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Science Fiction » alt.startrek » Script of SNL Patrick Stewart 1994 Appearance #4 -- 2 skits from closed captions
| Script of SNL Patrick Stewart 1994 Appearance #4 -- 2 skits from closed captions [message #139148] |
Fr, 30 September 2005 09:40 |
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In these 1994 Saturday Night Live skits, Patrick Stewart of Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994), to his credit,
says: "say No to anal sex !". As such, Stewart, who I am sure contributed to both of these 1994 Saturday Night
Live scripts, clearly wanted to denounce the direction the Star Trek franchise took at that time when it was
taken over by Hollywood Homosexuals, after the 1991 death of Gene Roddenberry and the takeover of the Star Trek
enterprise by Rick Berman.
Episodes like ST:TNG The Outcast in 1992 and the whole script of the new series Star Trek Deep: Space Nine
(1993-1999) with the androgynous (male and female in the same body) Jadzia Dax (Terry Farrell) character were
designed primarily to sell Sodomy to you and your kids in this new Rick Berman era.
Politics
==========================================================
[Transcripts of 2 Saturday Night Live skits excerpted from the February 5, 1994 Patrick Stewart appearance from closed captions]
===============================================
>>> Hi!
Welcome to sexy cakes, the erotic bakery.
>> I've walked by this place. I never thought I'd go inside it.
>> Well, I think you'll find that it's a little more fun than an ordinary bakery.
>> Yeah, my friend's havin' a bachelor party, and I thought it might be kind of fun if I got him an erotic cake.
>> Well, you have come to the right place. I have the perfect sexy cake for a bachelor party.
Oh, oh -- what about this one? What do you think?
>> Looks like a woman goin' to the bathroom.
[ Light laughter ]
>> Yeah, it's very sexy.
[ Laughter ]
>> What else do you have?
>> Ooh, I understand. It's not, perhaps, your cup of tea.
Perhaps -- maybe this sexy cake might be more up your alley.
>> This is the exact same cake.
>> No, no, no. This is chocolate.
[ Laughter ]
>> Yeah, but it's still a woman goin' to the bathroom.
>> Exactly.
Oh, could you excuse me for a moment?
>>Hi.
Hi, we're here to pick up our cake.
>> Yes, the man-on-man lemon meringue.
[ Laughter ]
>> Right.
I took a little artistic license with this one, but, well, I think you'll enjoy the results.
>> Hey, this is a woman going to the bathroom.
[ Laughter ]
>> Yeah, it's very exciting, isn't it?
That'll be $15.
>> We wanted a cake of two guys having sex.
>> Yeah, I know.
Well, I guess you can say I sexied it up for you. No extra charge.
>> Party's tonight. We'll take it.
>> Thank you.
Oh, you'll have to excuse me. It has been like this all day.
>> What other types of cakes do you have?
>> Well, why don 't we take a look at our catalog?
Now, you see, this shows every sexy, titillating cake we offer. Oh, now, here's a woman squatting behind some bushes.
[ Laughter ]
Look, the leaves are made of spun sugar. [this is a great SNL parody line]
And -- oh.
Here's a lady using a little marzipan port-a-potty.
>> So all your cakes are women going to the bathroom?
>> Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
What's your point?
>> Well, don't you have anything else?
>> Look, maybe you don't understand. This is an erotic bakery.
>> I'm sorry.
I just don't find this very erotic.
>> A woman going to the bathroom? You don't find it erotic?
>> No, not really.
>> Well, then what, pray tell, would you suggest we do put on our erotic cakes?
[ Light laughter ]
>> I don't know --people having sex? Female and male genitalia. You know, somethin' like that.
>> Well, if that's what you're after, I suggest you try Hostess or Sara Lee.
[ Laughter ]
>> Can't you just make a cake with a couple on it having sex?
>> All right, look, I'll tell you what I will do.
I will make a cake with a woman and a man going to the bathroom.
[ Light laughter ]
And then, that way, you'll be happy, and your friends will be happy.
>> I don't think my friends would like that, either.
