on', constantly
trying to impress; dancing, leaping and begging for attention at every
turn without realising how desperate and vulgar it is. It's like the
drunk at a party who won't leave you alone and doesn't realise how loud
he's being. It has no atmosphere, coherent story, pace or sense of style
beyond throwing every available idea (stolen from multiple sources) at
the screen. It also has probably the most irritating performaces ever in
the shape of Chris Tucker. It has the look and feel of a comedy but it's
not funny, the action scenes aren't exciting and the whole thing has no
drama to speak of because not only do the characters lack motivation for
their actions but don't actaully appear to inhabit the scenes they're
performing in.
Its close cousins are Batman and Robin and Moulan Rougue, if you like
those films you might, might like this but the stories and characters in
both the above are far superior and at least make some kind of sense.
I payed £1 to see this at the cinema and I wanted my money back. I'd
rather sup beer from the arse beard of a tramp than sit through it again.
Wavy G wrote:
> I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
> 1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
> my review.
>
> When I heard The Fifth Element was written by a teenager, I thought,
> "Yeah, that sounds about right." It was, in fact, written by a
> fifteen-year-old Luc Besson, who apparently decided to go ahead and
> make the movie upon reaching adulthood, without going back and making
> any changes to the logic or the story line. That's fine by me,
> because this movie is fantastic! Great looking movie with seamless
> special effects, zany characters, and a wonderfully ridiculous plot,
> which (despite a few lulls) captivates you from start to finish.
>
> Here's the premise: 300 years in the future, a giant ball of evil (I'm
> not joking) is heading towards Earth, as it supposedly does every
> 5,000 years. The only way to stop it is to gather four stones, each
> representing won of the four elements, and place them around this
> "supreme being," or fifth element. Yep. Who'da thought? The problem
> is, 300 years ago, the stones were taken from Earth, and the ship
> which is supposed to return them has been shot down by ugly alien
> mercenaries. Now the world, (or the entire Universe, depending on
> which part of the movie you're watching), is in danger of being
> destroyed, unless the stones can be retrieved in time. And who do you
> call when you need to save the world? Answer: Bruce Willis, of
> course.
>
> Bruce Willis is playing, well...Bruce Willis, as he does so well in
> all his other movies. The difference here is that he seems to have
> borrowed Peter Stormare's hair for this character. We start off with
> the obligatory "Bruce Willis wake up" scene, wherein we catch a
> glimpse of his cramped, futuristic apartment, and we learn that he's a
> cab driver, he used to be some kind of high-ranking military man, and
> his wife left him (this is called "characterization"). Then, while
> out driving his flying taxicab, (because it's the future, see?), an
> attractive, young orange-haired girl falls into his car (literally)
> from out of the sky. She has no identification, speaks gibberish, and
> is wearing nothing but precariously placed bandages.
>
> In the tradition of great science-fiction female names, ("Leia," from
> the Star Wars saga, of course; "Wina," from The Time Machine; "Leela,"
> from TV's "Futurama"), we have "Leeloo," played by Mila Jovovich
> (spelling?). It turns out, Leeloo is this so-called "supreme being,"
> brought back to life by scientists, (again, it's the future), and is
> now looking for a priest named Vito Cornelius, or something, who is
> apparently from a long line of priests who've been keeping this "giant
> ball of evil" thing a secret for 5,000 years.
>
> Anyways, action ensues, plots unfold, and it turns out the stones have
> been given to somewon on a distant planet called Fhlosten, or
> something, which is basically Planet Hawaii, and there just happens to
> be a contest for a trip for two to Fhlosten. Guess who wins it?
>
> Meanwhile, there's this other guy, "Zorg," (who wears a dayglo vampire
> cape and an unexplained plastic headpiece, and looks like a cross
> between Hitler and George McFly), and he's trying to get his hands on
> the stones as well, because he *wants* the big ball of evil to come to
> earth and destroy us all. What's his motivation for that, I have to
> wonder? Well, he explains his motivation, and it still doesn't make
> any sense. I guess that's why he's the evil genius and we aren't. Not
> to worry though; Zorg blows himself up before he gets his hands on the
> stones, and the world is saved after all, (*spoiler*).
>
> In a nutshell, this is not your standard science-fiction movie. It
> has a lot of silly little things that it could do without, but I guess
> those silly little things are what make it so unique. The costumes
> are atrocious (What do you expect from something made by a French
> guy?). Some of the jokes (the mugger in the hallway dancing--wha??)
> go right over my head like a low-flying hovercar. And the music and
> pacing just seem wrong to me. Besson is not trying to go by any
> conventions here, I know. Sometimes, though, it just seems as though,
> with the action, and the whole "giant evil ball of fire coming towards
> the Earth" storyline, that a more traditional approach would have
> worked better for me. Star Wars is praised for following the
> pre-established standards of mythology that we all know and can
> identify with, so should The Fifth Element be panned for deviating
> from those standards? Well, I guess it depends on your point of view.
> It's a postmodern look at the science-fiction genre (What do you
> expect from something made by a French guy?).
>
> Good things:
>
> The sets and everything are simply awe-inspiring. It's an array of
> sights and colours that you really have to see.
>
> Decent chemistry between Willis and Leeloo. Although it may be hard
> to look past the age difference: Bruce Willis must be in his
> mid-to-late-forties, and Leeloo should be at least 5,000 for the story
> to hold up.
>
> Doesn't go out of it's way to exploit it's science-fictionness, like
> won would expect a movie like this to do. Unlike most movies of this
> genre, such as the more recent example, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
> Galaxy, ("Look, it's a little lightsaber for cutting bread"), The
> Fifth Element lets the technology be the backdrop for the story
> (except for won scene where Zorg goes into extraneous detail about his
> new line of multi-purpose firearms).
>
> The Aliens. These are amazing looking. Keep in mind this was
> 1997--pre-Phantom Menace. Since the last Star Wars movie came out,
> the most aliens we had gotten to see, up to this point, were in those
> guys in Star Trek with bowl haircuts and ridges on their noses. Big
> wow. Here we have the ugly mercenaries, called the "Mangalores," and
> these huge, hulking armour-covered beasts (either that, or they're
> robots; again, this is never explained) called "Mandochewans," or
> something. There's also this big, blue opera singer who everywon
> keeps calling a "diva," as if we know the significance of that term. I
> thought "diva" was just something Mariah Carey and Celine Dione refer
> to themselves as? Any insight into this would be appreciated.
