| Some filthy Trek limericks [message #212969] |
Do, 02 Februar 2006 03:06 |
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Well, I write filthy Star Trek limericks...
There once was a gal named T'Pring
Who was to wear Spock's wedding ring
But when he got the fever
He picked up to leave her
'Cause he and Kirk started a T'hing.
Mr. Scott found some time for his lassie
And was making her wail like a Banshee.
Then the transporter stalled:
Mr. Scott's duty called,
So he left her to get off Scott-free
Data has triple the toil
Since his social life came to a boil.
His erector set
Is so constantly wet,
He needs sitz baths in 40 weight oil!
One time Odo decided that Quark
Would be OK to fuck as a lark.
Quark looks really icky,
But Odo's not picky
As long as the room's really dark!
That vixen called 7 of 9
Decided to ply Kes with wine.
Kes downed one whole glass
Then 9 grabbed her ass
And said, "OK, bitch, now you're mine!"
Doctor Phlox and his wives, after dark,
Have a life that must out-kinky Quark
Each wife has three guys,
And each guy has three wives...
I wonder, where do they all park?
While aboard the Xyrillian ship
Tucker somehow found time to unzip
As the aliens found
The guy gets around
Which is probably why he's called "Trip"
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213021 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 05:42 |
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Sisko's a neurotic male,
And Odo is pasty and pale,
But that doesn't explain
On the whole, in the main,
Why only Quark gets any tail!
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213022 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 05:44 |
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Harry Mudd had brought three sexy lasses.
Mr. Spock, he was making no passes...
But when they were done talkin',
And then they got to walkin',
Captain Kirk caught Spock watching their asses.
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213023 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 05:45 |
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Data's Naked Now Limerick, Completed
There once was a lady from Venus
Who's body was shaped like a genus
of mollusk (a clam)
and sticky like jam...
And she got sick once she had ~seen us~!
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213024 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 05:46 |
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"Enterprise" has some brand-new marines
And we know they'll be feeling their beans:
Well, they'll need to be told...
T'Pol's bumps they behold...
Well, they really aren't breasts: they're canteens.
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213025 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 05:47 |
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Now You Know
McCoy is a surgeon superb
There's one rumor it's now time to curb...
One of life's great unknowns -
Why he's called Doctor "Bones":
It's not a noun, it's a verb.
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213026 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 05:48 |
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He's Not Made Of Stone
Take a look at the lovely Uhura
Think the Captain would do her? Why, sure-a!
Even if Kirk is Gay,
They'd still roll in the hay,
'Cause she has such a sexy allure-a.
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213027 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 05:49 |
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Don't Tell, Don't Ask
Mirror Spock is a keen intellectual
And his snooping proved very effectual
But he scarcely believed
How they'd all been deceived:
Kirk's a closeted ~heterosexual~!
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213028 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 05:50 |
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Troi noticed that Tasha was glowing...
She asked why, and Yar started crowing,
"Data's a dream,
A real sex machine!"
Now guess where we saw Riker going?
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213029 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 05:59 |
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Kes looks like the delicate one
But when 9 tried to use her for fun
She kicked, and she fought
And she hurt 9 a lot...
And she screamed, until 7 was done.
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213030 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 06:00 |
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7 of 9 is too haughty,
And trying to rape Kes is naughty...
But Kes was impressed:
Once 9 got her undressed
She was suddenly feeling so hottie.
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213031 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 06:01 |
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Knock, Knock...
Captain Kirk likes to mess with men some...
He will also fuck girls 'til they're numb.
He's a generous guy
Which is probably why
When you knock on his door he says "Come!"
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213032 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 06:02 |
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You Don't Have To Twist His Arm
Spock has melded with things like a Horta -
Was it always platonic? Well, sorta.
When defenses are down
Juicy bits do abound
And tuning them out's not his forta.
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213033 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 06:03 |
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That Slippery Slope
1) Spock felt the old fire in his blood...
2) Kirk hated to lose his best bud...
3) There was this big fight...
4) Someone doused the light...
5) Kirk learned that Spock's really a stud!
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| Re: Some filthy Trek limericks [message #213034 ] |
Fr, 03 Februar 2006 06:04 |
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How It Began
Spock and Kirk, in a Vulcan mind meld,
Revealed secret passions they held
Spock's hot thoughts of sodomy
Make Kirk feel all "bottomy"
And that's how that silly mess jelled.
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