>> Well, I would certainly like to meet these friends of yours sometime!
[ Light laughter ]
>> Look, could we just have a cake with just sex and no going to the bathroom?
>> May I remind you that you are going to have to eat this cake?
[ Light laughter ]
>> I'll tell you what --just give me a regular cake with nothing on it.
>> I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
>> Why?!
>> This is some kind of joke, isn't it? Who put you up to this, a fraternity?
You get out! Go on. Get out of here, young man!
>> Hi. It's my fiancé's birthday. Can I get a cake shaped like a woman going to the bathroom?
>> Absolutely.
[ Cheers and applause ]
===========================================
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Nickelodeon theme plays ]
You show me and I'll show you dr. Elders will show us, too 'cause you're
never too young and you're never too small to know the difference between a penis and a ball
yay
>> Nickelodeon presents --
"Show and Tell," with Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders.
>> Good morning, boys and girls. And welcome to "Show and Tell."
You know, learning safe sex is as easy as A-B-C.
Did somebody say "A-B-C"?
"A" is for "abstinence."
Which -- I have to be honest with you -- is a Reagan-era fantasy.
[ Light laughter ]
Children are going to have sex. It's as easy as that.
Okay?
"B" is for "bastard."
That's a technical word for the product of an out-of-wedlock pregnancy.
Now, do we have any bastards here today?
[ Laughter ]
Come on, Tony. You're a bastard. Raise your hand.
[ Laughter ]
There's no shame in that. Good, Tony.
You know, Jesse Jackson is a bastard.
As are all of Goldie Hawn's children.
[ Laughter ]
Can you say "Jesse Jackson" and "Goldie Hawn"?
>> All: Jesse Jackson and Goldie Hawn.
>> Good!
Now, what we are tryin' to do is to make fewer bastards, which brings us to
"C."
Now, what is "C" for, children?
>> All: "Condoms"!
>> That's right.
Very good.
We learn that every week.
Can't hit the condoms too hard.
Condom, condom, condom!
[ Laughter ]
Well, boys and girls, I think "A" through "C" is good for today.
Tomorrow, we'll study "D" through "G."
That's "dental dam" through "gonorrhea."
[ Bell rings ]
Oh, goody, goody, goody!
It's time for our special guest. And he's come all the way
from the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta.
Boys and girls, let's give a warm "Show and Tell" welcome to Dr. Ian Menchenson.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome, Dr. Menchenson.
>> Thank you, General Elders. It's a great pleasure to be here.
We, at the Center for Disease Control, agree that kids are never too young to hear frank and open discussion of sexuality
and health issues.
And that's why we are terribly excited about our new program, which is called "project just say no to anal intercourse."
[ Laughter ]
>> Now, what do you have to show the children?
>> Well -- this is what we at "Project Just Say No To Anal Intercourse" call the visible rectum.
[ Laughter ]
Now, this --this -- it's a learning tool.
And we have developed it especially for children aged 6 to 8.
>> Uh-huh, and how does it work?
>> How does it work?
Well, basically, we think it's absolutely vital for children to know that, during anal intercourse, the tearing and ripping of the
anal membrane can expose the receptor's bloodstream to a large dose of HIV-laden ejaculate --
>> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
>> I'm sorry?
>> No, doctor.
I think you're frightenin' the children.
>> Good.
Good!
That's just what we're trying to do at "Project Just Say No To Anal Intercourse."
You see, we want to discourage anal intercourse among children, and by alerting them to the dangers --
>> No, no, no, doctor!
I think maybe the visible rectum is a bad idea.
>> Oh. I have drawings.
>> No, no, no.
I'm afraid that we've run out of time.
Kids, let's thank Dr. Menchenson.
[ Applause ]
Well, that's all the time we have for today. But before we go, I should announce that this was our last show for nickelodeon.
Evidently, we've been gettin' a lot of negative mail from some very narrow-minded people.
But that's okay. We're movin' to PBS on weekdays, following "Daddy's Got a Boyfriend."