>
> My suggestions:
>
> Introduce Chris Tucker's character earlier in the movie, and give him
> less to say. He had WAAAY too much dialogue crammed into the third
> act. The worthless sidekick's ass is only worth being saved by the
> hero if you can grow to like him over the course of a storyline. Here,
> Bruce Willis, (By the way, his character's name is "Korben Dallas." I
> thought I should point that out at this point in the review), is not
> given enough time to do that, (though their won-and-only action scene
> together is pretty good).
>
> Trim the extraneously long scenes and awkward dialogue. You know
> which scenes I'm talking about. The wons where the endless
> world-music songs plays throughout.
>
> Lose the unnecessary parallels, such as the ship readying for takeoff,
> as Chris Tucker gives oral sex to a woman (more than likely only in
> there so the viewers would not think the character is gay, which was
> probly more of a concern in 1997 than would be nowadays).
>
> Oh, and don't cast "Tiny" Lister as the President next time. "We
> don't want a incident!" Are you kidding me? HA HA HA.
>
> As far as the "extra-features" go, there is absolutely nothing on this
> entire two-disc set that gives any kind of insight into this story,
> whatsoever. There are five selections, focusing on five different
> elements of the movie (Get it?), and won extra won about the "diva"
> character. I personally thought the "Diva" featurette should have
> gone under "The Alien Element," along with the other alien
> featurettes, but there seems to be some kind of significance to this
> character that I must be missing. Again, any insight would be
> appreciated. There's no commentary track (though I read that Besson
> "doesn't do commentary tracks"), but there is a "Fact track," which
> displays little tidbits of trivia throughout the movie, and is about
> as useful as a Philosophy major, (It must have been made for them by
> the people at VH-1). There are NO deleted scenes, NO outtakes, not
> even a fucking trailor. Jesus, not even the special features for this
> movie give you what you would expect them to give.
>
> So, if you're a post-modernist, you'll probly watch it and go, "Wow,
> zat vasa reely reely good movie," as you sit cross-legged, listening
> to Frank Zappa, sucking on a cigarette from won of those long
> cigarette holders. But if you're more of a "meat and potatoes"
> science-fiction fan, you'll more than likely stare at it cock-eyed
> just long enough to realise it's just another "Bruce Willis saves the
> world" affair, and sit back and enjoy it for what it is.
>
> Love,
> Wavy G
>
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150360 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 00:47 |
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On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 18:20:44 -0400, in
<news:gYydnQPRb6WQ98TeRVn-ug [at] comcast.com>, Bobby and Sally Heydt wrote:
> what a poopiehead.
isnt that miss speeled?
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150363 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 01:13 |
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"Wavy G" <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote in message
news:cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com...
> I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
> 1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
> my review.
>snip<
What I want to know is what does this have to do with Star Wars
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150366 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 01:38 |
|
In article <pgril1dgl5m066bp3alp17cvj6ua7687gn [at] 4ax.com>,
Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>Of all the Lame-o the Lightning Pheasants I've known, "Lame-o the
>Lightning Pheasant" is the Lame-o the Lightning Pheasantiest.
>
>>On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 21:28:49 GMT, in <news:IoqBo1.Ays [at] kithrup.com>, Dorothy
>>J Heydt wrote:
>>
>>> In article <1rlil1hqeqat4krhik4lth36pucfvi2bgl [at] 4ax.com>,
>>> Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>>>>Heydtiest.
>>>
>>> That's easy enough; there have only been two.
>>>
>>>
>>> Dorothy J. Heydt
>>> Albany, California
>>> djheydt [at] kithrup.com
>>
>>only two Wilson Heydts in the history of usenet? wow. cool.
>
>Yeah, you would think a name like "Wilson Heydt" would be a lot more
>common than that. I figured it would be sort of the "John Smith" of
>Usenet.
To the best of my knowledge (which is pretty good on this point),
the other known "Wilson Heydt" never posted on the internet at all,
no matter how you define it (that is, including usenet).
The avaliable time for him to have posted was relatively short. If
you can find any posts by him, I would be both very surprised and
very interested.
--
Hal Heydt
Albany, CA
My dime, my opinions.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150367 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 01:41 |
|
In article <59e40dnc7vev.ducdrdywqocf.dlg [at] 40tude.net>,
Lame-o the Lightning Pheasant <LL [at] Pheasant.com> wrote:
>(trying to correct the spelling and grammar of all usenetters you come
>across. sheesh. if ~that~ isnt a losing battle, i dont know what is.
>might as well just apoplexy right now and get it over with. save you a lot
>of frustration and righteous indignation.)
My prefacing remarks were to explain that I do such things rarely.
That's the first global spelling correction I've done in several
years, so, no, I'm not out to correct spelling variations on the net
generally. I did that one because the error was both glaring and
consistent. I don't by the "accent" explanation, either.
--
Hal Heydt
Albany, CA
My dime, my opinions.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150368 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 01:44 |
|
In article <g6pil1dgvqfo1i1iho031p5hcde45qte4b [at] 4ax.com>,
Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>I know. It's like, what are they going to do next? Bring their two
>kids, Bobby and Sally Heydt, into the newsgroup and have them start
>calling me a "poopiehead" or something?
Our two kids (you have the names wrong...so much for research) are
old enough to make their own decisions. (Indeed, they are problaby
older that a fair number of the other people posting here.) So far
as I know, niether of them read any of the newsgroups invloved in \
this thread. Sorry to disappoint you...
--
Hal Heydt
Albany, CA
My dime, my opinions.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150369 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 01:47 |
|
In article <klnil11nbep5jpeb273nrp7d48ufln0epe [at] 4ax.com>,
Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>Heydtiest.
>
>>In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>Heydtiest.
>>>
>>>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>>>my review.
>>>>
>>>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>>>I do so.
>>>>
>>>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>>>
>>>> :g/won/one/g
>>>
>>>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>>>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
>>
>>As I noted, I *generally* don't do so. It was the consistent
>>erroneous use of a homophone that induced me to do it this time.
>>The rest is explanation that I do not do such things on a routine
>>basis. YMMV.
>
>"Consistent erroneous use of a homophone"? Could you possibly throw a
>few more sesquipedalian words in there? I know, you're very proud of
>your new dictionary you got--as you very well should be--but this is
>only Usenet, pal. The most you're going to accomplish with that
>gingerbread writing style is possibly impress a few geeks from
>rec.arts.sf.composition.
Let's see... I think the newest dictionary in the house dates from
the mid-1970s, so that explanation is out.
--
Hal Heydt
Albany, CA
My dime, my opinions.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150371 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 02:16 |
|
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 23:41:36 GMT, in <news:IoqHtC.M9n [at] kithrup.com>, Wilson
Heydt wrote:
> In article <59e40dnc7vev.ducdrdywqocf.dlg [at] 40tude.net>,
> Lame-o the Lightning Pheasant <LL [at] Pheasant.com> wrote:
>>(trying to correct the spelling and grammar of all usenetters you come
>>across. sheesh. if ~that~ isnt a losing battle, i dont know what is.
>>might as well just apoplexy right now and get it over with. save you a lot
>>of frustration and righteous indignation.)
>
> My prefacing remarks were to explain that I do such things rarely.
> That's the first global spelling correction I've done in several
> years, so, no, I'm not out to correct spelling variations on the net
> generally. I did that one because the error was both glaring and
> consistent. I don't by the "accent" explanation, either.
>
> --
> Hal Heydt
> Albany, CA
>
> My dime, my opinions.
its not "by", spellwanker. its "buy". if you want me to spell check your
last post, just ask, idiot. how was that? did you like being corrected?
do you want me to correct your other posts?
well, then, since you dont believe in different accents or styles depending
on usenet location, i see no reason to deny you all the laughter and
derision you deserve. if you are so hardened that you cant play with the
english language, gods i hope you arent in charge of anything serious.
complicated play is THE single hallmark of intelligent life. dolphins.
primates. humans. there are other hallmarks, but complex play is a very
major one. obviously, you dont seem to be up to it. so, obviously, you
dont seem up to classification as an intelligent lifeform. perhaps a fixed
pattern recognizer like an ant, but not a human by any stretch of the
imagination.
yours
dave
<smoochsmooch>
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150372 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 02:06 |
|
In article <59e40dnc7vev.ducdrdywqocf.dlg [at] 40tude.net>,
Lame-o the Lightning Pheasant <LL [at] Pheasant.com> wrote:
>
>... so why dont you get past your little personal
>problems and comment on wavys review, filmwise, not spellingwise or
>grammarwise.
Well, because I thought _T5E_ was one of the stupidest things
ever put to celluloid, though considering what Milholland just
said about _The Apple_, it may have it beat.
isnt that what this thread is for?
The original subject of the thread, being a film review, doesn't
belong on rec.arts.sf.composition at all.
Nor, I daresay, on nine-tenths of the other things it got
crossposted to.
Dorothy J. Heydt
Albany, California
djheydt [at] kithrup.com
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150373 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 02:30 |
|
On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 23:47:08 GMT, in <news:IoqI2K.Ms0 [at] kithrup.com>, Wilson
Heydt wrote:
> In article <klnil11nbep5jpeb273nrp7d48ufln0epe [at] 4ax.com>,
> Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>Heydtiest.
>>
>>>In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>>Heydtiest.
>>>>
>>>>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>>>>my review.
>>>>>
>>>>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>>>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>>>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>>>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>>>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>>>>I do so.
>>>>>
>>>>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>>>>
>>>>> :g/won/one/g
>>>>
>>>>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>>>>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
>>>
>>>As I noted, I *generally* don't do so. It was the consistent
>>>erroneous use of a homophone that induced me to do it this time.
>>>The rest is explanation that I do not do such things on a routine
>>>basis. YMMV.
>>
>>"Consistent erroneous use of a homophone"? Could you possibly throw a
>>few more sesquipedalian words in there? I know, you're very proud of
>>your new dictionary you got--as you very well should be--but this is
>>only Usenet, pal. The most you're going to accomplish with that
>>gingerbread writing style is possibly impress a few geeks from
>>rec.arts.sf.composition.
>
> Let's see... I think the newest dictionary in the house dates from
> the mid-1970s, so that explanation is out.
are you still assuming dictionaries rule in usenet? how quaint.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150376 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 03:00 |
|
On Sat, 22 Oct 2005 00:06:00 GMT, in <news:IoqIy0.x5 [at] kithrup.com>, Dorothy
J Heydt wrote:
> In article <59e40dnc7vev.ducdrdywqocf.dlg [at] 40tude.net>,
> Lame-o the Lightning Pheasant <LL [at] Pheasant.com> wrote:
>>
>>... so why dont you get past your little personal
>>problems and comment on wavys review, filmwise, not spellingwise or
>>grammarwise.
>
> Well, because I thought _T5E_ was one of the stupidest things
> ever put to celluloid, though considering what Milholland just
> said about _The Apple_, it may have it beat.
>
> isnt that what this thread is for?
yes indeed! but you really think its the stupidest thing ever put on
celluloid? you wouldnt put plan 9 from outerspace, or food of the gods, or
anything from the fifties as stupider? do you have working eyes? does
your brain chip in and out every 15 minutes?
> The original subject of the thread, being a film review, doesn't
> belong on rec.arts.sf.composition at all.
well, what the hell IS it for, hmmm? and why would you and your husband
reply from it to an off topic thread? hmmm?
> Nor, I daresay, on nine-tenths of the other things it got
> crossposted to.
you daresay. dorothy, how many newsgroups HAVE you ever subscribed to,
hmmm? how well travelled are you?
> Dorothy J. Heydt
> Albany, California
> djheydt [at] kithrup.com
im guessing albany, california, is a homogenized, safe, well defined town,
where everyone knows there place.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150377 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 02:52 |
|
In article <1fyalefvydllb.10ftm5wjnt55o.dlg [at] 40tude.net>,
Lame-o the Lightning Pheasant <LL [at] Pheasant.com> wrote:
>On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 23:47:08 GMT, in <news:IoqI2K.Ms0 [at] kithrup.com>, Wilson
>Heydt wrote:
>
>> In article <klnil11nbep5jpeb273nrp7d48ufln0epe [at] 4ax.com>,
>> Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>Heydtiest.