[ Laughter ]
And remember, boys and girls, if you're gonna have anal-oral contact and you're not sure of your partner's history --
>> All: Use a dental dam.
>> Bye-bye, now.
Bye-bye.
[ Applause ]
==================================
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| Re: Script of SNL Patrick Stewart 1994 Appearance #4 -- 2 skits from closed captions [message #141313 ] |
Fr, 30 September 2005 21:55 |
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On Fri, 30 Sep 2005 00:40:16 -0700, "John Shocked"
<jshocked [at] hotmail.com> wrote:
>In these 1994 Saturday Night Live skits, Patrick Stewart of Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994), to his credit,
>says: "say No to anal sex !". As such, Stewart, who I am sure contributed to both of these 1994 Saturday Night
>Live scripts, clearly wanted to denounce the direction the Star Trek franchise took at that time when it was
>taken over by Hollywood Homosexuals, after the 1991 death of Gene Roddenberry and the takeover of the Star Trek
>enterprise by Rick Berman.
>
>Episodes like ST:TNG The Outcast in 1992 and the whole script of the new series Star Trek Deep: Space Nine
>(1993-1999) with the androgynous (male and female in the same body) Jadzia Dax (Terry Farrell) character were
>designed primarily to sell Sodomy to you and your kids in this new Rick Berman era.
>
I realize this guy's a troll, but seriously, he posts some of the best
bigotry against gays I have ever seen. To equate BSG or star trek as
promoting sodomy. That's just brilliant! John, I really, really
enjoy your work-- keep it up, man.
Zeligg
"Prayer has no place in the public schools,
just like facts have no place in organized religion."
- Superintendent Chalmers, The Simpsons
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| Re: Script of SNL Patrick Stewart 1994 Appearance #7 -- 2 skits from closed captions [message #141325 ] |
Sa, 01 Oktober 2005 06:33 |
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"Zeligg" <zeligg [at] nospeedspamfactoryatall.net> wrote in message news:8u5rj1lppf8hmef9ca2gbl5nj9cifi3633 [at] 4ax.com...
> On Fri, 30 Sep 2005 00:40:16 -0700, "John Shocked"
> <jshocked [at] hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>In these 1994 Saturday Night Live skits, Patrick Stewart of Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994), to his credit,
>>says: "say No to anal sex !". As such, Stewart, who I am sure contributed to both of these 1994 Saturday Night
>>Live scripts, clearly wanted to denounce the direction the Star Trek franchise took at that time when it was
>>taken over by Hollywood Homosexuals, after the 1991 death of Gene Roddenberry and the takeover of the Star Trek
>>enterprise by Rick Berman.
>>
>>Episodes like ST:TNG The Outcast in 1992 and the whole script of the new series Star Trek Deep: Space Nine
>>(1993-1999) with the androgynous (male and female in the same body) Jadzia Dax (Terry Farrell) character were
>>designed primarily to sell Sodomy to you and your kids in this new Rick Berman era.
> I realize this guy's a troll, but seriously, he posts some of the best
> bigotry against gays I have ever seen. To equate BSG or star trek as
> promoting sodomy. That's just brilliant! John, I really, really enjoy your work-- keep it up, man.
> Zeligg
More personal attacks. Why not tell us about what is so good about Sodomy and why Hollywood Homosexuals
for whom you work are so determined to sell Sodomy to you and your kids ? Inquiring minds would like to know.
Win this thing. Defeat my views.
You cannot win this debate by simple personal attacks. The general public may not be generally that smart,
but they are smarter than that.
How can simple truths about deviant disgusting and harmful behavior be bigotry ?
Behavior like Sodomy, Drugs, Gambling, Prostitution have nothing to do with Civil Rights, which is based
on discrimination against people based on their appearance at birth, black or woman.
Sodomy, like Drugs, Gambling and Prostitution, is a right wing libertarian Civil Liberties issue.
To weak minds, civil rights and civil liberties sound similar. How they are at completely opposite
ends of the political spectrum.
For example, blacks and hispanics vote in much higher proportions against homosexual marriage
than the rest of the population. There is no connection between these two issues.