>>>
>>>>In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>>>Heydtiest.
>>>>>
>>>>>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>>>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>>>>>my review.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>>>>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>>>>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>>>>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>>>>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>>>>>I do so.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> :g/won/one/g
>>>>>
>>>>>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>>>>>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
>>>>
>>>>As I noted, I *generally* don't do so. It was the consistent
>>>>erroneous use of a homophone that induced me to do it this time.
>>>>The rest is explanation that I do not do such things on a routine
>>>>basis. YMMV.
>>>
>>>"Consistent erroneous use of a homophone"? Could you possibly throw a
>>>few more sesquipedalian words in there? I know, you're very proud of
>>>your new dictionary you got--as you very well should be--but this is
>>>only Usenet, pal. The most you're going to accomplish with that
>>>gingerbread writing style is possibly impress a few geeks from
>>>rec.arts.sf.composition.
>>
>> Let's see... I think the newest dictionary in the house dates from
>> the mid-1970s, so that explanation is out.
>
>are you still assuming dictionaries rule in usenet? how quaint.
"Still" is an exageration in its own right. I merely responded to
an assertion that I must be using a recently acquired one. The
assertion was false to begin with.
--
Hal Heydt
Albany, CA
My dime, my opinions.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150379 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 03:43 |
|
Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
Heydtiest.
>In article <pgril1dgl5m066bp3alp17cvj6ua7687gn [at] 4ax.com>,
>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>Of all the Lame-o the Lightning Pheasants I've known, "Lame-o the
>>Lightning Pheasant" is the Lame-o the Lightning Pheasantiest.
>>
>>>On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 21:28:49 GMT, in <news:IoqBo1.Ays [at] kithrup.com>, Dorothy
>>>J Heydt wrote:
>>>
>>>> In article <1rlil1hqeqat4krhik4lth36pucfvi2bgl [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>> Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>>>>>Heydtiest.
>>>>
>>>> That's easy enough; there have only been two.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Dorothy J. Heydt
>>>> Albany, California
>>>> djheydt [at] kithrup.com
>>>
>>>only two Wilson Heydts in the history of usenet? wow. cool.
>>
>>Yeah, you would think a name like "Wilson Heydt" would be a lot more
>>common than that. I figured it would be sort of the "John Smith" of
>>Usenet.
>
>To the best of my knowledge (which is pretty good on this point),
>the other known "Wilson Heydt" never posted on the internet at all,
>no matter how you define it (that is, including usenet).
>
>The avaliable time for him to have posted was relatively short. If
>you can find any posts by him, I would be both very surprised and
>very interested.
OK, I get it. This is some kind of riddle. Did the other Wilson
Heydt just recently get out of prison?
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150382 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 03:48 |
|
Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
Heydtiest.
>In article <59e40dnc7vev.ducdrdywqocf.dlg [at] 40tude.net>,
>Lame-o the Lightning Pheasant <LL [at] Pheasant.com> wrote:
>>(trying to correct the spelling and grammar of all usenetters you come
>>across. sheesh. if ~that~ isnt a losing battle, i dont know what is.
>>might as well just apoplexy right now and get it over with. save you a lot
>>of frustration and righteous indignation.)
>
>My prefacing remarks were to explain that I do such things rarely.
>That's the first global spelling correction I've done in several
>years, so, no, I'm not out to correct spelling variations on the net
>generally. I did that one because the error was both glaring and
>consistent. I don't by the "accent" explanation, either.
^^
If you only knew what kind of hole you were digging for yourself when
you first started flaming me for my spelling...
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150383 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 03:47 |
|
In message <2zdmz6a5k8xx$.1sy02gmfnartw$.dlg [at] 40tude.net>, Lame-o the
Lightning Pheasant <LL [at] Pheasant.com> writes
>
>> In article <59e40dnc7vev.ducdrdywqocf.dlg [at] 40tude.net>,
>> Lame-o the Lightning Pheasant <LL [at] Pheasant.com> wrote:
>>>(trying to correct the spelling and grammar of all usenetters you come
>>>across. sheesh. if ~that~ isnt a losing battle, i dont know what is.
>>>might as well just apoplexy right now and get it over with. save you a lot
>>>of frustration and righteous indignation.)
<Snip>
>
>its not "by", spellwanker. its "buy". if you want me to spell check your
>last post, just ask, idiot. how was that? did you like being corrected?
>do you want me to correct your other posts?
I don't think I've ever killfiled an inhabitant of
rec.arts.sf.composition before... Congratulations.
--
Jacey Bedford
jacey at artisan hyphen harmony dot com
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150388 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 05:10 |
|
In message <nb6jl1djef53okdp0n6hmjjut35ovjom41 [at] 4ax.com>, Wavy G
<prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> writes
> ^^
>If you only knew what kind of hole you were digging for yourself when
>you first started flaming me for my spelling...
<Plonk>
--
Jacey Bedford
jacey at artisan hyphen harmony dot com
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150391 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 05:43 |
|
On Sat, 22 Oct 2005 04:10:20 +0100, in alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk,
<$sZtb+bc2aWDFwjl [at] artifact.demon.co.uk>, Jacey Bedford
<lookinsig [at] nospam.invalid> humped my leg thusly:
>In message <nb6jl1djef53okdp0n6hmjjut35ovjom41 [at] 4ax.com>, Wavy G
><prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> writes
>> ^^
>>If you only knew what kind of hole you were digging for yourself when
>>you first started flaming me for my spelling...
>
><Plonk>
<Plonk>
<munch>
--
dave hillstrom
Vote Dave Hillstrom for Whining Whinger in AUK October 2005
the belgians are STILL thieves.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150394 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 06:19 |
|
I hate it when people do reviews of films and give an overview of the story
instead of just talking about the technology the film is on. Magazines do
it and you do it. Nevermind the film, talk about if there is an improvement
in quality and if there was a need to re-release the film yet again.
"Wavy G" <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote in message
news:cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com...
>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
> 1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
> my review.
>
> When I heard The Fifth Element was written by a teenager, I thought,
> "Yeah, that sounds about right." It was, in fact, written by a
> fifteen-year-old Luc Besson, who apparently decided to go ahead and
> make the movie upon reaching adulthood, without going back and making
> any changes to the logic or the story line. That's fine by me,
> because this movie is fantastic! Great looking movie with seamless
> special effects, zany characters, and a wonderfully ridiculous plot,
> which (despite a few lulls) captivates you from start to finish.
>
> Here's the premise: 300 years in the future, a giant ball of evil (I'm
> not joking) is heading towards Earth, as it supposedly does every
> 5,000 years. The only way to stop it is to gather four stones, each
> representing won of the four elements, and place them around this
> "supreme being," or fifth element. Yep. Who'da thought? The problem
> is, 300 years ago, the stones were taken from Earth, and the ship
> which is supposed to return them has been shot down by ugly alien
> mercenaries. Now the world, (or the entire Universe, depending on
> which part of the movie you're watching), is in danger of being
> destroyed, unless the stones can be retrieved in time. And who do you
> call when you need to save the world? Answer: Bruce Willis, of
> course.
>
> Bruce Willis is playing, well...Bruce Willis, as he does so well in
> all his other movies. The difference here is that he seems to have
> borrowed Peter Stormare's hair for this character. We start off with
> the obligatory "Bruce Willis wake up" scene, wherein we catch a
> glimpse of his cramped, futuristic apartment, and we learn that he's a
> cab driver, he used to be some kind of high-ranking military man, and
> his wife left him (this is called "characterization"). Then, while
> out driving his flying taxicab, (because it's the future, see?), an
> attractive, young orange-haired girl falls into his car (literally)
> from out of the sky. She has no identification, speaks gibberish, and
> is wearing nothing but precariously placed bandages.
>
> In the tradition of great science-fiction female names, ("Leia," from
> the Star Wars saga, of course; "Wina," from The Time Machine; "Leela,"
> from TV's "Futurama"), we have "Leeloo," played by Mila Jovovich
> (spelling?). It turns out, Leeloo is this so-called "supreme being,"
> brought back to life by scientists, (again, it's the future), and is
> now looking for a priest named Vito Cornelius, or something, who is
> apparently from a long line of priests who've been keeping this "giant
> ball of evil" thing a secret for 5,000 years.
>
> Anyways, action ensues, plots unfold, and it turns out the stones have
> been given to somewon on a distant planet called Fhlosten, or
> something, which is basically Planet Hawaii, and there just happens to
> be a contest for a trip for two to Fhlosten. Guess who wins it?
>
> Meanwhile, there's this other guy, "Zorg," (who wears a dayglo vampire
> cape and an unexplained plastic headpiece, and looks like a cross
> between Hitler and George McFly), and he's trying to get his hands on
> the stones as well, because he *wants* the big ball of evil to come to
> earth and destroy us all. What's his motivation for that, I have to
> wonder? Well, he explains his motivation, and it still doesn't make
> any sense. I guess that's why he's the evil genius and we aren't. Not
> to worry though; Zorg blows himself up before he gets his hands on the
> stones, and the world is saved after all, (*spoiler*).
>
> In a nutshell, this is not your standard science-fiction movie. It
> has a lot of silly little things that it could do without, but I guess
> those silly little things are what make it so unique. The costumes
> are atrocious (What do you expect from something made by a French
> guy?). Some of the jokes (the mugger in the hallway dancing--wha??)
> go right over my head like a low-flying hovercar. And the music and
> pacing just seem wrong to me. Besson is not trying to go by any
> conventions here, I know. Sometimes, though, it just seems as though,
> with the action, and the whole "giant evil ball of fire coming towards
> the Earth" storyline, that a more traditional approach would have
> worked better for me. Star Wars is praised for following the
> pre-established standards of mythology that we all know and can
> identify with, so should The Fifth Element be panned for deviating
> from those standards? Well, I guess it depends on your point of view.
> It's a postmodern look at the science-fiction genre (What do you
> expect from something made by a French guy?).
>
> Good things:
>
> The sets and everything are simply awe-inspiring. It's an array of
> sights and colours that you really have to see.
>
> Decent chemistry between Willis and Leeloo. Although it may be hard
> to look past the age difference: Bruce Willis must be in his
> mid-to-late-forties, and Leeloo should be at least 5,000 for the story
> to hold up.
>
> Doesn't go out of it's way to exploit it's science-fictionness, like
> won would expect a movie like this to do. Unlike most movies of this
> genre, such as the more recent example, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
> Galaxy, ("Look, it's a little lightsaber for cutting bread"), The
> Fifth Element lets the technology be the backdrop for the story
> (except for won scene where Zorg goes into extraneous detail about his
> new line of multi-purpose firearms).
>
> The Aliens. These are amazing looking. Keep in mind this was
> 1997--pre-Phantom Menace. Since the last Star Wars movie came out,
> the most aliens we had gotten to see, up to this point, were in those
> guys in Star Trek with bowl haircuts and ridges on their noses. Big
> wow. Here we have the ugly mercenaries, called the "Mangalores," and
> these huge, hulking armour-covered beasts (either that, or they're
> robots; again, this is never explained) called "Mandochewans," or
> something. There's also this big, blue opera singer who everywon
> keeps calling a "diva," as if we know the significance of that term. I
> thought "diva" was just something Mariah Carey and Celine Dione refer
> to themselves as? Any insight into this would be appreciated.
>
> My suggestions:
>
> Introduce Chris Tucker's character earlier in the movie, and give him
> less to say. He had WAAAY too much dialogue crammed into the third
> act. The worthless sidekick's ass is only worth being saved by the
> hero if you can grow to like him over the course of a storyline. Here,
> Bruce Willis, (By the way, his character's name is "Korben Dallas." I
> thought I should point that out at this point in the review), is not
> given enough time to do that, (though their won-and-only action scene
> together is pretty good).
>
> Trim the extraneously long scenes and awkward dialogue. You know
> which scenes I'm talking about. The wons where the endless
> world-music songs plays throughout.