=======================================================
http://www.profam.org/press/thc_pr_040813.htm
In 2000, California voters approved a ballot question (Proposition 22), defining marriage as the union of a
man and a woman. In liberal, laid-back California, the vote in favor of upholding traditional marriage was 61%
to 39%. Blacks and Hispanics approved the measure by higher percentages than whites.
========================================================
=====================================================
1) Sodomy involves bringing the male procreative organ in contact with the faeces excrement of another man,
which is disgusting and does not belong on TV,
2) it is a major source of disease since cuts within the anal tract occur when an unnatural hard object is
inserted into that orifice, which allow blood to mix with disease carrying sperm ejaculate,
3) Sodomy is central to a lifestyle of homosexuality, which rejects life, and the role of
child procreation and child nurturing, which is essential to the continuation of any civilization.
For these reasons and more, Sodomy/Homosexuality has been universally condemned by all societies and
is universally considered to be immoral.
Sodomy/Homosexuality should not be shown on TV.
The same Hollywood Homosexuals Neo-Conservatives forcing Sodomy on TV to you and your kids are
selling Hate and Mass Murder of Arabs/Moslems.
======================================================
People should not be chased away from their TVs by criminals who have bought control of
the science fiction TV genre in Hollywood for the purpose of selling Sodomy to you and your kids
and preaching Mass Murder of Arabs/Moslems.
Society should respond by banning the deviant content.
1) The US Federal Communications Commission (FCC) needs to step in on deviant
Hollywood Homosexual TV series like BSG and ban the deviant content outright.
2) Congress needs to pass a law restricting the US Supreme Court from making any further
corrupt decisions claiming to interpret the First Amendment which in any way interfere with
the actions of the US Congress and the FCC in this area.
Then if those same wealthy fatcat Hollywood Homosexuals still want to continue creating the series,
that would be up to them. I really doubt they would, without being allowed to peddle their
deviant habits to you and your kids on national TV.
Politics
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| Re: Script of SNL Patrick Stewart 1994 Appearance #4 -- 2 skits from closed captions [message #141348 ] |
Sa, 01 Oktober 2005 21:16 |
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In article <zZ5%e.304302$E95.187307 [at] fed1read01>, John Shocked
<jshocked [at] hotmail.com> wrote:
> In these 1994 Saturday Night Live skits, Patrick Stewart of Star Trek: The
> Next Generation (1987-1994), to his credit,
> says: "say No to anal sex !". As such, Stewart, who I am sure contributed to
> both of these 1994 Saturday Night
> Live scripts, clearly wanted to denounce the direction the Star Trek
> franchise took at that time when it was
> taken over by Hollywood Homosexuals, after the 1991 death of Gene Roddenberry
> and the takeover of the Star Trek
> enterprise by Rick Berman.
>
> Episodes like ST:TNG The Outcast in 1992 and the whole script of the new
> series Star Trek Deep: Space Nine
> (1993-1999) with the androgynous (male and female in the same body) Jadzia
> Dax (Terry Farrell) character were
> designed primarily to sell Sodomy to you and your kids in this new Rick
> Berman era.
>
> Politics
>
>
> ==========================================================
> [Transcripts of 2 Saturday Night Live skits excerpted from the February 5,
> 1994 Patrick Stewart appearance from closed captions]
> ===============================================
>
> >>> Hi!
> Welcome to sexy cakes, the erotic bakery.
> >> I've walked by this place. I never thought I'd go inside it.
> >> Well, I think you'll find that it's a little more fun than an ordinary
> >> bakery.
> >> Yeah, my friend's havin' a bachelor party, and I thought it might be kind
> >> of fun if I got him an erotic cake.
> >> Well, you have come to the right place. I have the perfect sexy cake for
> >> a bachelor party.
> Oh, oh -- what about this one? What do you think?
> >> Looks like a woman goin' to the bathroom.
> [ Light laughter ]
> >> Yeah, it's very sexy.
Mmmm I 'd like to see Jadzia Dax (Terry Farrell) going to the bathroom.
That's hot.
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