>
> Lose the unnecessary parallels, such as the ship readying for takeoff,
> as Chris Tucker gives oral sex to a woman (more than likely only in
> there so the viewers would not think the character is gay, which was
> probly more of a concern in 1997 than would be nowadays).
>
> Oh, and don't cast "Tiny" Lister as the President next time. "We
> don't want a incident!" Are you kidding me? HA HA HA.
>
> As far as the "extra-features" go, there is absolutely nothing on this
> entire two-disc set that gives any kind of insight into this story,
> whatsoever. There are five selections, focusing on five different
> elements of the movie (Get it?), and won extra won about the "diva"
> character. I personally thought the "Diva" featurette should have
> gone under "The Alien Element," along with the other alien
> featurettes, but there seems to be some kind of significance to this
> character that I must be missing. Again, any insight would be
> appreciated. There's no commentary track (though I read that Besson
> "doesn't do commentary tracks"), but there is a "Fact track," which
> displays little tidbits of trivia throughout the movie, and is about
> as useful as a Philosophy major, (It must have been made for them by
> the people at VH-1). There are NO deleted scenes, NO outtakes, not
> even a fucking trailor. Jesus, not even the special features for this
> movie give you what you would expect them to give.
>
> So, if you're a post-modernist, you'll probly watch it and go, "Wow,
> zat vasa reely reely good movie," as you sit cross-legged, listening
> to Frank Zappa, sucking on a cigarette from won of those long
> cigarette holders. But if you're more of a "meat and potatoes"
> science-fiction fan, you'll more than likely stare at it cock-eyed
> just long enough to realise it's just another "Bruce Willis saves the
> world" affair, and sit back and enjoy it for what it is.
>
> Love,
> Wavy G
>
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150400 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 02:43 |
|
"Wavy G" <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote in message
news:klnil11nbep5jpeb273nrp7d48ufln0epe [at] 4ax.com...
> Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
> Heydtiest.
>
>>In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>Heydtiest.
>>>
>>>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>>>my review.
>>>>
>>>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>>>I do so.
>>>>
>>>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>>>
>>>> :g/won/one/g
>>>
>>>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>>>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
>>
>>As I noted, I *generally* don't do so. It was the consistent
>>erroneous use of a homophone that induced me to do it this time.
>>The rest is explanation that I do not do such things on a routine
>>basis. YMMV.
>
> "Consistent erroneous use of a homophone"? Could you possibly throw a
> few more sesquipedalian words in there? I know, you're very proud of
> your new dictionary you got--as you very well should be--but this is
> only Usenet, pal. The most you're going to accomplish with that
> gingerbread writing style is possibly impress a few geeks from
> rec.arts.sf.composition.
Wavy, it's quite possible, given your extensive cross-posting in this
thread, that you are arguing with a post-modernist.
Give it up now, before it eats your brane.
TK
PS Either that, or go read some Derrida. Yeah. That should help.
|
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150401 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 10:45 |
|
Of all the Guests I've known, "Guest" is the Guestiest.
>I hate it when people do reviews of films and give an overview of the story
>instead of just talking about the technology the film is on.
How am I supposed to do a film review without talking about the film
itself?
Can you give me an example of any movie review where the film critic
goes into in-depth detail about a bunch of random uses of
"technology," and makes no mention of the film or its story? It seems
that would tend to get kind of confusing after you do two or three
like that.
>Magazines do it and you do it.
Oh gee, and books, and television shows do it too. Do you think maybe
they're onto something here?
>Nevermind the film, talk about if there is an improvement
>in quality and if there was a need to re-release the film yet again.
What? An improvement in the quality? Improvement over what??? Oh,
wait...Did you think because it was called "The Fifth Element," that
there were four others in a series?
>"Wavy G" <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote in message
>news:cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com...
>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>> 1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>> my review.
>>
>> When I heard The Fifth Element was written by a teenager, I thought,
>> "Yeah, that sounds about right." It was, in fact, written by a
>> fifteen-year-old Luc Besson, who apparently decided to go ahead and
>> make the movie upon reaching adulthood, without going back and making
>> any changes to the logic or the story line. That's fine by me,
>> because this movie is fantastic! Great looking movie with seamless
>> special effects, zany characters, and a wonderfully ridiculous plot,
>> which (despite a few lulls) captivates you from start to finish.
>>
>> Here's the premise: 300 years in the future, a giant ball of evil (I'm
>> not joking) is heading towards Earth, as it supposedly does every
>> 5,000 years. The only way to stop it is to gather four stones, each
>> representing won of the four elements, and place them around this
>> "supreme being," or fifth element. Yep. Who'da thought? The problem
>> is, 300 years ago, the stones were taken from Earth, and the ship
>> which is supposed to return them has been shot down by ugly alien
>> mercenaries. Now the world, (or the entire Universe, depending on
>> which part of the movie you're watching), is in danger of being
>> destroyed, unless the stones can be retrieved in time. And who do you
>> call when you need to save the world? Answer: Bruce Willis, of
>> course.
>>
>> Bruce Willis is playing, well...Bruce Willis, as he does so well in
>> all his other movies. The difference here is that he seems to have
>> borrowed Peter Stormare's hair for this character. We start off with
>> the obligatory "Bruce Willis wake up" scene, wherein we catch a
>> glimpse of his cramped, futuristic apartment, and we learn that he's a
>> cab driver, he used to be some kind of high-ranking military man, and
>> his wife left him (this is called "characterization"). Then, while
>> out driving his flying taxicab, (because it's the future, see?), an
>> attractive, young orange-haired girl falls into his car (literally)
>> from out of the sky. She has no identification, speaks gibberish, and
>> is wearing nothing but precariously placed bandages.
>>
>> In the tradition of great science-fiction female names, ("Leia," from
>> the Star Wars saga, of course; "Wina," from The Time Machine; "Leela,"
>> from TV's "Futurama"), we have "Leeloo," played by Mila Jovovich
>> (spelling?). It turns out, Leeloo is this so-called "supreme being,"
>> brought back to life by scientists, (again, it's the future), and is
>> now looking for a priest named Vito Cornelius, or something, who is
>> apparently from a long line of priests who've been keeping this "giant
>> ball of evil" thing a secret for 5,000 years.
>>
>> Anyways, action ensues, plots unfold, and it turns out the stones have
>> been given to somewon on a distant planet called Fhlosten, or
>> something, which is basically Planet Hawaii, and there just happens to
>> be a contest for a trip for two to Fhlosten. Guess who wins it?
>>
>> Meanwhile, there's this other guy, "Zorg," (who wears a dayglo vampire
>> cape and an unexplained plastic headpiece, and looks like a cross
>> between Hitler and George McFly), and he's trying to get his hands on
>> the stones as well, because he *wants* the big ball of evil to come to
>> earth and destroy us all. What's his motivation for that, I have to
>> wonder? Well, he explains his motivation, and it still doesn't make
>> any sense. I guess that's why he's the evil genius and we aren't. Not
>> to worry though; Zorg blows himself up before he gets his hands on the
>> stones, and the world is saved after all, (*spoiler*).
>>
>> In a nutshell, this is not your standard science-fiction movie. It
>> has a lot of silly little things that it could do without, but I guess
>> those silly little things are what make it so unique. The costumes
>> are atrocious (What do you expect from something made by a French
>> guy?). Some of the jokes (the mugger in the hallway dancing--wha??)
>> go right over my head like a low-flying hovercar. And the music and
>> pacing just seem wrong to me. Besson is not trying to go by any
>> conventions here, I know. Sometimes, though, it just seems as though,
>> with the action, and the whole "giant evil ball of fire coming towards
>> the Earth" storyline, that a more traditional approach would have
>> worked better for me. Star Wars is praised for following the
>> pre-established standards of mythology that we all know and can
>> identify with, so should The Fifth Element be panned for deviating
>> from those standards? Well, I guess it depends on your point of view.
>> It's a postmodern look at the science-fiction genre (What do you
>> expect from something made by a French guy?).
>>
>> Good things:
>>
>> The sets and everything are simply awe-inspiring. It's an array of
>> sights and colours that you really have to see.
>>
>> Decent chemistry between Willis and Leeloo. Although it may be hard
>> to look past the age difference: Bruce Willis must be in his
>> mid-to-late-forties, and Leeloo should be at least 5,000 for the story
>> to hold up.
>>
>> Doesn't go out of it's way to exploit it's science-fictionness, like
>> won would expect a movie like this to do. Unlike most movies of this
>> genre, such as the more recent example, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
>> Galaxy, ("Look, it's a little lightsaber for cutting bread"), The
>> Fifth Element lets the technology be the backdrop for the story
>> (except for won scene where Zorg goes into extraneous detail about his
>> new line of multi-purpose firearms).
>>
>> The Aliens. These are amazing looking. Keep in mind this was
>> 1997--pre-Phantom Menace. Since the last Star Wars movie came out,
>> the most aliens we had gotten to see, up to this point, were in those
>> guys in Star Trek with bowl haircuts and ridges on their noses. Big
>> wow. Here we have the ugly mercenaries, called the "Mangalores," and
>> these huge, hulking armour-covered beasts (either that, or they're
>> robots; again, this is never explained) called "Mandochewans," or
>> something. There's also this big, blue opera singer who everywon
>> keeps calling a "diva," as if we know the significance of that term. I
>> thought "diva" was just something Mariah Carey and Celine Dione refer
>> to themselves as? Any insight into this would be appreciated.
>>
>> My suggestions:
>>
>> Introduce Chris Tucker's character earlier in the movie, and give him
>> less to say. He had WAAAY too much dialogue crammed into the third
>> act. The worthless sidekick's ass is only worth being saved by the
>> hero if you can grow to like him over the course of a storyline. Here,
>> Bruce Willis, (By the way, his character's name is "Korben Dallas." I
>> thought I should point that out at this point in the review), is not
>> given enough time to do that, (though their won-and-only action scene
>> together is pretty good).
>>
>> Trim the extraneously long scenes and awkward dialogue. You know
>> which scenes I'm talking about. The wons where the endless
>> world-music songs plays throughout.
>>
>> Lose the unnecessary parallels, such as the ship readying for takeoff,
>> as Chris Tucker gives oral sex to a woman (more than likely only in
>> there so the viewers would not think the character is gay, which was
>> probly more of a concern in 1997 than would be nowadays).
>>
>> Oh, and don't cast "Tiny" Lister as the President next time. "We
>> don't want a incident!" Are you kidding me? HA HA HA.
>>
>> As far as the "extra-features" go, there is absolutely nothing on this
>> entire two-disc set that gives any kind of insight into this story,
>> whatsoever. There are five selections, focusing on five different
>> elements of the movie (Get it?), and won extra won about the "diva"
>> character. I personally thought the "Diva" featurette should have
>> gone under "The Alien Element," along with the other alien
>> featurettes, but there seems to be some kind of significance to this
>> character that I must be missing. Again, any insight would be
>> appreciated. There's no commentary track (though I read that Besson
>> "doesn't do commentary tracks"), but there is a "Fact track," which
>> displays little tidbits of trivia throughout the movie, and is about
>> as useful as a Philosophy major, (It must have been made for them by
>> the people at VH-1). There are NO deleted scenes, NO outtakes, not
>> even a fucking trailor. Jesus, not even the special features for this
>> movie give you what you would expect them to give.
>>
>> So, if you're a post-modernist, you'll probly watch it and go, "Wow,
>> zat vasa reely reely good movie," as you sit cross-legged, listening
>> to Frank Zappa, sucking on a cigarette from won of those long
>> cigarette holders. But if you're more of a "meat and potatoes"
>> science-fiction fan, you'll more than likely stare at it cock-eyed
>> just long enough to realise it's just another "Bruce Willis saves the
>> world" affair, and sit back and enjoy it for what it is.
>>
>> Love,
>> Wavy G
>>
>
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150402 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 10:53 |
|
Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
Heydtiest.
>In article <1fyalefvydllb.10ftm5wjnt55o.dlg [at] 40tude.net>,
>Lame-o the Lightning Pheasant <LL [at] Pheasant.com> wrote:
>>On Fri, 21 Oct 2005 23:47:08 GMT, in <news:IoqI2K.Ms0 [at] kithrup.com>, Wilson
>>Heydt wrote:
>>
>>> In article <klnil11nbep5jpeb273nrp7d48ufln0epe [at] 4ax.com>,
>>> Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>>Heydtiest.
>>>>
>>>>>In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>>>>Heydtiest.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>>>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>>>>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>>>>>>my review.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>>>>>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>>>>>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>>>>>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>>>>>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>>>>>>I do so.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> :g/won/one/g
>>>>>>
>>>>>>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>>>>>>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
>>>>>
>>>>>As I noted, I *generally* don't do so. It was the consistent
>>>>>erroneous use of a homophone that induced me to do it this time.
>>>>>The rest is explanation that I do not do such things on a routine
>>>>>basis. YMMV.
>>>>
>>>>"Consistent erroneous use of a homophone"? Could you possibly throw a
>>>>few more sesquipedalian words in there? I know, you're very proud of
>>>>your new dictionary you got--as you very well should be--but this is
>>>>only Usenet, pal. The most you're going to accomplish with that
>>>>gingerbread writing style is possibly impress a few geeks from
>>>>rec.arts.sf.composition.
>>>
>>> Let's see... I think the newest dictionary in the house dates from
>>> the mid-1970s, so that explanation is out.
>>
>>are you still assuming dictionaries rule in usenet? how quaint.
>
>"Still" is an exageration in its own right. I merely responded to
>an assertion that I must be using a recently acquired one. The
>assertion was false to begin with.
I find it interesting that the only retort you have to my statement
about your using a dictionary to populate your purple prose with long
words, is that the dictionary you're using is not new.
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150403 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 10:57 |
|
Of all the Jacey Bedfords I've known, "Jacey Bedford" is the Jacey
Bedfordiest.
>In message <nb6jl1djef53okdp0n6hmjjut35ovjom41 [at] 4ax.com>, Wavy G
><prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> writes
>> ^^
>>If you only knew what kind of hole you were digging for yourself when
>>you first started flaming me for my spelling...
>
><Plonk>
Wilson Heydt makes spelling flames about me when he can't even spell
himself, and *I* get plonked. This just doesn't seem fair. Are you
related to the Heydts?
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150404 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 11:16 |
|
Of all the Tara K.s I've known, "Tara K." is the Tara K.iest.
>"Wavy G" <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote in message
>news:klnil11nbep5jpeb273nrp7d48ufln0epe [at] 4ax.com...
>> Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>> Heydtiest.
>>
>>>In article <jb9il1959g8ri0arbmcdt5i0iuulhjg8pd [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>Of all the Wilson Heydts I've known, "Wilson Heydt" is the Wilson
>>>>Heydtiest.
>>>>
>>>>>In article <cj2hl1pb00nnjsh5879i53jfviqrtbq1ca [at] 4ax.com>,
>>>>>Wavy G <prettiestboy [at] wavyg.gov> wrote:
>>>>>>I just purchased the new "Ultimate Edition" 2-disc DVD release of the
>>>>>>1997 science-fiction cult-classic, The Fifth Element. Here, now, is
>>>>>>my review.
>>>>>
>>>>>I generally avoid commenting on spelling. This is for two
>>>>>fundamental reasons. The first being, that while my own spelling is
>>>>>generally okay, I have my blind spots and it's not fair to criticize
>>>>>others for the same sorts of things I know that I do. The second is
>>>>>that I almost invariably make amajor typo or grammactical error when
>>>>>I do so.
>>>>>
>>>>>Having said all that...ht eposting needed a simple vi command:
>>>>>
>>>>> :g/won/one/g
>>>>
>>>>So, do your "fundamental reasons" for not commenting on spelling apply
>>>>to whatever the hell you're trying to say here?
>>>
>>>As I noted, I *generally* don't do so. It was the consistent
>>>erroneous use of a homophone that induced me to do it this time.
>>>The rest is explanation that I do not do such things on a routine
>>>basis. YMMV.
>>
>> "Consistent erroneous use of a homophone"? Could you possibly throw a
>> few more sesquipedalian words in there? I know, you're very proud of
>> your new dictionary you got--as you very well should be--but this is
>> only Usenet, pal. The most you're going to accomplish with that
>> gingerbread writing style is possibly impress a few geeks from
>> rec.arts.sf.composition.
>
>Wavy, it's quite possible, given your extensive cross-posting in this
>thread, that you are arguing with a post-modernist.
Oh shit. Let me run around in a circle, and bang my head with a book.
That might be just as effective.
Thanks for the "head's up," T.
>
>Give it up now, before it eats your brane.
>
>TK
>
>PS Either that, or go read some Derrida. Yeah. That should help.
>
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| Re: Just Purchased The Fifth Element "Ultimate Edtion" DVD [message #150411 ] |
Sa, 22 Oktober 2005 18:59 |
|
On Sat, 22 Oct 2005 02:47:07 +0100, in
<news:afIUHSYboZWDFwUL [at] artifact.demon.co.uk>, Jacey Bedford wrote:
> In message <2zdmz6a5k8xx$.1sy02gmfnartw$.dlg [at] 40tude.net>, Lame-o the
> Lightning Pheasant <LL [at] Pheasant.com> writes
>>
>>> In article <59e40dnc7vev.ducdrdywqocf.dlg [at] 40tude.net>,
>>> Lame-o the Lightning Pheasant <LL [at] Pheasant.com> wrote:
>>>>(trying to correct the spelling and grammar of all usenetters you come
>>>>across. sheesh. if ~that~ isnt a losing battle, i dont know what is.
>>>>might as well just apoplexy right now and get it over with. save you a lot
>>>>of frustration and righteous indignation.)
> <Snip>
>>
>>its not "by", spellwanker. its "buy". if you want me to spell check your
>>last post, just ask, idiot. how was that? did you like being corrected?
>>do you want me to correct your other posts?
>
> I don't think I've ever killfiled an inhabitant of
> rec.arts.sf.composition before... Congratulations.
such thin skin! now, why exactly are you angry at ~me~? im not the one
who started correcting peoples spelling without even a comment on the
Subject: at hand. that was mr. heydt. just in case you forgot.
oh, and i think its a nice drama queen touch that you announced my
killfiling, so that it might somehow teach me and the world a lesson. did
you flip your hair and "hmph" when you hit send?
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